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Not wanting a dog
green_cloth
Posts: 6 Forumite
Hi all,
I'm not looking for advice just hoping that maybe someone else as experienced when I am feeling.
Six months ago I agreed half hearted to buy a dog for the children. My dh and the kids love the dog but I cannot stand it in the house. I work stupid hours to buy lovely things for my home and its already ruined one settee. I hate the hair and smell and generally try my best to keep away from it if I can.
We are now in a lucky position to completely upgrade our home after years of saving and I dread the dog being in it.
The dog generally is good and I know its now its fault. I just cannot click with it and I desperately wish I had not agreed to it now.
Is there anyone at all who has felt this way?
I'm not looking for advice just hoping that maybe someone else as experienced when I am feeling.
Six months ago I agreed half hearted to buy a dog for the children. My dh and the kids love the dog but I cannot stand it in the house. I work stupid hours to buy lovely things for my home and its already ruined one settee. I hate the hair and smell and generally try my best to keep away from it if I can.
We are now in a lucky position to completely upgrade our home after years of saving and I dread the dog being in it.
The dog generally is good and I know its now its fault. I just cannot click with it and I desperately wish I had not agreed to it now.
Is there anyone at all who has felt this way?
If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!
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Comments
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What is it you want to do ?
Find another home for the dog or keep the dog and look into dog training classes ?
Maybe it's the type of dog but I've seen dogs on a settee before and haven't ruined it, maybe the previous owner let the dog ruin a settee.0 -
My OH was like this, after agreeing to get a family dog.
I love dogs but I don't like strong smells, so the dog smells were always kept to a minimum.
I'd suggest having some basic rules, such as no animals on furniture, in bedrooms etc, as well as buying pet friendly furniture, flooring and so on. For example, leather sofas and wood or laminate flooring make it easy to have a nice, clean and non-smelly home when you have a dog in the house.
If it helps, my OH did warm to our dog in time, but we are unlikely to get another one any time soon (our last dog died a while ago).[FONT="][FONT="] Fighting the biggest battle of my life.
Started 30th January 2018.
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Even at this stage the dog can be trained ...
Thats the problem, if the dog has been allowed on the furniture, in the bed, from the moment you got it then its the families fault,
Take it to behaviour classes or get someone else to take it,
And remember, your dog can sense your feelings,please be kind to it but firm,make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
and we will never, ever return.0 -
This is the reason my dad would never allow us to have pets.. He wouldn't put up with cats clawing the furniture or dog hair everywhere.0
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Och, tough one. No, you're far from the only person. The shelters are heaving with dogs (and cats) that should simply never have been purchased. That said, it's here now.
There's a deeper question I've got for you: would you have liked the idea of a dog if you hadn't felt forced into buying one? If so, then it's time to make your peace with having one and deal with your family about the real, practical issues that would make it easier to live with so there's one clear set of rules and expectations it can live by. And there's plenty of practical help that you can get with that.
If, on the other hand, you really really have never wanted a dog and don't want one, then your family just has to make its peace with the fact that the dog will be finding a new home. Once the tears and tantrums are done, get in contact with a local rescue that offers 'shelter in place'. Basically, they will screen potential adopters and the dog gets to go from your house directly to its new home. It'd be by far the fairest and least traumatic way for man and beast to proceed.
Courage, honesty and good luck to you.LBM: June 2023. Amount owed: ~£10,000I've gone debt free before, I can do it again!0 -
I find this very sad. When you get any pet ALL family members should be in agreement. It's not the poor dog's fault that it moults or that it smells although my dog doesn't smell.
If you thought you would have problems with dog hair why did you not get a breed that doesn't moult? My dog only sheds very little fur.
I can only suggest the same ideas as in post 3. I have leather settees as I allow my dog on them and they can be cleaned easily. Laminate flooring is also easy to sweep and keep clean although a lot of dogs slip on it. I have carpet but hoover it every day.The world is over 4 billion years old and yet you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie0 -
If, on the other hand, you really really have never wanted a dog and don't want one, then your family just has to make its peace with the fact that the dog will be finding a new home. Once the tears and tantrums are done, get in contact with a local rescue that offers 'shelter in place'. Basically, they will screen potential adopters and the dog gets to go from your house directly to its new home. It'd be by far the fairest and least traumatic way for man and beast to proceed.
Why?
Since the OP agreed to buy a dog, it's a bit unfair of them (and a bit late) to back out of it now.
By now, the family and the dog have become attached to each other and presumably the other members of OP's household also have some say about what happens in their home. I could understand 'getting rid' of the dog if the OP lived alone, but that is not the case here.[FONT="][FONT="] Fighting the biggest battle of my life. Started 30th January 2018.
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Och, tough one. No, you're far from the only person. The shelters are heaving with dogs (and cats) that should simply never have been purchased. That said, it's here now.
There's a deeper question I've got for you: would you have liked the idea of a dog if you hadn't felt forced into buying one? If so, then it's time to make your peace with having one and deal with your family about the real, practical issues that would make it easier to live with so there's one clear set of rules and expectations it can live by. And there's plenty of practical help that you can get with that.
If, on the other hand, you really really have never wanted a dog and don't want one, then your family just has to make its peace with the fact that the dog will be finding a new home. Once the tears and tantrums are done, get in contact with a local rescue that offers 'shelter in place'. Basically, they will screen potential adopters and the dog gets to go from your house directly to its new home. It'd be by far the fairest and least traumatic way for man and beast to proceed.
Courage, honesty and good luck to you.
Just as an aside, bear in mind that, once the 'tears and tantrums' subside, they will never forget that you chose a sofa above a living, breathing, sentient creature that they loved.
The ex decided to get rid of the dog once he realised that the kids liked it more than they did him. I certainly wasn't keen on the smells and commitment but, once mutt was here, it wasn't his fault and we had a responsibility to care for him for the rest of his life. I realised that everything, even a life and the feelings of everybody else, including the sound of the desolate sobs of the eldest as her best friend was chucked away, was disposable to him and nothing was ever the same again.
Is a fancy sofa worth seeing that look in your family's eyes for the rest of your life?I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
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Why?
Since the OP agreed to buy a dog, it's a bit unfair of them (and a bit late) to back out of it now.
By now, the family and the dog have become attached to each other and presumably the other members of OP's household also have some say about what happens in their home. I could understand 'getting rid' of the dog if the OP lived alone, but that is not the case here.
That is an excellent question and my thinking comes to this. What the dog deserves is a *good* home where everyone wants it. If it can be this home that would be the best, but if it cannot, then it mustn't suffer on account of one person's mistake. Nor does any family deserve ongoing strife. The dog can become a seed around which a family destroying crystal of resentment grows. Then the dog loses its home and the children lose and the adults lose out heavily too.
It would be very nice if the OP were prepared to like the dog as then the issues with the dog such as its being on the furniture, its smelliness and probably bad leash manners, not listening (so strange how all these things tend to go together) can be addressed, if the will is there.*
BUT. At the end of the day, if there's no way the OP can make her (his?) peace with the *idea* of a dog, then the right thing to do is to find the dog a better situation. To upgrade its life, so to speak.
*As other posters have been pointing out, these problems aren't that hard to fix. If the people in the family are all on the same page (and willing to actually follow through and do as they promise), then even a week could see a massive improvement on all fronts.LBM: June 2023. Amount owed: ~£10,000I've gone debt free before, I can do it again!0 -
Who looks after the dog? Has it been left down to you? Do the chikdren and your OH walk it every day?Never again will the wolf get so close to my door :eek:0
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