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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,105Posts
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 487
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 9th Jan 18, 2:53 PM
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    Pyxis
    Hallo Katapolt! Welcome!

    What do talking therapies entail? Is it a group thing where you share experiences?


    My feeling is that anything is worth a go. It's difficult to advise as different things work for different people.

    You've already tried CBT and counselling; presumably they didn't work too well for you?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Katapolt
    • By Katapolt 9th Jan 18, 2:56 PM
    • 96 Posts
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    Katapolt
    honestly i just think talking to any form of professional might help. i think part of it is just feeling like i need validation in my feelings from someone who can do so without be doubting their reasons.

    CBT helped somewhat with my anxiety, but at the moment theres a lot going on with my family and its bringing up a lot from the past that id buried. ive recently moved to a new area so i might see if theres anything there that would help.

    sometimes i wish i could just up and live in a caravan on a cliff with no contact with the outside world!
    FTB 2017
    Currently dealing with a Quarter Life Crisis
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 9th Jan 18, 3:02 PM
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    Pyxis
    Well, did a quick google, and it seems that Talking Therapy is a blanket term covering the following.......



    Counselling
    Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
    Psychotherapy
    Family therapy
    Relationship counselling
    Group therapy
    Interpersonal therapy
    Behavioural activation
    Mindfulness-based therapies



    And you've tried a couple of those.

    Group therapy might give you validation, especially if any of the group have identical experiences to yours.

    I don't know much about most of the others.


    Some of the others might be of more help. They'll probably be around later.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 9th Jan 18, 3:05 PM
    • 3,772 Posts
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    onomatopoeia99
    Welcome to the thread Katapolt. I don't have any personal experience, I know one friend with depression finds CBT helpful, another with EUPD (BPD in American) and some PTSD mixed in found it less so, but she's on the waiting list for DBT now.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 9th Jan 18, 8:08 PM
    • 3,799 Posts
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    dekaspace
    Last week was a nightmare with noise, again quiet at night quiet from lunchtime to evening to crazy amount of noise in evening so bad that when funnily enough it was at its worse when a friend arrived Friday night he barely got through door when he himself heard it and asked if I was sure it wasn't the neighbour being burgled.

    It sounded like a group of kids stomping and running about, so loud my lightshades were again wobbling about and my own glasses shaked at one of the crashes so the vibrations must of been extreme and my glass on the table actually rattled and fell over.

    Been ok since then, a few very early starts i.e 9am, but not sure if its the weather meaning I put on heating high or something else but had sore throat.

    And drained of energy
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 10th Jan 18, 7:12 PM
    • 3,799 Posts
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    dekaspace
    Interesting turn of events with neighbour, the council contacted her today and she saw me in the hallway and stopped me and discussed the situation, she was polite but made contradictions to her previous comments i.e before she told me she was Italian and her husband did shift work, she told me today shes Polish and she looks after the kid herself and the male voice I hear is a friend who is deaf in one ear who looks after the kids when she is at work.

    She did downplay the noise telling me like before it was from the flat above hers and how her kids spend their time on laptop, when I mentioned the noise I heard on Friday night especially she went "oh that was because I had 4 friends round and 8 kids in total in the flat"

    So in other words a somewhat contradiction to the noise unless shes trying to get around the idea by saying its the 6 kids from her friends that are making the noise, and went on to say "kids make noise, nothing (she) could do about it"

    One worry though was she had a 8 week old puppy which she admitted shes been looking after the past 2 weeks (in other words basically since Christmas Day) I don't know if thats a lie and she has in fact got a dog for Christmas and knows its against the council rules and can get in trouble.
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 10th Jan 18, 8:09 PM
    • 3,471 Posts
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    Gingernutty
    Also slightly nervous as i think me and Swain are getting our own place in 2 years time. His mums not happy with his dad and wants to move in 2 years when her pension comes in, meaning Swain will have to move out. We are both going to give her £20 a week to save for us and n 2 years time that should cover the moving costs/deposits etc. Its scary but its real and tats making me want to save money more than ever so its a good motivator at least
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    Why give her the money? Can't you set up a regular deposit, high interest account of your own? Jointly, or singly, you'll save a fair bit without involving Swain's mum.

