Real life MMD: Are my parents dividing the will fairly?

Former_MSE_Debs · 6 July 2012 at 3:10PM

Money Moral Dilemma: Are my parents dividing the will fairly?

My parents are writing their will. My dad has two children from a previous marriage, plus my sister and I. Their proposal is my dad splits half their assets four ways and my mum half two ways. Thus I'd get 37.5%, but my half-siblings only 12.5%.

I think this is fair - it's their money and they can do what they want with it. But my half siblings aren't happy (I suspect, partially as there's little chance of inheritance from their mother). Should I encourage my parents to split assets equally between the four of us to keep the peace, or keep well out of it?

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ironlady2022 · 10 July 2012 at 7:45PM

I would keep out of it, it's their will, not yours. If you get the bigger share, fair enough but at the end of the day, it's their wish not yours, not your other siblings. Of course they would feel unfair, in my opinion they cannot expect anymore as it would mean your Dad giving over half his assets away.

Torry_Quine · 10 July 2012 at 7:47PM

I would say keep out of it. It's entirely up to them and they don't have to tell you.

epm-84 · 10 July 2012 at 7:48PM

It sounds fair to me. It's not your problem or your parent's problem with regards to how your half-sibling's mother splits her inheritance.

whitewing · 10 July 2012 at 7:56PM

Ours will be split equally between two children, despite son probably inheriting from his natural father.

Similarily, if (god forbid), we all went in a car accident, it would be split equally between our siblings (not my half to my siblings and his half to his).

We took the approach that all people of equal relationship standing would be split equally, regardless of bloodline.

scotsbob · 10 July 2012 at 11:26PM

Their assets, their will, their decision.

McKneff · 10 July 2012 at 11:31PM

I have no step children, nor has my other half. But you are a person after my own heart.

I am paranoid about being fair to both my children.
If I give to one to help, then the other one gets the same.

Wedding present money to one, the other one gets the same.

Same with grandchildren, 2 non blood ones but they are treated the same as blood grandchildren.

I cannot cope with unfairness or injustice, but thats just me lol

Girly_Girl · 10 July 2012 at 11:33PM

It is your parents' decision as it's their money. I believe that no-one should expect anything from a will - it's a gift, not a right! But if it were me and I were advising my parents, I would say that it depended on how close your mum and her step-children were - if she hardly knows them, then she shouldn't feel obliged to leave them anything. However, if she brought them up as her own, I can see why they might be hurt by the decision. It might be best for your parents to sort this out now as I'm sure they wouldn't like to think of the children falling out over the will...

Greenfly_3 · 11 July 2012 at 12:57AM

I'm in a similar situation. Your Dad's will is for him and your Mum to sort out. Absolutely nothing to do with you. UNLESS you can see that he is being "forced" to make his will this way and you have reasonable doubt as to his mental wellbeing. Apart from that; stay away.

bagby · 11 July 2012 at 1:07AM

I'm really interested in replies. Because we are in exactly the same position and my thinking would be split husbands share four ways and mine two ways. We haven't made a will for the reason we can't decide. Husband said that if I were to go first and he was left everything then he would split equally four ways as they are all the same to him but I would like to leave my share to my two children as older two have their own mothers share. We all get on by the way and we really should make a decision. If I was left on my own then I would leave the shares as two 37.5 and two at 12.5. Hate even thinking about it but I think that is fair distribution.

Hiccups_2 · 11 July 2012 at 1:20AM

MSE_Debs wrote: »

My parents are writing their will. My dad has two children from a previous marriage, plus my sister and I. Their proposal is my dad splits half their assets four ways and my mum half two ways. Thus I'd get 37.5%, but my half-siblings only 12.5%.

What will happen if your dad dies before your mother? Technically, she would then have 100% control / ownership of all the assets, whilst she is still alive, and your half siblings would get nothing when she died.

Let's say the will deals with this issue and the assets are "split" 50 / 50 at the time of the first parent's (dad's) death. What happens if your mum falls on hard times or needs to pay for care facilities etc. would she be prevented from dipping into her joint assets? If she's not prevented, what's stopping her from using those assets to help her own children whilst she's still alive?

Who will be responsible for the care (or paying for care) of your parents when they are elderly and can no longer look after themselves?

When your dad divorced his first wife (the mother of your half siblings) how were the assets split then, for example was there a house that the mother / children remained in?

In real terms how much of your parents' wealth is attributable to each parent? Is it a genuine 50/50 split? Things would be more complicated if a disproportionately large amount of the total wealth came from one parent (for example, if they had themselves inherited a large fortune - such as your dad, inheriting a house from his own father).

I don't think there's a clear answer on how this should be dealt with, but there are potentially a lot of loopholes that should be considered. This may turn into a cause for bitterness and resentment in the future if things aren't smoothed over now.

My personal opinion is that a 50 / 50 split is much too simplistic for something like this. It's good that you're personally prepared to be very fair minded about the whole thing though.

Real life MMD: Are my parents dividing the will fairly?

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