On-line dating experiences?
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I do feel that my answer to the education thing disappointed Gavin as he wanted me to admit that I was a gold digger or something :rotfl:
Not at all, I was just curious as to your reason as it's not an uncommon request and I've never really understood why. Even if you had suggested a financial reason I wouldn't have given a negative response. I wouldn't particularly wish to date someone who was a low earner so it would be a bit hypocritical of me to label someone who felt the same.
Besides I'd consider a gold digger as someone who wanted a partner who earned a lot more than them and basically support them. I really don't think you fit into this category.
Possibly, but my initial thought would be that education was more indicative of class & intellect.
Well that was my other thought, or maybe they felt someone with a degree would be more interested in more intellectual subjects and debating in general.
Personally I don't think a degree guarantees a certain salary, a level of intellect or class, especially in the modern age. However there is probably a correlation between these so I can somewhat understand why someone would employ it in order to filter out a long list of potential dates. It still seems like something you'd require from an employee more than a potential partner though.0 -
From a woman's point of view, a guy (and this is general, again) asking for feedback would usually use it as a way to either shame the woman who'd rejected him or try and convince her that she's wrong and should go out with him. You know, it never occurred to me to ask the guys who rejected me for feedback. I wonder if it's a man thing.
Just personal opinion, to me if I said why didnt you like me that could be trying to convince her, and wording as well such as if I said "what did I do wrong" can go either way but most likely be seen as wanting pity.
If it was feedback its just down to personal opinion.0 -
IIRC, one of the dating sites had a salary question on it. Don't know if that's still a thing?0
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men on the other hand need to put a lot of effort in to get a response unless they are of the highest looks and very confident but then they wouldn't need to use a dating site to meet someone
You seem to be assuming that men are just looking to meet someone, anyone, doesn't really matter who they are. If that's the case, you may be right that a very attractive and confident man doesn't need to use a dating site.
But if they want to find a particularly interesting person, and haven't found such a person in their usual social circles, they are in pretty much the same position as anyone else.Let's settle this like gentlemen: armed with heavy sticks
On a rotating plate, with spikes like Flash Gordon
And you're Peter Duncan; I gave you fair warning0 -
You seem to be assuming that men are just looking to meet someone, anyone, doesn't really matter who they are. If that's the case, you may be right that a very attractive and confident man doesn't need to use a dating site.
But if they want to find a particularly interesting person, and haven't found such a person in their usual social circles, they are in pretty much the same position as anyone else.
Actually not as such or it should be more how fine a definition you look for.
A lonely average looking man may of exhausted their options in normal life and turn to the internet, they may do fine finding someone online but compared to that much better looking person their odds will be far lower, just as that better looking person likely has no problems finding someone in everyday life they may just be picky.
Theres so many variations in there, but so often I have heard from women even on this very site complain about the type of men who respond to them, being players and just after one thing and also thinking they can get away with it due to their looks.
Theres genuine people from all types of looks, financial backgrounds etc
On a seperate note I have had discussions with people before who take offense to dating shows on tv, most people on the normal ones seem to have no issues with a normal date and just want to be on tv, and the ones that do are lumped together on a show like "undatables"0 -
Actually not as such or it should be more how fine a definition you look for.
A lonely average looking man may of exhausted their options in normal life and turn to the internet, they may do fine finding someone online but compared to that much better looking person their odds will be far lower, just as that better looking person likely has no problems finding someone in everyday life they may just be picky.
Not really sure what you're getting at.
Internet dating allows you to approach vastly more people than you would ever meet in real life. For a less attractive/confident man it means they have more chance of finding someone. For a more attractive/confident man it means they have a greater choice of who they want to meet, and they are no longer restricted to the people they might meet in real life - which is the point I was making above.Let's settle this like gentlemen: armed with heavy sticks
On a rotating plate, with spikes like Flash Gordon
And you're Peter Duncan; I gave you fair warning0 -
Sadly, I have heard this said before by friends who have then hidden/downplayed their achievements to avoid that issue.In the past, my level of education has been an issue for some guys and I wanted to avoid that too.
Z
I agree with AubreyMac that I would expect it to be an indicator of ability to hold a conversation or of background rather then pure earning potential. But lets be honest - there are some women who do want to be kept and explicitly seek out a high earner and some men who accept this and write their profiles accordingly. (Applies to other gender combinations too...) Equally, there are plenty of people who don't want to end up keeping an idle/!!!!less partner so will look for evidence of independent earning ability on a par with their own.Wash your Knobs and Knockers... Keep the Postie safe!0 -
Not really sure what you're getting at.
Internet dating allows you to approach vastly more people than you would ever meet in real life. For a less attractive/confident man it means they have more chance of finding someone. For a more attractive/confident man it means they have a greater choice of who they want to meet, and they are no longer restricted to the people they might meet in real life - which is the point I was making above.
That isn't what you said, you said I assumed men are just looking to meet anyone.
A shorter way of saying what I did is that the waters are blurred, though can be lumped into categories
That was the point I was making
Anyway heres some things that have happened to me over the years
I don't internet date anymore purely as I am useless at selling myself or if I get a response no idea how to keep a conversation flowing, the three dates I had over the years were disasterous, one was when I was in my first year of university, we got on really well over chat and had a few phone conversations, she agreed to meet me in the student union bar and though the conversation flowed she didn't seem to be very enthusiastic she didn't respond to any messages after that and blocked my number, I didn't pester her I waited and sent maybe 2 in the following week like, "hope you got home ok" and "hey how are you today?"
Another was like 3 years later, this woman who was 10 years older than me, profile pics were 5-10 years out of date and though she was a lovely woman there was no spark there, we did chat online after that though.
Third was this girl I met on POF, she lived 40 miles away and was like 4 years younger than me, we got on very well at first, video chatting, she would tell me what a wonderful guy I was and after a few weeks she decided she wanted me to watch her sleep.
She kept putting off meets even though I said I would travel all the way up stating she lived with parents and worked, eventually told me she really liked me and we arranged a meet, turned out she had about 3 hours sleep that day and was too tired to stay for more than a hour though insisted on putting her arms around me and giving me a kiss and cuddling me when her bus was waiting to arrive.
Then she went quiet for a few days and then her MSN profile changed to "in love with X" (a guy) turns out the reason she had 3 hours sleep was she was awake all night chatting to this guy, not just that but days later she moved 500 miles away to live with this guy she had never met and only chatted to for a week online!
So she was willing to move literally 500 miles to go with this guy she had never met but wasn't willing to travel 40 miles to see me.
To make matters worse a week later the new boyfriend video messages me from her account and tells me to keep away from her as shes his now and "the best man won" and then insults towards me like I am a weirdo, loser, will never meet anyone etc.0 -
A person's job doesn't bother me. I've come across plenty of people who have high level positions earning lots of money and they are horrible to people lower down the chain than them. Money matters for nothing in my opinion if you're selfish and don't care about others and their feelings. You don't have to have a high level job to be intelligent either. I wouldn't discount someone because they hadn't been to uni like me. You don't know what someone has been through and what's lead them down a particular path until you talk to them.
One guy I was texting thought very highly of himself because all he went on about was how busy he was with his job and barely had time to ask me how I was. He even sent me a screenshot of his laptop one Saturday night to prove how busy he was - snore!0 -
I didn’t go down the online dating route because it wasn’t about but I did use chatrooms for a while (when they were a thing). I spoke to some lovely people, some not so lovely people and some downright sickos but one nice one stuck out and we chatted online, on the phone and met a few weeks later (despite not exchanging photos and him living 150 miles away).
It’s our 16th wedding anniversary this week so it does work."Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" - W. C. Field.0
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