NST Joyful July

Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things. Elise Boulding

Well we are half way through the month, how did that happen? If you are struggling, I suggest you take a deep breath and make another fresh start (you fall down, you get up again). Read through the challenge, simplify or alter your goals if you need to and press on.

My freezer is now empty enough for me to see what I need. There is still food in there but it's mainly cheese spread in the fridge and fish in the freezer and those need to be rationed out (fish is good 2-3 times a week but it's an expensive purchase). Going to make up a healthy meal plan later - made a start on Thursday by getting fruit and raw veg to accompany dips.

Sorry for absence but I was locked out of the forum last night and could not find the little notebook with the password in. Thought I was going to be stuck with the new format.

EE we can all have our own 'virtual smallholding' by following your adventures. Thanks for the reminder on not going 'cold turkey' on alcohol - safe with heroin, not with alcohol. Same goes for some prescription tranquilisers (not safe so check don't just stop taking them).

PlaysNicely I would put your diary on DFW. I know of at least one diarist who regularly questions whether she should be on DFW but I think there are lots of us dotted about, on low incomes and living as best we can through to pension age and beyond.

I am debt free and was never in a position to get a mortgage (bought this house outright with my savings, borrowing a small amount from my mother and a bank loan - through my father, as the bank preferred to lend to him, although we were both customers) but feel that this is my home.

I tend to go with the attitude of a friend whose husband was a self-employed window cleaner "We've always been 2 pay packets away from bankruptcy." I am debt free, I intend to remain debt free, but that requires constant vigilance and attention, especially as my health is not great.

Some parts of the forum I have tried can be 'not so nice'. I feel I have a lot in common with the oldstylers (lovely people generally) but if I am not well it exhausts me just reading about the 6 things they did before breakfast including foraging for berries, distilling their own medicine and knitting their muesli.

Similarly the planning for early retirement with their investments group (again mostly lovely people). I followed for a while then found myself thinking, "You stupid man, you could afford to retire tomorrow (with a few modest adjustments), instead you will die in harness because you haven't yet accumulated enough to keep running your private yacht/ vintage Rolls Royce. As one contributor remarked, none of them had guaranteed good health and even if they had private insurance to cover their needs they might still not be able to play with their toys any more.

abundance thanks for your advice and for letting us know your history (hugs). DS2 tried to commit suicide just as he was doing his final exams at university. Luckily one of the other boys who shared the house came back for something and found him. He's okay now but he's the one who I worry about most (I worry about them all in different ways). He has his father's addictive personality, drank far too much when he was younger and gambles occasionally.

Icc86 (sorry, I've been getting your name wrong, I had the screen a bit closer last night). Huge hugs. I am reluctant to give marital/ partner advice (one marriage was one too many for me) but maybe suggest that him going on this spur of the moment trip will cost the same as both of you doing the planned trip.

Maybe he's doing that 'lad's thing' (sorry abundant, but as mother to three boys + 2 brothers I know some of the really stupid things they can do - I wasn't thrilled when my brother told them about 'stair surfing', take a door off it's hinges and use it to surf down the stairs. luckily they and their friends only tried using duvets) of 'rebelling about being tied to the apron strings. We know that's not how it is, but well men/boys? Tell him he can go provided he finds the money before he goes, without using current resourses - ie he does overtime, finds a second job, does not use credit or any part of your current income.

We had to talk a young man we knew (extended family) out of booking a surprise trip abroad to celebrate paying off the roof repairs. He was out of work at the time so would have been using his gf's money to surprise her and she had spent many years trying to get him out of debt (different family approaches). We persuaded him she would much prefer a modest weekend in the Lake District with a few thoughtful touches.

Hope that helps (and does not offend) and if any other more experienced turtles can add any useful advice/ tactics.

As I said at the beginning of the challenge, all of you struggling to get OH's on board have my deepest sympathy. You are not alone because the turtles are with you, but you are 'it' for now.

FBO thanks for your contribution and wise words and :j:j:j NSD :j:j:j.

Thrifty so glad you had a good day.

Always remember, a good sense of humour helps (and always being able to see something funny in every situation.