Kids or no kids at my wedding?

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Former_MSE_Jo_N
Former_MSE_Jo_N Posts: 4 Newbie
in Weddings & anniversaries
I’m getting married next year and we’re currently drawing up the guest list. The only problem is that so many of our friends now have kids, and as much as we love them, it’s going to be very expensive inviting them too. Is it unfair to ask the parents to leave their little ones (except babies) at home?
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Comments

  • Hippipal
    Hippipal Posts: 51 Forumite
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    It's your wedding so you can do what you want. But friends with children may not want to come if you don't invite the kids! I wouldn't have gone when my children were young because the cost of babysitters for the day added to the cost of a present wouldn't have been affordable for us.
  • cashewnut
    cashewnut Posts: 362 Forumite
    First Anniversary
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    We're not having children at our wedding and all our friends know and are understanding :)

    If someone thinks it "unfair" then it's tough. They're not the ones paying for the wedding and an invitation isn't a summons - they're not forced to be separated from their children!
  • bylromarha
    bylromarha Posts: 10,085 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    edited 28 April 2015 at 10:49PM
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    We asked some people to leave kids at home in 1999. We probably had about 10 kids all in all, 10 kids being babysat while their parents came. All adults asked to leave their kids at home were happy to. Saying that, we got married early 20s, so many friends were not even with their life partners yet, let alone had kids.

    It's a fine balance - the main thing to consider is would you be happy for the adults not to come and celebrate with you? By not inviting their kids, this may mean the parents won't come. Which would you prefer? No kids or no parents?
    Who made hogs and dogs and frogs?
  • emidee
    emidee Posts: 71 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    It's your wedding, so do as you wish - however bear in mind that:

    * Childcare is expensive & the cost of this, plus present / outfits / travel / etc may be prohibitive for the parents you've invited - especially if your wedding involves an overnight stay for guests.

    * Parents of young babies (under 1?) may be unwilling or unable to leave their offspring at home.

    * Although most parents will understand your decision, a few may feel offended - especially if you allow the children of a select few to come, whilst choosing not to invite others.

    Good luck & enjoy your day, whatever you decide :D
  • gellerbing
    gellerbing Posts: 350 Forumite
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    We don't want kids at our wedding either simply because we don't want to hear screaming kids during our vows or speeches, we are considering inviting them to the reception though, is that a possibility?
    It's your wedding you can invite and not invite whoever you want, and if people get offended by it are they the kind of people you want at your wedding?
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  • bylromarha
    bylromarha Posts: 10,085 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    gellerbing wrote: »
    It's your wedding you can invite and not invite whoever you want, and if people get offended by it are they the kind of people you want at your wedding?

    :eek: Because they put their kids over your friendship with them? Really?!
    Who made hogs and dogs and frogs?
  • sillyvixen
    sillyvixen Posts: 3,617 Forumite
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
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    we invited kids to our wedding as we did not want our friends and family to feel torn over attending and finding childcare - we had one couple who chose to leave their 9 month old with grandparents, and one of my husbands workmates kids came to the wedding but as they had a family party on his wife's side of the family they were unable to stay for the reception - so the husband stayed and the wife and kids went, but for the evening one of my workmates came with her two kids. we had 14 under 12's in all - did things a bit differently, no disco (just several playlists on an ipod - played at different t times through the evening) but a kids craft table ( i was still cutting out templates at 10am on my wedding day) to keep the kids entertained , it worked really well - the kids were entertained and the adults were able to talk as the music was not to noisy - and the cost of 5 different crafts and feeding the kids was cheaper than a wedding disco.
    Dogs return to eat their vomit, just as fools repeat their foolishness. There is no more hope for a fool than for someone who says, "i am really clever!"
  • frugs
    frugs Posts: 10 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    Our first wedding guest list had about 25 kids on it and 75 adults, and there's no way we could run with that - I was planning a wedding not a children's party!

    We ended up explaining why we couldn't invite children on our wedding website and made an exception for family/friends who were travelling a distance and staying for a few days.

    We didn't have anyone take offence (as far as I know!!), but accepted that a few people wouldn't be able to make it.
  • scotsbob
    scotsbob Posts: 4,632 Forumite
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    I wouldn't ask them I would tell them. Be quite specific with guests that the invitation doesn't extend to their offspring.


    This will go down well with the majority of your guests who will have had previous occasions spoiled by unruly and uncontrolled children.


    Remember it's your special day, you run the show.
  • gaving7095
    gaving7095 Posts: 168 Forumite
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    It's your day so do what you want :-)
    I have a son & wouldn't be "offended" but in these days where we all work long hours time with family is very precious so I'd have to think twice about coming...
    Thus possibly staving you even more money - yaay :-)
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