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  • FIRST POST
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    • 4,456Posts
    • 18,138Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...
    • #1
    • 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up... 9th May 17 at 12:47 PM
    I'm back again, worse than ever to be honest. Things all hit a head in March and along with help being needed in other areas than financial I realised that the money side of things are a big issue in fixing things elsewhere.

    Although not posting I have been reading the diaries I have followed, so many who helped along when I first started are happily debt free now. I want to join them one day, both in being debt free and in happiness.

    Our finances on paper while tight look okay. However we both smoke and my OH is not very responsible. At all. I fell into a gambling issue which I've sought help for and not a penny has gone on gambling since March.

    Our household is me (Not working, our youngest has complicated health issues), My OH he works full time with over time, and 3 delightful children

    I will make a seperate post for my debts/goals and then one with our SOA when I've completed it.

    Hope I can stay around to sort myself, the debt and the happiness thing out.
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
Page 13
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 19th May 17, 9:56 AM
    • 767 Posts
    • 6,614 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    That's great about the cooker. Anybody with a van who could collect it for you? Somebody from OH's place of work?
    I wonder if the debt advisers might be able to help re beds. If you explain that you don't have any and can't afford to buy them (which should be obvious when they look at your finances) they might be able to suggest something even if you're not on benefits.
    NSD 8/15 Weightloss 1.3/7 Aug womble £53.02 2017 Wombling total £1191.64
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 10:20 AM
    • 4,456 Posts
    • 18,138 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Aldi shop done £24.51 quite pleased with this even if you add on the £10 from Mr T for nappies and wipes.

    Meal plan rearranged around some appointments and school activities

    This weekend we are going to find more things to eBay although I can only list/sell 3 more items until the end of the month. I'm going to make sure I use all 10 items a month even if it's only 99p things

    Sweeping the carpets was a lot easier when the others are out the house and not walking through the mess and treading it back where I'd done so not as annoyed about no hoover now

    I've messaged OH to ask a friend with a van if he can bring the cooker in return for some cake

    I'm watching some toddler beds for youngest on ebay and will keep in mind for when the eBay funds are released. The other two have beds that will last for now and me and OH don't really care about us
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
    • cbsexec
    • By cbsexec 19th May 17, 11:01 AM
    • 326 Posts
    • 1,765 Thanks
    cbsexec
    We also used to sleep on the floor when the kids were small. Also used to drag the mattress into the living room every night in winter as it was freezing in the bedroom! Oh happy days. You are doing so well - keep going.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 1:30 PM
    • 4,456 Posts
    • 18,138 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Update 19/05/2017
    So now we look like this
    Weekly

    Outgoings

    £113.07 Rent (£15 goes to arrears)

    £45 Council tax (Absolute minimum to be paid to clear for 2018 bill being generated)

    £30 Gas & Electric (Pay as you go, debt automatically taken from each top up at £7 a week from each meter)

    £6 TV license

    £20 Virgin/Mobiles (Can't wait to get rid of Virgin)

    £15 Bus pass OH work travel

    £6.25 School Dinners

    Needed for bills £234.75.

    Debt minimum payments.

    Big fine (OH) £25
    Small fine (me) £5
    Friend £20

    Total £50

    Not urgent but needed

    £10 Aunt
    £10 Mum
    £10 Step dad

    Total £30

    £314.75 needed before we even food shopping/school expenses/things that crop

    Income

    OH wage £200 (This is what he plans to 'give' to the pot each week
    Child benefit £48.10
    Tax credits £109

    Total £357.10.

    Leaves £42.35 for nappies/food shop etc.

    Things to catch up on to make above work.

    TV license £24
    Mum £50 £30
    Council tax £64 £44
    Small Fine £105

    Debt 16/5/17

    Council Tax £2092.71 £2066 (£15 paid)
    Fine 1 £1250
    Fine 2 £200 £85 (£5 paid)
    Aunt £1000
    Mum £340 + £87 £30 (£20 paid)
    Step Dad £1000
    Friend £1379

    Total £7348.71 £7155 ( £198.71 paid )


    Rent arrears £3381.28 £3365
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 1:33 PM
    • 4,456 Posts
    • 18,138 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Me and OH arguing again about money and his spending beginning to think how much easier it'd be without all his !!!! tbh

    He's staying at a friends tonight for drinks and computer games. Meaning he won't do the overtime offered tomorrow.

