Can men and women be friends?

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  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,339 Forumite
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    Taking this one step further, can bisexual people have friends?
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • Bogof_Babe
    Bogof_Babe Posts: 10,803 Forumite
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    Torry_Quine wrote: »
    It wouldn't bother me at all. I trust him

    But can you trust his female friend not to come on to him? Men are only flesh and blood, and if temptation is on offer with no strings attached...

    I trusted mine, for over 35 years I never had any reason to doubt him, but a younger woman at work set her sights on him (turns out she was in big debt and was after a sugar daddy), and it damn near broke us up.


    I still don't see what you can get from a male-female relationship that you can't get from same sex, unless there are "feelings" involved.
    :D I haven't bogged off yet, and I ain't no babe :D

  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
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    *max* wrote: »
    Recipe for disaster.


    Why? I don't see why this is an issue.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
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    Bogof_Babe wrote: »
    You're deluding yourself then.

    No how am I? I know I like his company, why can't we be friends?
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • *max*
    *max* Posts: 3,208 Forumite
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    I think you just want people to tell you that, yes, it's possible, and they have great friends of the opposite sex - to justify to yourself that what you're doing is alright, really, even though you are married. No harm done, you just want a friend, and spending time together, one to one, watching a dvd, is perfectly ok - because so many people are doing it. Right?

    But you also want to ignore the big warning signs (that you acknowledge because why else would you have posted this thread?) - that you fancy him, and thus cannot safely be friends with him.

    You want to justify your desire to spend time with a man other than your husband, a man whom you're attracted to - as harmless "friendship".
  • Bogof_Babe
    Bogof_Babe Posts: 10,803 Forumite
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    catmiaow wrote: »
    No how am I? I know I like his company, why can't we be friends?

    What does "being friends" involve? If you get along okay with someone, then you ARE friends. What more do you want?
    :D I haven't bogged off yet, and I ain't no babe :D

  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
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    Bogof_Babe wrote: »
    But can you trust his female friend not to come on to him? Men are only flesh and blood, and if temptation is on offer with no strings attached...

    I trusted mine, for over 35 years I never had any reason to doubt him, but a younger woman at work set her sights on him (turns out she was in big debt and was after a sugar daddy), and it damn near broke us up.


    I still don't see what you can get from a male-female relationship that you can't get from same sex, unless there are "feelings" involved.

    Well like I said my partner doesn't like all of the same things I do, so friends fill the gap.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,840 Forumite
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    Bogof_Babe wrote: »
    But can you trust his female friend not to come on to him? Men are only flesh and blood, and if temptation is on offer with no strings attached...

    I trusted mine, for over 35 years I never had any reason to doubt him, but a younger woman at work set her sights on him (turns out she was in big debt and was after a sugar daddy), and it damn near broke us up.


    I still don't see what you can get from a male-female relationship that you can't get from same sex, unless there are "feelings" involved.

    Are you really saying that given the opportunity all men will be unfaithful! That's just not so. Even if someone behaved that way he wouldn't be interested.

    Friendships are not gender specific or shouldn't be.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
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    *max* wrote: »
    I think you just want people to tell you that, yes, it's possible, and they have great friends of the opposite sex - to justify to yourself that what you're doing is alright, really, even though you are married. No harm done, you just want a friend, and spending time together, one to one, watching a dvd, is perfectly ok - because so many people are doing it. Right?

    But you also want to ignore the big warning signs (that you acknowledge because why else would you have posted this thread?) - that you fancy him, and thus cannot safely be friends with him.

    You want to justify your desire to spend time with a man other than your husband, a man whom you're attracted to - as harmless "friendship".

    Well it wouldn't just be a dvd and it wouldn't just be us, it would be as a group as well.

    Attraction can be ignored, I have self control and he certainly doesn't know I think he is attractive!
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • Bogof_Babe
    Bogof_Babe Posts: 10,803 Forumite
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    catmiaow wrote: »
    Well like I said my partner doesn't like all of the same things I do, so friends fill the gap.

    And none of your female friends do either? What on earth are these "things"?
    :D I haven't bogged off yet, and I ain't no babe :D

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