Weight getting me down

Fireflyaway · 16 April 2017 at 9:49AM

Hazyjo I laughed when you said we have the same mum then read your post and realised its true!! I too have had the print out at the pool experience. Yes the oven one. Hear that all the time and mum gave me as special mat that collects the crumbs. Worse one was ' you didn't even lose that much weight for your wedding'. Personally I thought I looked OK. I was 10 stone 7 so not exactly huge. Now I'm thinking instead of seeing a beautiful bride my mum saw a fat disappointment. My mum, like yours, came to look after the cat last week. Came back to find all sorts of jobs had been done. I feel bad complaining as the intentions are meant in the best way, but can't help think its a dig at my lack of ability. My mum tells me things about her friends kids and I can just imagine her telling her friends how dirty my house is or how fat I've become. We are going away next month and I am dreading the looks of disapproval round the pool side and scrutiny of what's on my plate at dinner.
Everyone who has identified I need to do this for myself. Good point. I sometimes plan to lose weight just to get approval / stop the comments. I also sometimes think I will stay fat just to show I'm doing what I want and not being pressurised. Childish probably.
Fbaby - yes spot on I do need to plan exercise. I have now identified the days and will try to stick to it rain or shine. Otherwise its too easy to put it off.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. Its very helpful to know I'm not struggling alone.

hazyjo · 16 April 2017 at 10:13AM

Hugs. They're deffo the same lol!

The one I hear a lot from my mum is 'she's a great big girl' when referring to say a kid in a play with my all-singing-acting-dancing niece. Then I'll see the pics and realise she's just a maybe slightly tubby/puppy fat kinda 14 year old who's prob not even a size 10.

She went for lunch with friends once and said 'we had a cup of coffee each, and a GREAT BIG prawn cocktail'. Yes, I thought, very nice, but what main, then she went on to say that was it LOL.

There's no hope :rotfl:

Jx

Pollycat · 16 April 2017 at 10:31AM

emmatthews wrote: »

I am the heaviest I have ever been, the night I met my husband I was in a size 6 top and 8 jeans and now I'm more a 12/14.

I was a size 12 when I got married for the first time.

Now I wear size 12 trousers & a 14 top/dress.

But I'm nowhere near the same size as I was 43 years ago.

A proper size 10 skirt was a 22" waist and a 12 was 24" waist.
Tiny! Tiny! Tiny!
But it was the norm for many women at that time.
I still have a skirt from all those years ago and it really does measure 12" across the waistband.

Heavens knows what size my current 12 M&S trousers would have been back on the early 1970s. :eek:

meer53 · 16 April 2017 at 10:53AM

Pollycat wrote: »

I agree with this.

The OP's Mum is right - being overweight is bad for anyone's health.
The message is correct even if the way it's delivered isn't palatable.

The OP's mum tells her she should eat less.
Is that true?
Perhaps the OP could describe what she eats, when and how much.

I followed the Slimming World diet 14 years ago.
I didn't go to the classes, just used my friend's books.
I've always cooked most of my own meals from scratch so found it easy to adapt my own recipes.

I did exercise quite aggressively at the same time.

I lost just under 3 stone in 8 months and have kept all but half a stone off.
I still follow the 'red' and 'green' days so if I'm having pasta for dinner, I'll have a jacket potato with beans for lunch.
I still exercise most days for about an hour.

You need to want to lose the weight for yourself for it to work.

Slimming World has changed a lot and the Extra Easy plan allows unlimited carbs now. If you're addicted to carbs like me, it's great ! Their recipe books are also fantastic and encourage you to cook fresh healthy food.

My advice would be to buy their magazine, use the 7 day planner for just one week and see how easy it can be. It's my go to plan if i feel the need to cut down. The slimming world thread on here could help too, lots of support and tips. Plus, ignore the cutting comments from Mum ! She means well

Primrose · 16 April 2017 at 11:07AM

Not easy when you have five stone you need to lose but you have to start somewhere so you don,t feel overwhelmed.
So why not start with some simple steps and remind yourself daily that these are helping save your life. Every time you're tempted to scoff a biscuit or packet of crisps ask yourself what it might feel like in the throes of suffering a heart attack or having a foot amputated because of diabetes.

