Looking for the silver lining

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  • please-let-me-be-lucky
    please-let-me-be-lucky Posts: 10,202 Forumite
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    Honey unfortunately you are a coper. Take it from me, this means people think you will just get on with things because you are bloody brilliant. No one expects you to struggle because you haven't so far. Make sure you tell them that you need more support.

    I'm sorry you are feeling down but it's totally understandable. Hugs Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0 :j
    Best win so far - holiday to Florida
  • Sun_Addict
    Sun_Addict Posts: 21,556 Forumite
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    It's not off the mark kissjenn - and thank you! I know I'm not the first or the last to go through this. Doesn't stop it hurting like hell though! I'm trying so very hard to keep it together but it's so hard when there is no concrete support. I go on MacMillan brain tumour support thread as they understand and there are people a lot worse off than me there. So very unfair!
    I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)
  • Sun_Addict
    Sun_Addict Posts: 21,556 Forumite
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    Thanks to you too Lucky - I know you know how I feel as you are dealing with similar brain injury type thing. We crossed posts yet again!!! You are doing a more amazing job than me as you are making a fab job of raising 2 young boys as well as dealing with hubby and assorted carp! Plus debt busting! And dieting!! Am in awe!!!
    I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)
  • kissjenn
    kissjenn Posts: 2,358 Forumite
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    When ex-OH had a stroke all I heard was poor him are you doing....have you done....he'll need this....you better do....why haven't you....

    Not one person apart from my boss sat me down and tried to help me cope with this meant.

    I was expected to work everyday, find childcare for my son, visit every day a 40 mile round trip into the heart of the city, keep the house and be upbeat and chipper at all times "to keep his spirits up". When I fell ill his words were at least if you die it'll be better than being blind.

    I was exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Didn't stop when he came home as he then felt entitled as the whole world kept telling him he was.

    It's an invidious position to be in. I hope it helps just a little to know we understand and support you even it it is remotely.
    :A Let us be grateful to people who make us happy: they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust :A
  • Sun_Addict
    Sun_Addict Posts: 21,556 Forumite
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    Guess who forgot about clocks going back. I've been up since 6!!! Going to run 3 miles on treadmill soon - get the exercise over and done with. Don't like the sound of this storm on its way tonight. Looking at the area it covers on the weather map I need to batten down the hatches it's heading my way!
    I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)
  • Sun_Addict
    Sun_Addict Posts: 21,556 Forumite
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    Unbelievable! Mr SA's sister has just rung to say she won't be able to offer me support anymore as she's not coping with things very well. And I haven't to ring her unless it's good news! Wonderful! Told her I don't need any support I can cope alone thank you very much! Feel a bit hurt now.

    Wind is already getting up here.


    Ran 3 miles on treadmill this morning so might not "shred" tonight. I thought I'd got away lightly with last night's session until I tried to lift leg up to dry it after shower. Ouch! And my bum hurts! And my arms!
    I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)
  • kissjenn
    kissjenn Posts: 2,358 Forumite
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    Sun_Addict wrote: »
    Unbelievable! Mr SA's sister has just rung to say she won't be able to offer me support anymore as she's not coping with things very well. And I haven't to ring her unless it's good news! Wonderful! Told her I don't need any support I can cope alone thank you very much! Feel a bit hurt now.

    And so you should.

    Folks are often quick to back off and equally quick to condemn if they don't like how you're doing things.

    The exercise rush and burn will be helping, keeps your mind off for a bit anyhoo!
    :A Let us be grateful to people who make us happy: they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust :A
  • *Robin*
    *Robin* Posts: 3,364 Forumite
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    Sun_Addict wrote: »
    Unbelievable! Mr SA's sister has just rung to say she won't be able to offer me support anymore as she's not coping with things very well. And I haven't to ring her unless it's good news! Wonderful! Told her I don't need any support I can cope alone thank you very much! Feel a bit hurt now.

    Oof! :(
    You know the woman and we don't, but if she's not usually a very self-centred person, then I can't help wondering whether SIL might just have been dealt another devastating blow, closer to her than her brother..?
    If that's the case, I can well imagine she would find it incredibly hard to tell you who are also going through it.. But maybe she didn't want to withdraw without saying anything, and in her own distress handled the call very badly..

    Beyond that possibility, it's hard to think of another reason - but as you told SIL, you don't need her help. Between your children, RL and MSE friends, 'official' support, and your own indomitable spirit, you are coping marvellously and will continue to do so..
    (((Hugs :)))).
    Sun_Addict wrote: »
    Wind is already getting up here.

    Batten down the hatches! Keeping fingers crossed for all friends in the path of St Jude's storm, that you will keep safe until it has passed.
  • Sun_Addict
    Sun_Addict Posts: 21,556 Forumite
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    Do you know I was thinking along the same lines Robin. I wondered if she'd had a fall out with her hubby. I know he went out with his mates last night. Unlike her I haven't got the luxury of burying my head in the sand. I wouldn't mind but the only "support" I got from her other than verbal was a lift home from the hospital twice a week. When Mr SA was discharged for that week we never saw hide nor hair of her. She knew he was desperate to go to a park he likes and take the dog.

    Trying hard not to let it bother me. At least I can come on here to let off steam!
    I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)
  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 90,698 Ambassador
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    Its so true what they say, you can pick your friends but not your relations.
    KJ~Sums up why he is an ex.
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.     ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.
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