How Did You Afford/Pay for Your/Your Daughter's Wedding?

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  • Bluebell1000
    Bluebell1000 Posts: 1,074 Forumite
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    When we got married last year, my Dad wanted to contribute so he paid for the band, and some of the drinks. I think it came to about £1500, however we were both working so didn't expect him to pay anything, but he contributed because he wanted to feel part of it.

    We had a fairly extravagent wedding by our standards, but even so the total cost was about £6k with 100 guests, so it really doesn't need to be expensive! That included lots of sherry, wine and a 3 course sit down meal, the band and the (ebay purchase) outfits for myself, DH and the 4 bridesmaids.
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    I'm just going to save some money so that it is there if she needs it. I suppose it could equally be put towards a house deposit. I will save it and wait to see what her plans are.

    You are a very frugal bunch and I mean that as a compliment.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • money_honey
    money_honey Posts: 257 Forumite
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    When DH and I got married we weren't expecting my parents to contribute anything towards the wedding, especially as they didn't have a lot of money. They did insist on helping out though and in the end they paid for our honeymoon flights. I made it clear that they were under no obligation to contribute, but they felt strongly that they wanted to put something towards it.
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  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    VfM4meplse wrote: »
    You might be pleasantly surprised...my parents have been saving for our weddings (there are 3 of us) since the day we were born it seems - and haven't had to spend a penny so far, with one in their early 30s and two rapidly heading towards their 40s. Even if we were looking to get married and have lavish weddings, we are all financially independent, childless and earn more than they could ever have dreamed of without having the constraints that they encountered. Conicindentally, they too had a very simple registry office wedding over 40 years ago.

    So now they have a stash of investments that that should have been spent on their own enjoyment, but hasn't. I've advised them to enjoy the fruits of their labour on umpteen occasions but they still live in hope!

    Why don't you ask your daughter whether she expects to get married in the future, and how she is planning for her dream day? That way she will know that you support her, and will focus her mind on working towards what she wants.

    For some reason this really made me laugh. I am however going to save the money secretly so that I can keep the element of surprise if she announces an engagement.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • marywooyeah
    marywooyeah Posts: 2,656 Forumite
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    tesuhoha wrote: »
    I've just been over to the wedding forum and have seen your lovely photos. Congratulations. Feel quite tearful.

    Well if and when it happens i will definitely be looking over there so many tips and ideas

    thankyou thats lovely of you to say! I was very nervous about being a bigger bride but I thoroughly enjoyed the day.
    have you asked your daughter if she has any plans "that way"?
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    It seems from all your comments that most parents wish to contribute something, even if you don't want them to. My husband is quite a proud person and he would be most upset if he didn't pay for something!!
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • carrieuk
    carrieuk Posts: 70 Forumite
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    My parents wont contribute to my wedding but thats because they have just bought us a house and i would expect them not to contribute and would go as so far as refuse any kind of offers they give.

    We are going to go it alone. The wedding scenario I want is about £10k which we will be saving up for ourselves. My Future MIL has already said they will pay for the photographer but only if its their friend (And i don't like his photos) so that will go on top of that as well.

    I don't expect anything from anyone really as it's our dream day and our budget.. that's it really...
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    marywooyeah wrote: »
    thankyou thats lovely of you to say! I was very nervous about being a bigger bride but I thoroughly enjoyed the day.
    have you asked your daughter if she has any plans "that way"?

    Goodness me I didn't think that about you. You looked beautiful. You have a gorgeous family too.

    No, I suppose this has come about because one of her friends is having a very expensive wedding (she is going to be an usher) and she told me it was going to cost £20,000 or thereabouts and she thought it was a waste of money. However, this made me think that I ought to be making some provision towards her getting married even though at present she is in quite an unsettled relationship and I'm pretty sure there are no plans on the horizon. Hopefully, I will have time to save up a bit. I like to have pots for different things so that I don't get any nasty surprises.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • Desperado99
    Desperado99 Posts: 1,195 Forumite
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    edited 20 July 2011 at 1:21PM
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    When we were married, we went 50:50 with my parents.

    I absolutely forbade them to get into any debt over it, only to find out that they took out a sneaky loan without telling me :o
  • Peanuckle
    Peanuckle Posts: 481 Forumite
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    My daughter is 17 and nowhere near considering marriage but when I just asked her she said that she wouldn't expect anything from us towards her wedding. In fact she'd prefer to fund it herself because that way noone can interfere or question her decisions about what she plans. Smart cookie that lassie :rotfl:

    My parents supplied 2 bottles of sherry and took me to the church in their car for my first wedding and they supplied a wedding cake made by a friend of theirs for my second wedding (and boy didn't my mother make a big thing of the £20 she paid for it!). Didn't even give me a wedding present either time, think that says more about my mother's attitude to me really? My eldest brother had his wedding lunch and evening entertainment funded by them and the other brother had the wedding breakfast and marquee entertainment paid for (thankfully I never even considered anything that posh :money:)
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