Changing habits, wanting freedom

jvr

So Thursday the boy got in fight in school, so got put in isolation for few days. Can't remember if I said finally got hold of SS and they said would speak to his mum... She told them that the 2am stuff didn't happen and that he just walked out after being told to tidy his room and that mum was messing with her boundaries for him so SS said it is private matter sort it out yourselves. Now first issue with this is she is almost impossible to understand on phone for us who have known her for years so amazed at fabulous social worker who had no problems understanding?! My sis somehow managed to leave a message on answer phone at SS that is only for professionals. After stressing about her doing that they agreed manager would reopen case. Manager calls Friday and says will speak to the school and the boy at school. When they do he says (despite knowing he is grounded all weekend for fighting) that he wants to stay at my mum's. So at moment he is still there and because the 28 days allowed for short term fostering when people are not vetted runs out before he is 16 (in Feb) they have to refer it and look at vetting my mum and therefore payinh! Even after he turns 16. His mum has agreed to chat to my mum today which is progress and I am going too as the most neutral person probably in her view and someone who had terrible relationship at his age with my own family and now really close.. fingers crossed it goes well!

Thanks for messages about the job! Feeling very determined to get it!

Honey_Bear

Horrible outcome about the interview, really horrible. I can't offer anything towards your strategy in how to deal with it, but really was concerned about what you said:

jvr wrote: »

it is not a side to the business that is used to having women work in it shall we say.... !

because if they didn't give you the job because you're a woman, it's an automatic case of sex discrimination. I hope that's not what you meant, in any event.

JWPopps wrote: »

If they'd said, look, you're not ready for this yet so we're going to hire someone else, but here's an action plan to get you the skills so that next time a job comes up you'd have a better chance that's one thing, but it sounds like what they're actually saying is 'we're sure you could learn to do it, but that would be effort on our part, so we're going external to see if we can find someone who will be a lot cheaper/easier to train, but if we can't then we'll come crawling back to you.'

Honestly, I'm so :mad: on your behalf!!!!

Wow! Excellently put. And if the company doesn't do it, I'd be pulling together that action plan for myself, I think, and talking to them about providing you with the opportunities to make it happen. Well done on going for it, it any event.

As to SS and the speed at which they want to wash their hands, it's probably down to the fact that he's safe where he is and they're swamped with crisis cases where children are genuinely at risk. It's still a sad reflection on being a caring society though, isn't it. Both you and your mum are amazing.

SpekySquarehead

Morning JVR, disappointing news on the job front.

Is the job a promotion with a better title and salary? As has been alluded to, if you don't get it then they should be able to offer you advice on how to be in a better position next time.

How did the lads night go?

Honey_Bear

Was the sleep-in at the church this weekend just gone, Jvr? If so, how did it go?

jvr

Sorry been absent for a while! All been very hectic and OH had his birthday to add into the mix…..
Money first my pay day today yay!…. 300 into overdraft 225 of which was the driving lesson so expected the rest was a result of birthday celebrations and food spending!! Paid that off and will pay cc when OH gets paid at the end of the month. Reset up my spreadsheet and looking quite manageable if we are careful this month. Hoping to pay 400 off the cc to bring us to 4500 debt and then bit less month after as need to have money aside for car insurance (hopefully adding me on!) only one more driving lesson till my test and fingers crossed will be the last!! I know where I have gone a bit wrong this last month and need to make a serious effort with food.. although major progress has been takeaways I think we have had 2 since Christmas rather than if I am honest 2 a week.
Been busy at work trying to get out of office and do some shadowing which may support the job, yes Honey I do believe being a woman is part of the issue but they are being very careful in not explicitly saying that! House is a state, can’t remember everything I did last weekend but caught up with an old friend that I love and had drinks with some people OH used to work with. Was massively positive as he had got himself upset on sat night about no close mates here.. then got invited Sunday night and had a great time. One of them came for drinks on his birthday (Tuesday) and they are all meeting up sat night
Yes it was my ‘stay in the church’ which turned into turning up having a chat with people and discovering they didn’t need me so heading home… which was good as when I got back OH was having his low moment about friends. I feel it still counts as my good dead as the thought was there haha!
So plan for my new month… keep to spreadsheet and spending as little as possible from personal spends budget…. Clean my state of a house (while typing realised that my rotty will get spade this month so must edit budget for that!!) Need to change some dd to my new bank account so can get the 100 m and s voucher and do same for OH…. We have a supermarket at bottom of the road so will be spend on lovely food mmmmmm. Speaking of also need to really focus on having food ideas ready and making more from scratch!
Been a bit slack with cycling to work so will sort that out and my work outs have not happened.. will do weigh in and measurements and really focus on this for the next month… got a year of weddings coming up and as bridesmaid must look my best!!
Hope your all well

Honey_Bear

Good luck with the driving test and really well done on the takeaway habit. Small changes like that are what makes all the difference to staying within your budget.

jvr

Thanks honey went to aldi today to do big shop £79 but freezer is bursting restocked cleaning supplies and loo paper etc so should last a long while! Spent last night tidying and managed to sleep for 12 hours so finished some cleaning today and feel a lot better for having a clean house and can chill tomorrow. Oh at work tonight so can relax with a glass of red (3.50 thanks aldi) in front of the TV. Went through the bank account switch which will go through in Feb so looking forward to the m&s vouchers!

Dolphin1

I'm just popping in to say you are doing excellent jvr and good luck with the driving test.

And also, while I'm here, I just want to thank HoneyBear for her suggestion to keep fakeaway stuff in the freezer for those times that we fancy something a bit naughty. It made me realise that despite all of my good intentions to eat healthily and cook from scratch, there are always times (usually Saturday nights) when it just won't happen and that's ok. The point is to acknowledge it and be ready for it so that we don't resort to spending a fortune eating out or on takeaways. This really has been an epiphany for me and it has saved me a lot of money over the last few weeks and will continue to do so. I don't know why I couldn't admit this sooner.

jvr

Its so obvious when you think about it but I always thought 'being good' was not buying them as more expensive than cooking from scratch. Yet, inevitably I would be tired and go for an even more expensive takeaway! Love these diaries for the simple suggestions that can make a big change and a lot of them come from the amazing HoneyBear


So had a fab weekend finishing cleaning and made a delicious dinner sat night while OH is working which is in a tub for me today. Did a roast chicken yesterday for me and OH and made extra veg so it can all be piled in for a curry tonight.... I can't remember who suggested turning leftovers into different meal instead of same meal twice so OH will eat it but he seems on board


Fitbit is back on and even cycled into work even though it was absolutely freezing. Feel much more on it this week... amazing what a clean and tidy house can do for the mindset. Although as OH pointed out the dogs don't appreciate my work one bit... one decided to pee on my nicely mopped floor! Rude!

MistyMountainTop

You're doing really well! I need to have another go at cleaning the house - I got a fair bit done the other day but it seems every time I turn around another pile of clutter has grown. I have a hard time truly relaxing if the house is untidy - it's always in the back of my mind that I should be getting up and sorting it out, even if it's 'scheduled' relaxation time.

Is your OH managing to stick to the budget? It is all sounding so positive, I'm so pleased for you!