Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

Bobarella · 15 February 2017 at 12:35AM

Hummm I'm not sure on the boiler thing. Not to say your plumber isn't excellent but the one in our house was around 18 and still working. I'd be of the opinion that if it works and is safe then why not wait till it totally dies to replace it? Save up at your leisure.

crazy_cat_lady · 15 February 2017 at 8:29PM

So much for a better night's sleep

The stress monkey has caught up with me, and tiredness makes it worse, and then I stress more and can't sleep and it's a really horrible cycle to get stuck in.
Got home last night at quarter past eight. Had left dh Valentine's card and small present, which he hadn't looked at, so ds gave it to him. I got nothing. This is not a huge surprise as he doesn't see it as important. Don't get me wrong, neither do I really, but it is nice to be reassured that you mean something to someone. Anyway, he looked awful - really washed out and tired. Asked him twice if he was ok - he said yes. Took ds to bed, then went back downstairs - dh asleep on the sofa, so I went to bed. Woke at 3.30 and dh wasn't in bed. Went downstairs and found him watching tv, under the quilt on the sofa. Asked him if I had done anything wrong - he said not. So I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't because of worry. He didn't come to bed at all. I don't know if it's complete and utter paranoia on my part but I have started to become worried that he is having an affair. If I look at this realistically then it's almost ridiculous because practically, he has very little time to be out seeing someone else. But he made a comment last year about being flattered that someone else was interested in him, and since then I have been using that as something to beat myself up with. So when things aren't brilliant (as is the case sometimes) I convince myself that he couldn't possibly love me and has found someone else. It's silly because I've never, ever not trusted him in the whole time we've been together, up until that 'discussion' almost a year ago. I'm struggling to say what I mean, and I know that most of it is my own issues - but I really wish I could just believe in myself a bit more.
So, as you can imagine, I've been really tired all day and haven't gotten going again. The headache is back and I keep thinking tomorrow is Friday (which is massively disappointing). We also had some really sad news at work about an ex pupil that died yesterday, which keeps making me want to cry. I did manage to start preparing my written task - I'm just over half way through it but need to leave it for tonight and try to just relax a bit. I feel as though I have a billion things going round in my head and I'm getting absolutely nowhere with any of it. I really need half term to come round now. Thankfully, Thursday is my best day for teaching and Friday will just be 'looking-forward-to-half-term' day so I've almost made it.
Other than that, things are just ticking on as normal. Bit of housework, bit of relaxing, and sticking to the meal plan. We've all had home made Chinese chicken curry tonight (apart from dh who isn't home yet but there is some there if he wants it) and that's gone down very nicely indeed. I've also chalked up 2 nsd's just down to being too busy and tired to get much else done.

Bobarella · 15 February 2017 at 9:24PM

Hugs Cat. Sorry you are so worried again. Try to be kind to yourself.

Eager_Elephant · 15 February 2017 at 9:31PM

((CCL)) - so sorry the worry monster is in residence.

Men generally can't express how they feel and men with depression express it even less!

Do you think it's the extra hours at work causing him to be like this? Or has he been drinking more?

As you know I worry all the time that my DH is having an affair and to try and combat this I try to think about what I would do differently right at that moment if he was, well of course I wouldn't do anything differently as the house will still need tidying, clothes will still need washing so I just carry on and usually the feeling passes. if it doesn't I can always check his phone!!
Obviously if was having an affair I would be !!!!ed off that I was washing his plates and clothes but I would get over that!!

You can do this CCL - just 2 more days!!

crazy_cat_lady · 16 February 2017 at 9:01PM

Thanks so much you two. Have a dodgy :grouphug:
I'm a bit better today. Still really tired, but feeling brighter than I did yesterday - the headache is still niggling but not as bad as it was yesterday. DH was better yesterday too, which always helps. He is drinking again EE - more than I would like to see, but we've been really honest with each other about that. He's a grown up and needs to make his own decisions.
Work was fine. I was really busy all day but still didn't manage to get any marking done or to prepare my interview task. It's high up the list now... the interview is on Monday and I want my Head of Department to check through it before I go. All planned in my head, but I need to finish writing it down. A student came to see me after work tonight for some extra revision help, which I don't mind, but it made me late and I didn't get much else done. I had to dash home and get naughty tortie straight off to the vet - 3rd check up in 3 weeks. Good news is that she has gained weight again :j and that her urine sample was clear so she got a clean bill of health (for the time being). Bad news is that it was another £109.

I am officially out of cash now and still have half term looming next week which will have to be cheap and cheerful.
I'm exhausted, so going to sign off for the night. I have some crochet mags to look at that a friend from work has given to me. Like I need any further encouragement on that front! :rotfl:

Bobarella · 17 February 2017 at 12:32AM

Gosh that cat of yours! I hope she really loves you (in that slightly aloof I'm better than you, way cats love humans in)

sidsmum · 17 February 2017 at 11:50AM

I'm so glad that the naughty tortie is over her illness.
Lets hope she stays fit and healthy etc., because there is no NHS for cats and there was a time when we never had spare money as it all went on their ailments.

crazy_cat_lady · 18 February 2017 at 12:14PM

Yes, fingers crossed that the naughty tortie doesn't need anything else in the next few months. I love her to bits but she is such an expensive cat - I almost feel she should be gold plated or something :rotfl:
So I made it to half term :j:j There were a few times I thought I wouldn't get there, but here I am. I managed to mark 2 sets of books before I came home yesterday and I got my interview task prepped and checked. I'm horrifically nervous about Monday now, but at least it'll be out of the way pretty soon. Hopefully then I can relax for the rest of the week and prepare myself for a tough run into Easter (and the looming big birthday).
Didn't sleep so well last night - I was on the sofa (my own choice) after ds asked if he could sleep in with his dad 'as a treat'. Woke up ridiculously early and am now just thinking about having a nap before I go out tutoring this afternoon.
Not too many plans for the day. Relax, crochet. I've already been to my training session and I have tutoring this afternoon but that's about it. I do need to do a little top up shop for the week ahead, but our finances are pretty tight after the week we've just had.

kirtsypoos · 18 February 2017 at 12:50PM

I'm sure your interview will go well - glad you have done your prep, I know it's easier said than done but I hope you have as stress free weekend as possible and get a good nights sleep tomorrow so you are bright eyed and bushy tailed for Monday

crazy_cat_lady · 18 February 2017 at 7:56PM

I'm still 2 days away from the interview and I already feel physically sick. My brain has gone into overdrive and is screaming at me how stupid I am to even think I could do something like this. Anxiety and job interviews do not mix well... I am talking myself round, or trying to - but it's absolutely exhausting when you have the b I t c h voice in the back of your head criticising everything you think, say and do. I had a little motivational chat with my friend this morning (she was a contestant on the Apprentice a few years ago so she knows all about interviews and stress). I need to remember all of the stuff that she has said to me. It really is like my own voice is the devil on my shoulder and she is the angel. :rotfl:
Anyway, you know that little nap I mentioned earlier? That turned into a 2 hour snooze fest on the sofa and I felt as though I'd been run over when I had to force myself up to go to my tutoring session. Went to L1dl on the way home for the weekly shop and was very pleased to escape from there only £32.05 lighter and 3 very full shopping bags.
I'm still avoiding housework - that can wait until tomorrow. The carpet will be filthy tomorrow whether or not I hoover it tonight.

I'm just about to get the crochet out. In my current state of anxiety and indecisiveness I have 6 separate projects on the go. I really need to get on and do one.

Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

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