MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

fittoon · 25 August 2007 at 8:21AM

Has Bill done his homework on weddings in the Maldives? We have just returned from there and it was explained to us that only Moslem weddings are allowed. As it is a totally Moslem counntry, there is no one to celebrate any other sort. certainly all the brochures I have seen offer honeymoons and `renewal of vows' but no weddings.

planet200 · 25 August 2007 at 12:47PM

I have had a similar situation where I was expected to pay for my own bridesmaid's outfit for my best friend's wedding. By the time I'd paid for the shoes and a dress all chosen by the bride my bill was £400. It was an outfit I could never wear again (and is still stuck in my wardrobe).

I also had to fork out for an expensive room in the 'castle' they had chosen to have their wedding. Why do people think this is acceptable? They wouldn't expect me to spend £400 on a wedding present, so why should I have to spend that to attend the wedding?

My brother is also still paying for a 5-night stag do in Barcelona before his best friend's wedding. Yes, he had a great time but still has that expensive hangover.

minimoocow · 26 August 2007 at 9:15PM

Why are other people's weddings so expensive?!!!! It really annoys me - especially when you are EXPECTED to do the Stag/hen do as well and have a kitty arghhh. :mad:

When we got married we knew our families would have murdered us if we had gone abroad and done it without them. As neither family lived close to us we decided to get married at my childhood home (so it was only local for my parents).

We knew people would have to travel and pay for a hotel so we got deals on the hotels close by and sent these out with the invies but when we found out that the local travel lodge was doing family rooms for only £28 we phoned around our friends to let them know (I think we could probably have filled it that night!!!)

As bridesmaids, best men etc were family (and still at school/uni) our parents sorted them out and paid for their outfits but we paid for the ushers gear and agreed with them that we'd pay half their hotel which seemed fair given they had to come down the night before for the rehersal.

Also people can't attend for a variety of reasons - our lives don't revolve around the happy couple!!! Two of our guests had the audacity to have babies around the same time!!!

So I guess that's a long winded way of saying I think the people getting married should ensure it is affordable for their guests AND not get offended if some can't come for whatever reason.

MMC

davidgreenmoor · 27 August 2007 at 9:59AM

Ben should explain his circumstances (viz. flooding etc.) and give Bill the option of paying for him, or Ben could offer to pay for the flight if Bill carries all other expenses (accomodation, meals, drinks, etc.).

In any case, why is Bill paying for everyone else except for Ben?

buggsy_2 · 27 August 2007 at 9:05PM

Of course Ben should go to Bills wedding, they are best friends after all, besides there are some things money can't buy for everything else there is Mastercard ;o) :money:

Croc_Mad · 21 September 2007 at 12:38PM

If you're planning to marry abroad, why not have a reception party over here before you go, so everyone can enjoy the celebrations, then have your wedding in the sun with just your closest friends and family.

It'll probably work out cheaper and it'd be more intimate.

harmonyineverything · 15 November 2007 at 11:16AM

Ben should explain to Bill his financial circumstances, after all they are supposed to be besxt mates and i am sure that Bill would not want Ben to suffer for the resto of the year. As Bill is paying for everyone else's accomodation, i wonder why he is not paying for Ben's, perhaps it is because he thinks Ben can afford it. Either way, it is never good to put yourself into debt for somebody else so if i were Ben i would have to say a regretful "I'm sorry, i would love to come but simply cannot afford it".

halia · 20 November 2007 at 11:32AM

no, he shouldn't go.
We got married in the UK and we knew that even the cost of petrol and overnight accomodation in the hotel would be a bit much for some people so we made it clear that it was our choice to get married in this location but we understood if people couldn't attend. We only invited a few people and didn't put any pressure of about dressing up etc, just a small quiet civil ceremony in a small hotel in a lovely bit of the dales.
A wedding day is special but I dont' see the point of going into debt for my OWN wedding let alone anyone elses!

MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

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