The Great 'What you wish you'd known when you had a baby' Hunt 2012

Alias_Omega · 18 October 2012 at 10:08AM

The majority of changing tables are in womens toilets.

Dont be shy to knock on the door and ask to come in when they have finished..

(Note - to do the above, you must have baby with you..)

JimmyTheWig · 18 October 2012 at 10:22AM

Alias_Omega wrote: »

The majority of changing tables are in womens toilets.

I'm not convinced this is true these days.
Often they are combined baby change / disabled toilet but can't think of anywhere I've been in the last 9 years where there hasn't been baby change facilities for men but there has for women. And I'd probably remember because chances are I would have complained about it!

[Though I agree it gives you an implied right to go in there if that is the situation.]

cherylypop · 18 October 2012 at 4:37PM

With a 9 week old baby these are my little snippets of advce:
*only havevisitors when youre ready (if you have them all at once straight away they'll soon stop visitng so much and you'll find yourselves home alone!)
*dont do too much too soon or try to do much in a day-babies make stuff take a long time
+take people up on their offers to watch baby/do housework/cook-they probably actually enjy helping out (especially if it involves cuddling baby)
*work as a team so you both get to do things you enjoy sometimes-this has helped keep me sane and feel like myself even though its only 3-4 hours a week away from baby*if bfing speak to a cllr or go to a course-its hard (mAybe not for everyone but it is for me)-its made out to be natuural and easy but ive encountered so many problems. Also breast feeding grouos can help you feel more positive and confident (sure start groups and services are great and dont judge)
*if bfing get lots of towels and muslins at the ready (nothing worse than baby falling asleep on the breast at 3Am only to find you have to change him/her (and wake him/her up.
*listen to peoples advice/stories-disregard what you dont like the sound of and take on board the bits you do. Dont compare youfr baby to others (hard not to but is not going to make you feel good)
*People who think its all delightful and have children who are perfect are probably lying/not telling you about the bad stuff (and we could all do that but the best mums are those that are honest)-surely noone enjoys all of it!? But enjoying the good bits makes it feel worth it.

anyway good luck Mr and Mrs lewis
ps. Coliccy babies-dr browns bottles, colief (expensive but sooo worht it) and a sling with a good cd to dance around to with baby during those horrid evenings are the only way through (and hv/midwife wont tell you that-jjst they grow out of it at 3 months!)

sly_dog_jonah · 19 October 2012 at 12:51PM

Don't think this has been mentioned previously and I guess only applies to mums (or dads) planning to go back to work after maternity/paternity leave and therefore requiring childcare:

If you can afford to, sign up to childcare vouchers as soon as possible after the baby has been born. You can then build up a credit of vouchers to use when Mum's maternity (or Dad's paternity) leave finishes.

Depending on the cost of childcare and the number of days you'll be working, the amount you can save in vouchers almost certainly won't cover the cost of childcare, so to ease the pain it makes sense to have built up a credit of vouchers before they actually start nursery.

Both parents can sacrifice their salary (even during maternity/paternity leave) to earn the vouchers, but check whether your employer's voucher provider enforces a voucher expiry date or not. Read the relevant guide on MSE first too, as salary sacrificed for vouchers can affect Child Tax Credits if I recall correctly.

Second tip: If you have private medical cover as a benefit at work, there may be no cost (or benefit-in-kind tax liability) for adding your new born to the policy. Generally employer PMI schemes only allow you to add new members within a short period after 'life events' such as birth, adoption, marriage, or otherwise you might have to wait until the annual policy 'window' for this. For example, adding my wife when we married did add a monthly cost to upgrade my single policy to a family policy, but adding our first born and shortly our 2nd baby did not cost any extra, but had to be done within 4 weeks of birth otherwise I'd have had to wait until the annual 'window'.

Alias_Omega · 19 October 2012 at 3:16PM

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I'm not convinced this is true these days.
Often they are combined baby change / disabled toilet but can't think of anywhere I've been in the last 9 years where there hasn't been baby change facilities for men but there has for women. And I'd probably remember because chances are I would have complained about it!

[Though I agree it gives you an implied right to go in there if that is the situation.]

One that sticks in my mind was the theme park near Retford. I seem to remember having to change the little one on the back of the toilet system.

I've had a few places in the past where there have been no easy access to baby change facilities (ie in the gents toilet) and often find myself trying to find an attendant to open the door.

Large shopping centres can be an example of this, the doors are usually locked to keep drug users out. By the time i have waited to get someone down to open the door (note i do not have a Radar Key either), the deed could have already been done and im on my way..

JimmyTheWig · 19 October 2012 at 3:20PM

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Large shopping centres can be an example of this, the doors are usually locked to keep drug users out. By the time i have waited to get someone down to open the door (note i do not have a Radar Key either), the deed could have already been done and im on my way..

Oh, are you saying that in these places there may be a gents with no changing facilities, a ladies with a baby change table and a locked disabled toilet/baby change room?
Hadn't thought about that...

Pinzy · 20 October 2012 at 12:28PM

A nail brush for getting the poop out from under your fingernails!

Another bit of advice I thought was good (though included with an addition from another dad).

My advice: Put up a poster in the nursery that says:
Hungry
Wet
Tired
Gassy
Cold

I was so sleep-deprived that I was not able to hold all three of those items in my head at once. "Well, he's either hungry, wet, or tired, but he just woke up and I just changed him... so what the fark is he crying about?" I called this list my "crib sheet."

FTFM. If the baby awoke at night, I figured out that if I eliminated gassy (belly massage and football hold), cold (if it had squirmed out of swaddle/clothes) and wet (diaper check) I could avoid unnecessarily waking momma for food. Beyond those three, it is boob time.

Even I think "surely I'd remember the basics", but so tired yesterday I forgot the name of my colleague that sits next to me at work, and has done so for a year! Had to say "what's your name again?"

Complete blank.

Oh and someone else said "try and make sure you shower every day, just helps you feel human". I'd second that, it may seem to most that "well of course you would" but sometimes you just don't feel like it, especially if you're feeling miserable due to hormones or generally being susceptible to depression. Having a shower really does help.

zipman23 · 22 October 2012 at 6:30AM

When baby is abit older don't let them sleep in your bed...you'll never get rid of them!!

MSE_Sarah · 13 June 2017 at 10:51AM

Please keep adding to this thread if you have any other thoughts on what you wish you'd known when you had a baby.

MSE Sarah

emsi_b · 4 October 2018 at 3:37PM

There's a difference between knowing it will be hard, and understanding it. I knew it would be hard, everyone said as much, but it's an entirely different thing when you're living it.
If you think you're feeling down during pregnancy, speak to someone. At the very least, you'll be more aware of what to look for post-partum and where to get help from.
Ask every health professional for help. I saw my midwife every fortnight, had counselling and I've seen a health visitor every fortnight. There might be a set number of appointments, but they'll always see you more often if you need it.
Get a sling- a cheap one off eBay if you don't know if you'll use it, but better to have a way of making a cup of tea and having some peace if baby cries all the time and you're home alone.

The Great 'What you wish you'd known when you had a baby' Hunt 2012

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