So write your weight and tomorrow's date on a piece of paper and stick it on the inside of your wardrobe or cupboard door where it is private to you.
Then:

1. Fast for 2 days a week (not necessarily successive days) Just drink soup or eat fruit. Stay hydrated though.
2. Cut back portion size on remaining days. Serve your food of smaller plates.
3. If you're too heavy to exercise too much, just walk as much as you can. If you watch TV get up and walk around or do squats whenever the adverts come on.

Yes, your Mum probably is disappointed in you but probably more fearful that in your current state, you will probabky die before she does. No parent should have to live constantly with that kind of anxiety.

Good luck. You can do this if you really set your mind to it!

elsien · 16 April 2017 at 11:18AM

You have to make the exercise times non-negotiable in your head.
I did couch to 5k until I hurt my knee, but because it's quite flexible and you can tell yourself if you miss a day you can do tomorrow instead it's easier to let things slide..
I've now signed up to an exercise class - didn't want to before because it seemed too rigid. But because it's a set time and day and I've told myself it's not optional then so far I'm sticking with it. Of course it being spring helps, but the idea is that by the time the cold dark nights return it'll be thoroughly ingrained as a habit. And by then I hope to have added more exercise as once a week isn't enough. But it's a start.
I know that with the best will in the world I am never going to get out of bed an hour earlier to exercise, so I'm not going to set myself up to fail by trying to add it to the morning routine. Evenings and weekends it is. So what works for you?

Pollycat · 16 April 2017 at 11:27AM

meer53 wrote: »

Slimming World has changed a lot and the Extra Easy plan allows unlimited carbs now. If you're addicted to carbs like me, it's great ! Their recipe books are also fantastic and encourage you to cook fresh healthy food.

My advice would be to buy their magazine, use the 7 day planner for just one week and see how easy it can be. It's my go to plan if i feel the need to cut down. The slimming world thread on here could help too, lots of support and tips. Plus, ignore the cutting comments from Mum ! She means well

Is this advice for me?
If it is, thanks.

I don't rigidly stick to SW diet, just really to maintain, my exercise also helps.

I like carbs but I'm also a protein fan so lots of meat, veg and a few potatoes works for me.
I'm not a snacker and don't eat biscuits, cake and very rarely chocolate. A 100gm bar of Green & Blacks dark chocolate can last me more than a month.

I found I used very little 'sins' when I was following the diet.

Pollycat · 16 April 2017 at 11:31AM

elsien wrote: »

You have to make the exercise times non-negotiable in your head.
I did couch to 5k until I hurt my knee, but because it's quite flexible and you can tell yourself if you miss a day you can do tomorrow instead it's easier to let things slide..
I've now signed up to an exercise class - didn't want to before because it seemed too rigid. But because it's a set time and day and I've told myself it's not optional then so far I'm sticking with it. Of course it being spring helps, but the idea is that by the time the cold dark nights return it'll be thoroughly ingrained as a habit. And by then I hope to have added more exercise as once a week isn't enough. But it's a start.
I know that with the best will in the world I am never going to get out of bed an hour earlier to exercise, so I'm not going to set myself up to fail by trying to add it to the morning routine. Evenings and weekends it is. So what works for you?

I think this is very true.

I do stretchy-type exercises with small weights then 30 minutes on my cross trainer in the spare bedroom then more exercises as a cool-down.

When I get up I put my exercise gear on - leggings, top, sports bra, trainers - and start in as I know I'll lose the will if I leave it later in the day.

prosaver · 16 April 2017 at 11:32AM

i got the "power of habits" from the library ..it was really good ..going to get it on kindle ..see if i can give you some examples.

i went in library and..asked
I heard you have a book on sarcasm. "
"You don't say. /s"
"That's the one. "

prosaver · 16 April 2017 at 11:37AM

ive started having one big meal a day ... drink water and coffees when hungry.
stopped having breakfast ..lost a inch around my waist in 20 days and 4 pounds ..what a drag..
still not going to be put off as t shirts fitting better.. and the summers coming.

Weight getting me down

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