    ETA: Happy New Year!!! I'll go back to hovering.
    Last edited by Gingernutty; 10-01-2018 at 8:14 PM.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 10th Jan 18, 9:01 PM
    • 32,270 Posts
    • 118,833 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Why give her the money? Can't you set up a regular deposit, high interest account of your own? Jointly, or singly, you'll save a fair bit without involving Swain's mum.

    ETA: Happy New Year!!! I'll go back to hovering.
    Originally posted by Gingernutty
    I would say, two reasons......

    1. If someone neutral knows you're saving, and sees the evidence, you're less likely to default.

    2. If you have have access to your own account, it'd be tempting to dip into it sometimes, or stop the payments.

    For the same reason, I told everyone I'm doing the Dry January. There's less chance of me failing if people know I'm doing it.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 10th Jan 18, 10:51 PM
    • 18,905 Posts
    • 19,247 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    About cravings - what I found very helpful was a sentence in the 5:2 book 'NO ONE is hungry in the first 3 minutes of a parachute jump'. Distraction distraction!

    Oooo, ono - we can be naked angels together! (oooo errr missus!) Don't read the next bit if you're on Dry January - I hadn't bought any wines from them for ages, so used my enormous balance to get a box of reds in their sale (have you tried this? They have special bargain boxes every Jan. I was delighted they hadn't sold out on 4th). It included 2 bottles of Rioja - the only one we've tried so far, and it is NECTAR.

    Last year we got 12 bottles of a Merlot in the sale very cheaply, and decided we really didn't like it. The only bottle from them we've ever not liked. We rang up to try their guarantee that they will replace any bottle you don't like, and they said they would happily replace it. 'So what shall we do about returning it?' we said. They said 'Oh, just keep it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' An excellent company, IMHO.
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • elsien
    • By elsien 11th Jan 18, 1:29 PM
    • 15,626 Posts
    • 39,414 Thanks
    elsien
    Putting this out there for anyone who might want to submit evidence.

    https://www.gov.uk/government/groups/independent-review-of-the-mental-health-act
    Ends 22 Jan.
    Last edited by elsien; 11-01-2018 at 2:06 PM.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • SuperPikachu
    • By SuperPikachu 11th Jan 18, 1:56 PM
    • 116 Posts
    • 147 Thanks
    SuperPikachu
    Well I have made a few changes for my health in recent years.

    Gave up drugs
    Stopped seeing people that were a bad influence
    Gave up smoking
    Gave up adding sugar to anything
    Gave up gambling
    Gave up impulse shopping
    Gave up caffeine now
    Eat more vegetables

    I don't really exercise much lately and I know that would help hugely. I mostly suffer(ed) with social/regret types of anxiety/depression.

    I've been doing alot of reading too on my morning commutes and since giving up caffeine (only since christmas) for the first time ever I actually feel relaxed and my head is not all fuzzy and crowded with random thoughts and rubbish all day.

    I do not know if this would help anyone else but I read the Allen Carr books for my addictions (helped with all) and i'm currently reading an interesting book on anxiety that I recommend; Dr. Claire Weekes - Self help for your nerves: learn to relax and enjoy life again by overcoming stress and fear.
    "Wild Pikachu appeared!"
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 11th Jan 18, 2:43 PM
    • 32,270 Posts
    • 118,833 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Well I have made a few changes for my health in recent years.

    Gave up drugs
    Stopped seeing people that were a bad influence
    Gave up smoking
    Gave up adding sugar to anything
    Gave up gambling
    Gave up impulse shopping
    Gave up caffeine now
    Eat more vegetables

    r.
    Originally posted by SuperPikachu
    Goodness! That's quite an achievement!

    Well done!

    The thing about exercise is finding one that you actually enjoy, rather than one that you think you should do because it'd be good for you.

    I tried all sorts of things, but it was all either boring or a chore, or both. Not conducive.
    Then I found some English Country Dancing classes, which were great fun.
    Then I restarted tap dancing lessons, which I really enjoyed.


    However, I felt it wasn't quite enough.
    One day a friend said she'd heard about a lower impact Zumba class, designed for people who weren't fit, or who had health problems which would preclude them doing the 'normal' classes, so I went along to that.
    I found I loved the music, loved learning the basic dance steps, and enjoyed the exercise it gave me.

