Too many holidays?

onlyroz

You need to allocate a sensible annual budget for holidays and then decide between you how that should be spent and where you should go. If she wants to do more than this then she can fund it herself and travel with her mates.

leespot

onlyroz wrote: »

You need to allocate a sensible annual budget for holidays and then decide between you how that should be spent and where you should go. If she wants to do more than this then she can fund it herself and travel with her mates.

She funds it herself anyway - she isn't asking her partner to pay for her.

mildredalien

I mean it sounds like you'd also be up for going on all sorts of holidays - if you had the disposable income to do so. But you don't, as you have other things that are more of a priority to you. That's totally fine!

Personally I'm with your OH, I'd love to be on holiday every month... I'm also a realist and not a millionaire, so it doesn't happen! I also really value holidays as a complete break from work which can be quite stressful. My husband isn't that bothered and has less leave than me, so we talk each year about what holidays we might have and what we can afford. It's not a dealbreaker in our relationship that we have different ideas about holidays, but we've reached good compromises over the years.

There does need to be compromise between you. Holidays can be a priority if you have disposable income, not everything has to be 'sensible' - but obviously don't go into debt for it, and don't make yourself unhappy giving up other things you want. You need a frank conversation about how much disposable income you each have, what your priorities are and how to find a balance you are both happy with.

Teacher2

One of the most fundamental polarities in personality types and behaviour is that of attitude to money and spending and you two seem to differ widely.

Your problem is compounded by the fact that your OH has no real experience of money management as she is living at home being subsidised by her parents and regards all of the money, which , she, an adult, should be spending on living and paying her way, as pocket money much as a child does. She is not living in the real world and is playing a game of emotional blackmail to force others to bolster her illusions and comply with her wish to live in a 'forever holiday' mode. This is totally compatible with seeming to be an otherwise 'nice' person.

However, the real test of how nice she actually is will come when she is challenged and has to give way to something she doesn't want to do. That is a test of maturity. Can she compromise?

I agree with the advice given above about compromise. Personally, I am totally with you in your inclination to pay down/off the mortgage. (This is entirely sensible as it will free up thousands of pounds which will then be free to be spent on holidays and treats.) However, an agreement to save some money and spend some, but not all of it, on holidays is fairer if you want to stay together with this partner.

I would have thought that one main holiday and a few mini breaks per year would be in order. Unless you are Princess Beatrice and someone else will always pay you can't live perpetually on holiday on an ordinary salary.

DarrenM1

Man up. Tell her straight!

Foot down. Job done...

julie777

Just be glad you have disposable income to argue over.
Our budget for holiday has been £300 a year recently - for 2 of us.
But lots of people I know never go away at all so imagine that.
I really believe having more money than you need can cause all sorts of headaches and yours is a case in point.

DUKE

Oh Lord, for one moment there I thought you were Mr Duke moaning about me :eek: He loves expensive gadgets, I love holz, & we frequently come to blows over it.

Where do you go on holiday for it to cost that much? I've had some amazing holz but I usually manage to get a good deal by constantly looking, it's my life's work You could try looking together, or even booking yourself if you find the right deal.

leespot

julie777 wrote: »

Just be glad you have disposable income to argue over.
Our budget for holiday has been £300 a year recently - for 2 of us.
But lots of people I know never go away at all so imagine that.
I really believe having more money than you need can cause all sorts of headaches and yours is a case in point.

It isn't really a case in point at all - at which point do you decide you have more than you need?? Your disposable income is your business - if you feel you have too little, that is up to you to deal with.

donny_jim

You have to stand your ground, I would say 1 holiday a year is ok, but you both have to agree on were and how much. If she won't listen then I think it's time to move on.

donny_jim

Or go on her own. The boredom might bring her too her senses.