    The nearer it gets to half term the more I want my mum to confirm the break away, I think time away is needed, just me and the kids.

    Updated above with the things paid etc. Been and done the TV license/gas/electric for this week.

    Bank balance £17.74 (need £6.25 school dinners) and I havent topped my phone up yet.
    Savings £30 (the eBay funds waiting to be sent to the debt but for now they're staying where they are.)

    Will pay more to the council tax during the week as PayPal funds are released and withdrawn £12.50 from panel base.
    Last edited by Hiddenidenity; 19-05-2017 at 1:40 PM.
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 19th May 17, 4:09 PM
    • 767 Posts
    • 6,614 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    I am so sorry. I thought he had taken this all on board but obviously not. Can I ask if the gas/electricity has been reduced (was £50 as opposed to £30?). You don't have a lot left but if you can keep paying the bills for the moment maybe the debt advisers can come up with a better plan. Although you're doing so very well yourself (better than most given the circumstances) professionals possibly know something you don't. When is the appointment?
    As for your relationship with OH. Professional help with that as well? I know he won't agree but maybe someone to get things into perspective for you, yourself? If your mother doesn't mention the break do you have a friend or relative you could stay with for half term. Doesn't have to be far away and I think any break would do you good. xx
    NSD 8/15 Weightloss 1.3/7 Aug womble £53.02 2017 Wombling total £1191.64
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 19th May 17, 4:18 PM
    • 5,312 Posts
    • 15,918 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Sorry you and OH have been rowing HI, its not nice when your arguing especially about money.

    Great news on the shop with Mr Al though, I keep saying I really should go there more.

    Happy Friday xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £7586.76 - 31/05/17 - 67.25% paid off
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 4:43 PM
    • 4,456 Posts
    • 18,138 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    He's an a$$ it makes me wonder why I bother meh!

    I think I'm going to replace my Mr S shop with Aldi all the time now. It's so much cheaper and no one's noticed any difference x
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 19th May 17, 4:53 PM
    • 767 Posts
    • 6,614 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Would definitely recommend it. We often plan our meals around their super six vegetables. Pity the nappies don't suit the wee one's needs. That would save you such a lot.
    NSD 8/15 Weightloss 1.3/7 Aug womble £53.02 2017 Wombling total £1191.64
    • DaringToDream
    • By DaringToDream 19th May 17, 5:28 PM
    • 139 Posts
    • 385 Thanks
    DaringToDream
    Hi Hidden, Sorry you and OH have been rowing over money- hope you're going to take advantage of having the house to yourself tonight and have a bit of well deserved 'you time' once the kids have gone down!

    There's an Aldi in the town we have just moved to so your post has inspired me to give it a go- always been a Mr L girl, but now that's further away will switch my loyalties (i'm so fickle ).

    Sounds like you are making great progress with paying things off though, and finding the cooker- hope your friend takes the cake bribe to deliver it!

    DTD xx
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 19th May 17, 5:28 PM
    • 4,017 Posts
    • 21,375 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    So your H (not going to call him DH) gets to keep £85 per week for himself but you get nothing for yourself - there is something wrong here.

    Let me just drop in here that if you separated you would get:

    £73.10 per week Income Support
    £47.10 Child Benefit
    £189 Child Tax Credit (approx. - give or take £10)
    plus maintenance for 3 kids (I reckon £50 per week)

    All your rent paid and nearly all your council tax paid (depends what your area have done with regard to Council Tax Benefit/Reduction)

    I know its not about the money but you would be so much better off without him and no one to argue about money with plus you would know all the bills have been paid!!!

    He seriously needs to grow up - just wondering when you get to go out with your mates and stay out all night?!?!?