    The sum total was that I had discovered that for me, exercise had to include music, and not any old music, but music that I really enjoyed.

    Until I discovered that, I had almost despaired of finding anything to suit!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 11th Jan 18, 3:55 PM
    • 32,270 Posts
    • 118,833 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Going back to CRAVINGS, here's an interesting chart which suggests nutrients you might be deficient in that may be causing the craving.........


    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 11th Jan 18, 4:38 PM
    • 3,772 Posts
    • 8,416 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    I like the idea, but nuts, seeds, veggies and fruits aren't going to stop me wanting chocolate
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • SuperPikachu
    • By SuperPikachu 11th Jan 18, 5:47 PM
    • 116 Posts
    • 147 Thanks
    SuperPikachu
    @Pyxis I think I might print that out and stick it on the fridge!!!
    "Wild Pikachu appeared!"
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 11th Jan 18, 7:46 PM
    • 32,270 Posts
    • 118,833 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I like the idea, but nuts, seeds, veggies and fruits aren't going to stop me wanting chocolate
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99
    Eating the other things are a distraction, though!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 11th Jan 18, 11:50 PM
    • 1,764 Posts
    • 9,222 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Hi to all, old and new

    I wanted to ask the people in relationships, how does your other half react to your MH problems?

    When I first got ill my DH was really really horrible to me. Once he got his own head straight (and stopped smoking skunk) he improved and was much more understanding. Now he has learnt to recognise when something is up with me before I say anything, sometimes even by my voice over the phone. But even now I really hesitate to tell him when I'm feeling bad, because he isn't what I would call sympathetic. He will usually say "Lets watch tv and take your mind off it" which of course is helpful. But sometimes I just really need someone to hug me and tell me it's going to be ok.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 12th Jan 18, 12:53 AM
    • 17,086 Posts
    • 44,949 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Why give her the money? Can't you set up a regular deposit, high interest account of your own? Jointly, or singly, you'll save a fair bit without involving Swain's mum.

    ETA: Happy New Year!!! I'll go back to hovering.
    Originally posted by Gingernutty
    Its more so neither of us spend it, Swain isn;t too bad with money but i'm terrible which is why i give him money to save for me, i shall ask about putting it into an account though

    I was supposed to start the bipolar group session today but its a morrning session (yes i too am questioning the sanity to put a group of people with bipolar on a cocktail of sedative medications in a morning session ) and with working late on wednsdays (i didnt get home till 11:30 last night)i just can't do it. So i;ve asked if i can defer starting till the next session in june and i'm going to ask work if they will give me early wednesday finishes then/ Its only for 9 weeks so hopfully it can be done.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    busting my debt: £490/£2750
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 12th Jan 18, 12:58 AM
    • 17,086 Posts
    • 44,949 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Hi to all, old and new

    I wanted to ask the people in relationships, how does your other half react to your MH problems?

    When I first got ill my DH was really really horrible to me. Once he got his own head straight (and stopped smoking skunk) he improved and was much more understanding. Now he has learnt to recognise when something is up with me before I say anything, sometimes even by my voice over the phone. But even now I really hesitate to tell him when I'm feeling bad, because he isn't what I would call sympathetic. He will usually say "Lets watch tv and take your mind off it" which of course is helpful. But sometimes I just really need someone to hug me and tell me it's going to be ok.
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    Swain is very understanding. If i'm down he;'l offer me hugs and reassurance. if i' m up he'll try and calm me down. I'm very lucky that hes so understanding because i can be a living nightmare to deal with.

    I;ve not always been so lucky.

    One of my exes did not deal with it well. When i was going through different medications he told me that the mental health team should think of him cos he was the one who had to deal with me/ he threatened to kill himself because i "stressed him out", he told me he wished i;d died from my last suicide attempt, and when i was struggling with self harm told me he's do it himself to me if i carried on

    another ex refused point blank to acknowledge i was even mentally ill and told me frequently there were other people more deserving of benfits than me.

    So i've had mixed reactions.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    busting my debt: £490/£2750
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 12th Jan 18, 1:00 AM
    • 17,086 Posts
    • 44,949 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    also Pyxis, i've had no pepsi max all week and nearly drank though all the green tea work actually have i'm trying hard to kick the fizzy pop habit!
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    busting my debt: £490/£2750
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