A day from the diary of a BMW driver...
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worried_jim
Posts: 11,631 Forumite
in Motoring
A day from the diary of a BMW driver...
"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!
The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!
"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!
The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!
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Comments
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worried_jim wrote: »A day from the diary of a BMW driver...
See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!
Although you have it spot on re many BMW drivers. Surprisingly, drivers of REAL quality / rare motors often don't behave like this, even though their vehicle out-performs everything around it.Under no circumstances may any part of my postings be used, quoted, repeated, transferred or published by any third party in ANY medium outside of this website without express written permission. Thank you.0 -
Depends what BMW you drive as you won't get any respect from me if your flashing me with 4pot under the hood.0
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jim, too long a read for me to bother, but does it paraphrase into, "wish I could afford a decent car"?0
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BugsyBrowne wrote: »Depends what BMW you drive as you won't get any respect from me if your flashing me with 4pot under the hood.
Makes me laugh when people debadge them so you cant tell what engine is in it. Until you see one pathetic tail pipe and then you know its a 4 pot lol.
I'd personally debade a higher end model so people thought it was a povvo model.
Brilliant story OP.
I've just emailed it to some of my BMW frineds hehe.0 -
Funny how the 6 cylinders have only one tailpipe too though eh?0
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worried_jim wrote: »"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!
When you came onto the motorway there was a broken white line, you only cross that if your way ahead is clear.
The Highway code clearly states that you must give priority to traffic already on the motorway.
Other traffic does not need to slow down or give way to you.0 -
Is worried Jim going to come clean on what BMW model he has?0
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No longer applicable to BMW drivers, remove the BM and replace with a V. You know if there's a car on the road being driven like a to$$er it's got golf or passat written on the back.Clean credit file:12 mthsCar loan: FREE! :jTHE PLAN: 1.Pay off debt £8808.42(£3254.45, £1570.32, £2698.33, £0:dance:, £1000, £285.32) 2.Save monthly for Christmas/insurance etc £150 per month 3.Save for emergencies /£1500 4.Save for our B&B £????depends which one takes our fancy
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Although you have it spot on re many BMW drivers. Surprisingly, drivers of REAL quality / rare motors often don't behave like this, even though their vehicle out-performs everything around it.
My experience is that it's generally the salesmen in their 318 and 320d rep mobiles that behave like this, mind you the old joke that the difference between a Hedgehog and a BMW is the the BMW has the pricks on the inside tends to apply to a large number of BMW drivers.I hate football and do wish people wouldn't keep talking about it like it's the most important thing in the world0
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