Too many holidays?

hazyjo · 13 June 2017 at 4:09PM

Bloody hell how many days' holiday do you both get a year? I struggle to fit in two holidays, each a week long (I get 25 days off a year)! There's always things to take time off for.

I do think you both have to want the same holidays or be willing to take them with other people if you don't agree. And yes I do think it's a deal breaker if you have to compromise. If my OH only wanted to do say action, skiing or long haul holidays, I'd not be going with him (thankfully it's his idea of hell too). A chilled week in Spain with tapas, Sangria and some mild sun is enough for us middle-agers!

It doesn't sound like it's just about the money really, sounds like you want different types of holidays too.

I don't think there's such a thing as 'too many holidays' if you can afford them, want them, and have enough hols to do them. Doesn't sound like you fit all that criteria though.

Jx

Spendless · 13 June 2017 at 5:53PM

You find a balance. You decide on a budget. The amount may vary year on year. Some years it might be a big hol, some years it might be a city break.

We've had years where we've had big hols and no home improvements, years where there's been home improvements and a very small cheap hol, years where there's been neither. This year we are managing both a big hol and an expensive home improvement. It's taken us 20 years to get to this stage, 18 of them married.

Without compromise, you are going to run into issues and possibly they'll start leaking not just into the area of holidays.

goodwithsaving · 13 June 2017 at 6:17PM

Do the renovations. I know it's hard to say no, but your house is your most valuable asset, look after it.
It sounds like the age gap is larger than it is on paper. If you feel like this now, can you imagine ever living together? Consider what you want from life. Do what's right.

sooty&sweep · 13 June 2017 at 8:55PM

Hi

You need to agree a balance. Have you spoken to her about some of the fabulous places you'd like to visit ? Why not agree a savings plan for one of them ?

If you can afford to over pay your mortgage 2 or 3 times over then personally I think you should reduce that and use some of that money to do your house up, enjoy yourself buy your luxury items or go on holiday.

I'm not saying don't save some of your money but also use some of it to do things you want to do.

Sorry to be a bit morbid but you don't know how long you'll live. I know of someone that was very sensible with money and saved lots of money. Unfortunately they then became ill & died before they were able to do all the things they'd wanted to do.

Live life & enjoy it !

Jen

Gavin83 · 13 June 2017 at 8:55PM

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Holidays are great but at 28 there is plenty of time.

Is there? Who's to say the OP won't be dead in 10 years or struck with a serious illness that makes travel impossible?

OP, if you were to die in 10 years would you rather have experienced a holiday or paid a bit more off on your mortgage? I know a number of people who have saved hard for retirement and then died a year later. I also know someone else who has gone without to save for later life and has now contracted a serious life altering disease that will kill them one day. I'm sure they'd have rather lived their life differently.

Obviously it's all about compromise, enjoy yourself but also build your future. Just don't look back on your life realising you haven't done anything.

Personally me and my girlfriend went travelling for a year, spent enough for a house deposit. Don't regret it for a second. I can buy a house at any point, got the whole of my life to do that but I've always got those memories.

[Deleted User] · 13 June 2017 at 9:01PM

Gavin83 wrote: »

Is there? Who's to say the OP won't be dead in 10 years or struck with a serious illness that makes travel impossible?

Not to mention you can't really take kids on a hiking trip to Machu Picchu. Start a family and wave goodbye to adventerous (or affordable) holidays. You wave goodbye to travelling as a couple for 16 years.

I believe the phrase "Youth is wasted on the young" may be appropriate. The OP's girlfriend is just trying to enjoy being young. Some restraint will help, but I think house renovations and 'stuff' come second after experiences.

balletshoes · 13 June 2017 at 9:08PM

dcouponzzzz wrote: »

If only it were that simple :rotfl: if your OH wants to plan a holiday to a log cabin in Scotland for her bday and you said no, I need a new fridge... How would that go down? Haha

if my OH wants to plan a birthday treat then my OH can pay for it. if i needed a fridge i'd be saying sorry i need to pay for a fridge, maybe the log cabin in scotland can be next year,s holiday plan darling?

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth · 13 June 2017 at 9:35PM

She's a cash cow. Get rid.

Kynthia · 13 June 2017 at 9:43PM

Balance and compromise are the way to go.

It's great you are financially mature but you need to balance 'saving for tomorrow' with 'enjoying life now as you don't know what's around the corner'.

Decide what you budget is for holidays at the beginning of each year (or 6 monthly). Then discuss what you'll do with that budget together and she's obviously welcome to do additional breaks without you. Then there's the challenge for some additional breaks to be bargains. My OH and I would have a foreign holiday in a decent hotel, a nice long weekend somewhere and then a couple of bargain breaks for very little money. For example we'd collect the Sun vouchers and get a caravan in another part of the UK for £50 each for 4 nights and self cater with just one or two meals out.

Lunar_Eclipse · 13 June 2017 at 10:03PM

I'm jealous! I remember those days fondly. And my husband is now like you in terms of prioritising other things which frankly is dull and boring and I'm sure one of us will die young before we've really lived, though I try to live every day as though it's my last. Because one day that will happen.

Personally I'd enjoy this carefree time in your life, because if she is the one and you go on to marry and have kids within 5-10 years, life will naturally change big time! We're currently in teenage exam phase, university applications, driving licenses etc. It's great, but it comes round so quickly, and though fit and (touch wood) healthy, I'm not young anymore.

I don't think you're having too many holidays either. Weekends away in this country are just that, a weekend break, absolutely lovely, but not really a holiday. And you don't need a new fridge!

Can you agree on a compromise?

Too many holidays?

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