    Angry EE!!!
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for July
    NSD - 8/16
    (up to 15/08/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 19th May 17, 5:53 PM
    • 767 Posts
    • 6,614 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Hello EE - I share your anger. You've just said all the things that I wanted to but thought that maybe I shouldn't interfere. From what you say, Hidden. you would be better on your own with the children and not just financially. He's just not helping your situation. It's a scary thought and I get the impression that you are not very confident but would you really miss him that much or are you just worried that you can't manage on your own. What is he bringing to this relationship? You've shown you can be very capable - look at what you've achieved this week. There's lots pf help out there. You deserve a life as well.
    NSD 8/15 Weightloss 1.3/7 Aug womble £53.02 2017 Wombling total £1191.64
    • ada-or-ardor
    • By ada-or-ardor 19th May 17, 7:13 PM
    • 131 Posts
    • 495 Thanks
    ada-or-ardor
    The fact he's going out for drinks and computer games is bsolutely shocking, when he had offered to be in a position to work tomorrow. Also, what about the fact maybe you need a break once in a while. Sounds like he doesn't want to take any responsibility whatsoever. My blood boils on your behalf!!
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 7:53 PM
    • 4,456 Posts
    • 18,138 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I don't go out I have no friends

    I'll have calmed down before he's home tomorrow and all will be calm again.

    Although he hasn't even opened his card for our anniversary

    On the plus side of arguing the house is sparkling because I've taken my mood out on that

    Just sat in the garden having a coffee, the kids are tucked up in bed

    Going to sweep round the house and front etc I think why the weather is calm and I've nothing better to do
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 7:57 PM
    • 4,456 Posts
    • 18,138 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    So your H (not going to call him DH) gets to keep £85 per week for himself but you get nothing for yourself - there is something wrong here.

    Let me just drop in here that if you separated you would get:

    £73.10 per week Income Support
    £47.10 Child Benefit
    £189 Child Tax Credit (approx. - give or take £10)
    plus maintenance for 3 kids (I reckon £50 per week)

    All your rent paid and nearly all your council tax paid (depends what your area have done with regard to Council Tax Benefit/Reduction)

    I know its not about the money but you would be so much better off without him and no one to argue about money with plus you would know all the bills have been paid!!!

    He seriously needs to grow up - just wondering when you get to go out with your mates and stay out all night?!?!?

    Angry EE!!!
    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant
    I agree with all you've said I'm not perfect though and he isn't all bad xx
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 19th May 17, 8:35 PM
    • 767 Posts
    • 6,614 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Just as a matter of interest can I ask how old he is and how long you've been together?
    NSD 8/15 Weightloss 1.3/7 Aug womble £53.02 2017 Wombling total £1191.64
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 9:00 PM
    • 4,456 Posts
    • 18,138 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Logged in the council tax account and we need to pay £178 by the 4th. That's catching up on the payment me missed (23.57) 2 agreement payments (2 x £25) and this years monthly installment (£104.43). That means I need to pay just over £11 a day! That's my target and where my eBay sales/surveys etc will go.

    After that.
    Between the 4th June - 1st July payments are £207. (4 x £25 agreement and £107 monthly installment)

    Between 1st July - 1st August payments are £232. (5 x £25 agreement and £107 monthly installment)

    Between 1st August - 1st September payments are £207 (4 x £25 agreement £107 monthly installment)

    I was trying to work out what I need to pay a day but my head doesn't work I'll come back to it

    ETA.
    I think there's 104 days between now and the 1st September.
    Above payment's are £824.

    About £7.95 a day? Meh how am I making it so hard
    Last edited by Hiddenidenity; 19-05-2017 at 10:00 PM.
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 9:01 PM
    • 4,456 Posts
    • 18,138 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Just as a matter of interest can I ask how old he is and how long you've been together?
    Originally posted by Toni'sfriend
    40 on Monday and 13 years today
    DFW £953.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £391.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £83.08 Cash + £80 Amazon
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 19th May 17, 11:24 PM
    • 393 Posts
    • 3,332 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    Happy anniversary HI , treat yourself this evening, you deserve it. Can't believe Dh wouldn't want to be at home with you on a special date. Hope he realises and comes home with flowers and chocolates.
    Hope you manage to sort the cooker. Sorry it's just a short post as using my phone.
    LBM-March 17 £2861/£33554 (8.5%) paid
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 20th May 17, 9:32 AM
    • 4,017 Posts
    • 21,375 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Apologies for being blunt!!

    Can't believe he went out without you on your anniversary.

    I still can't fathom out what he needs £85 (or more) per week for?
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for July
    NSD - 8/16
    (up to 15/08/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
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