Changing habits, wanting freedom

JWPopps · 9 January 2017 at 10:59AM

Gosh that does sound crazy!! Hope everything gets sorted, I know from having young people stay with me that life can be pretty overwhelming when you're that age and trying to deal with stress at home and while you study... sometimes a break from the norm puts things in perspective, and sometimes the young person realises they're better out of the situation.

The world needs more people like your mum!

jvr · 9 January 2017 at 11:19AM

So my sis is going to see his mum today and hopefully get some idea what the hell is going on! My mum rang his school today and had bit of a panic when hadn't registered in... he is in the 'wrong' crowd of friend and apparently his mum was pulled into meetings end of last term. Luckily he was just late but had gone in and the school will also be contacting his mum. Still all quite anxious but my mum works for the Methodist church and when asked if she could have today off they also told her that if he stays to let them know as would have access to the benevolent fund. Her work are amazing and supportive and that could make such a huge difference as needs winter clothes.
As for bike got in safe and sound this morning! Beginning to suspect I did patch up the tyre okay it just wasn't pumped up enough so felt flat on the ground....! Oooops! Brought my breakfast to work and left overs from last night for lunch. May need to pick up a few things for dinner tonight but couple of quid at most. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand breathe!

Honey_Bear · 10 January 2017 at 10:27AM

Well done for sticking with it and on the puncture that you fixed after all, Jvr. How wonderful of your mum's employers to offer to help, too. We forget how kind most other people are.

jvr · 10 January 2017 at 11:53AM

So his mum has said he doesn't know what to do with him anymore so doesn't want him back... going to call SS today as they have still not been in touch! Feel very anxious about what could potentially be taken on but we shall see.
Had interview today for different role within my team. Would be dealing with some difficult people but potentially 3.5 grand more a year.... plus on call overtime money.
Spent some more money in shops yesterday on food, the lemon meringue pie was not a necessity but sis has given me some money to cover her food which covers the extras

MistyMountainTop · 10 January 2017 at 8:12PM

I hope things work out ok, that poor boy! Your mum sounds lovely xxx

JWPopps · 10 January 2017 at 9:27PM

Oh wow that's so stressful, I hope it all gets sorted soon... and SS need to get their finger out! Not that they're exactly flush with cash and well resourced, though.

Hope you get the new role!

Honey_Bear · 11 January 2017 at 3:22PM

jvr wrote: »

So his mum has said he doesn't know what to do with him anymore so doesn't want him back... going to call SS today as they have still not been in touch! Feel very anxious about what could potentially be taken on but we shall see.
Had interview today for different role within my team. Would be dealing with some difficult people but potentially 3.5 grand more a year.... plus on call overtime money.
Spent some more money in shops yesterday on food, the lemon meringue pie was not a necessity but sis has given me some money to cover her food which covers the extras

Your mother may be a great deal more effective in dealing with the young lad's problems for lots of different reasons, but if he does become too much for her to handle, hopefully social services will step up to the plate. As to them not having been in touch, I imagine they are up to their arrises in crisis management after Christmas. Always a deeply stressful time of year for dysfunctional families which his clearly is.

Good luck with the interview. If you got the payrise, would your OH understand doesn't mean spends again, but rather payback time.

SpekySquarehead · 11 January 2017 at 4:11PM

Well said Honey Bear.

jvr · 11 January 2017 at 4:13PM

Thanks guys my mum is awesome! We are taking an 'it takes a village approach' haha. Off to buy school shirts for him tomorrow as he enough for two weeks apparently.. which we discovered meant he had one with him and one at home and can't even really go there to fetch it as situation stands. My OH is gonna see him tomorrow night and play xbox and prob go under ware shopping as I think the poor boy would die of embarrassment going with any of us. Been researching different clubs etc that he might enjoy for some good old 'structured' fun, that we will know where he is and who with. Also been looking at possible apprenticeships and courses he could do next year as he is not doing well at school and I wonder if knowing that he has these options and to do it he needs good behaviour, punctuality etc. might help him work towards that.
So far turned up on time after school each night so that is good but I don't think he realises at moment he isn't welcome home... will cross that bridge when we come to it....
He grew up allowed to do whatever he wanted while his older sister wasn't allowed any freedom... think he will get quite a shock when her curfew is later than his and he will be expected to do equal amount of housework!

Interview went well... its just wait and see now. Yes will sell it to OH that it means paying debts quicker and THEREFORE saving and able to go to SA sooner.... that's quite a motivator!

joeyjimbles · 11 January 2017 at 6:48PM

Wow, no wonder you've been too tired to take your make up off!!
Your support to that young man and his sister is really kind - your Mum, your OH and your sister are showing them another kind of family behaviour which will help no end, I'm sure. Perhaps you know this, but supermarkets do really quite decent underwear which is much cheaper and similar quality to M&S, Next etc.

Changing habits, wanting freedom

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