Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

onomatopoeia99 · 12 October 2016 at 1:00PM

tea_lover wrote: »

My idea of misbehaving these days is not washing up or something wild like that..... my carousing days are well and truly gone.

Know the feeling, though I'm more in the category of "not loading the dishwasher until I need to run it" or "staying up reading the internet when I should be in bed."

I suppose I should add "not finishing my homework" to the list this week, but I did lose a big chunk of the weekend to work so I have an excuse (better than "the dog ate it" anyway :rotfl: )

jobbingmusician · 12 October 2016 at 7:48PM

Oooh look, WaS!

A game just for you!

(And yes, I agree they are pan chocolat, not croissants)

http://www.sporcle.com/games/sproutcm/sloth_not_croissant

elsien · 12 October 2016 at 8:18PM

How's things going this week, Code? Any better?

Waves_and_Smiles · 12 October 2016 at 10:40PM

I'm home! WaSp and I are exhausted so going to bed but we had a wonderful time! I got to cuddle a skunk and a royal python among other animals! More tomorrow, hopefully with photos!

codemonkey · 12 October 2016 at 10:53PM

Still struggling a bit but doing my best to power through, whilst hoping for a lottery win.

I have been making my tentacles with the worst sewing machine in the world, so they'll probably fall apart after a few hours. I have only made 6 because the character only has 6 and I can't be bothered making 8. Just need to attach them to my running belt. I hate sewing.

WaS, that's brilliant about the day out and the animals.

onomatopoeia99 · 12 October 2016 at 11:04PM

code, pleasepleaseplease can we have a picture of the costume when it's finished?

codemonkey · 12 October 2016 at 11:14PM

I'll see what I can do. If it ends up rubbish, maybe not.

faerielight · 12 October 2016 at 11:22PM

Ipeguin

3

2

1

t's not gone well today, the care agency has ordered an urgent care review, and there's only 1 way that is going to go, as I had a review 2 months ago and that was for a whole year. They told me that they were recording the conversation, it made me feel like I was being arrested, and they said that 2 carers had reported me, the only other one I can think of was the carer I liked the most, who was the one how bad vibed me on sun and told me that I'd been reprted for my friends behaviour.
I asked the manager if this catastrophic chain of events was anything to do with me and my behaviour, they said I has never been reported by a carer unto sat. I acknowledged how hard it must be to provide care for someone as mentally ill as me, and asked if my anxiety, and crying somtimes when depressed is the reason they want me out, but she said no, as they are traied to deal with mental illness. Shat she did say was that rapport had broken down with me and my supervisor, as I have had lots of arguements this last 6 months to get them to change the time of my care to later so I can access the MH centre, she agreed that things had become "fraught" and that communication had broken down, but that that was not the reason that they want to get me out and said that it was how "abusive " my friend was.. I told her I fully supported her reason for reporting but begged them not to tar me with the same brush, but she said the damage had been done, and they didn't accept that I froze, they wanted to to have got my friend out, but I just froze.
And because me and my home has been deemed unsafe, 2 carers will come to monitor me until I find out the outcome of the care review.
I am wracking my brains for anything else i might have done. I had that issue with male carer who was cutting my call down every day and telling me the office had told him he could, so there were a few tearful convos with them as I didn't know who to believe, but finally found out that he had lied. but there's been no other issues with carers other than the timing of the care.

I am terrifed about losing my care, I don't know whats going to happen but this is not going away any time soon.
And with my friend,she refuses to believe that she is in the wrong, wqont write an appology and is saying this is all on me and my behavious, that they've wanted to get rid of me for months because of my mental health, but thewy can't on those grounds cvos that would be illegal, so they using this as a reason to get me out. She says this is my mess, that it is nothing to do with her, and that this is all my fault. she says she will never get over being accused of being abusive, and that our friendship withh never recover. I stuidly begged her for not hating me for this, not to shoot the messengewr, but she says she never get over being accused of this, and how much anger she has for me now.

I can't think straight, I don't know if what she is saying is true, it must be true because I'm such a nightmare person.I think my friend mught be right.

I can't make sense of this.I dont know what else to do to make it ok with the agency and my friend. i feel like the wrost oerson in the wrold

whitewing · 13 October 2016 at 12:10AM

Two carers coming together will be good to keep things safe for everyone for now.

Urgent care review being recorded will be good because it will be on record. Perhaps at some point in the future you could use a transcript of it to help you understand how you react in a stressful situation and how you could make it easier for yourself and others. I had never realised that my stuff was bpd because I had no idea that other people didn't experience such quickly shifting emotions. It could also help you understand your friend better as I assume that situation will be mentioned. Try not too take the recording personally. It will potentially be difficult for them to trust you because they won't necessarily be able to read you correctly. That's not something to be down about. It is what it is.

Don't worry about your friend. Stay friends if you want but don't yourself up because you can't make her understand. All she needs to know for now is you weren't impressed.

The terror of losing care is surely just part of the bpd. I keep thinking that I will lose my job for various reasons (although I have done nothing wrong). Part of me almost wants to make things worse so that what I fear happens now and I don't have to dread it any more. I then think, time to go to sleep - you can't do anything about it now. Saves being reckless and impulsive.

You will be okay, faerie, there just needs to be a new way of doing things. If you need care, I can't see how they will suddenly withdraw it without sorting something else. All will work out in the end - it always does. Most of the rubbish in my life is in my head - the way I grew making certain reactions more likely and it is taking time to unlearn and amend them. Give yourself a break and cuddle your cats.

faerielight · 13 October 2016 at 1:24AM

WW your post makes so much sense.. my communication with any person or event that is stressful makes me go into panic mode,I get hysterical and sry,and I'msure they find that challenging sat times. Regarding my friend it's the first time I've ever stood my ground and maintainted that I'mupset with her, and I didn't appologise today so that's progress! I'm off to bed now.. I desperately need to sleep.. thanks so much WW

Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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