Real-life MMD: Party-pooping payment request - should I pay up?

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Former_MSE_Debs
Former_MSE_Debs Posts: 890 Forumite
edited 29 October 2013 at 6:16PM in MoneySaving polls
Money Moral Dilemma: Party-pooping payment request - should I pay up?

My son's been invited to two birthday parties and both require payment to attend. I'm not sure whether this is the latest craze, the norm or just unfortunate, but I don't know what to do. I don't want my son to be left out, but £25+, plus a present and the cost of travel is a lot to shell out. Should I pay up or decline?


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  • moohic
    moohic Posts: 6 Forumite
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    I'd say no. It just goes to show how ridiculously expensive parties have become, and is going to exclude people. If they want a party all the children invited can come to, they should hold a cheap birthday party at home.
    Unfortunately it means the children miss out, but they'll understand, and you can always use the time to do something cheaper but still fun.
  • helrose
    helrose Posts: 6 Forumite
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    No, I think if you've been invited to a party the expectation is that the parents of the child will pay for the party. You are expected to buy a present too so it's totally wrong to expect to pay for your child to go go.
  • snowball2
    snowball2 Posts: 204 Forumite
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    My son went gokarting for his last birthday treat with a few friends, it cost £25 each but we met the full cost, we did limit his guests to 5 though due to the cost, but I wouldn't have expected another parent to pay for their own child to come to my sons party.
  • gaving7095
    gaving7095 Posts: 168 Forumite
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    It IS a bit much but do you want your child to be the one who is left out?
    Can you afford it? Maybe be a bit frugal with the gift? ;-)
    At least when & if it's your turn to throw the party the precedent has been set for you to charge others to attend!
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
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    If it was their absolute best friend I might have said yes -if it was an activity that really appealed but if it's just a classmate -I'd probably decline -I wouldn't charge my guests to attend a celebration be it a birthday party or a wedding . Plus it might stop it becoming the norm if enough parents did the same. People should cut their cloth according to their means not expect other people to subsidize their celebrations.
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • msMoneypenny
    msMoneypenny Posts: 4 Newbie
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    What an awful idea! The parent gives the party for their child's friends. They are the hosts. They pay for it all. By all means, restrict numbers, keep it simple, accept help and kindly offered contributions to food on the day. But expecting payment is offensive and inappropriate. It is also wrong to encourage a situation where it's all about risking a child feeling " left out " if the parent can't afford to pay. Children, of course, do have to learn that not all that they want is possible, be it for financial reasons or otherwise. But a birthday party is not the right place for this issue to arise. I would let the parents know that they are setting an unwelcome precedent that will cause future problems amongst their children's friends.
  • Shinds
    Shinds Posts: 448 Forumite
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    £25..!!??!! To attend a kids party.? They are having a laugh!
  • matthewfelgate
    matthewfelgate Posts: 58 Forumite
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    I would probably say yes - some of my best memories from school years was going to friends birthday parties :-).
  • kateryan
    kateryan Posts: 11 Forumite
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    As a child my parents couldn't afford birthday parties so we just enjoyed tea with my nan & a few aunties.

    I am sure not every child in a class has a birthday party, especially those who have their birthdays in school holidays.

    I would never pay or expect to be asked to pay for a child to attend a party.

    Save the money and treat your child to a day out with you.
  • hall987
    hall987 Posts: 69 Forumite
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    I live in a area where hardly anyone does home parties and parties cost £250-£750 per party, but no one would dream of asking anyone to pay for their child to attend. People shouldn't ask £25 to attend a party on top of a present and fuel etc to get there, it's downright rude!
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