Death of a friend

Jill__2 · 29 December 2009 at 7:23PM

Hi

First thread so hope its in the right place!

My friend, he lived on his own, I went round to visit him on Saturday, as had not seen him since since the 18th (He is 22 lived on his own had no other family) I found him dead on the floor when I let myself in (I have a key)

As I was recorded as his next of kin (he had no one else ad recorded me) I was told he would be released to me (Not sure what this means).

1. What do I have to do? Like do I have to contact anyone in particular, I know I have to contact a funeral director but other than that, what do I do?

2. I know I have to formally register the death with the council but is there anyone else?

3. I know that his property will belong to his estate, however he had a picture of me and him and a teddy bear, I was just wondering hw I would go about getting these? Do I have to buy them from his estate or anything, I'd really like these (Sounds selfish I know but they are my memories of him)

thanks for reading and your advice

patchwork_cat · 29 December 2009 at 7:26PM

This must have been very traumatic for you, hugs.

Where were you recorded as his next of kin, did he have no relatives at all? Did he have a will? have found this may be of use http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/family/what_to_do_after_a_death.htm

Jill__2 · 29 December 2009 at 7:32PM

patchwork_cat wrote: »

This must have been very traumatic for you, hugs.

Where were you recorded as his next of kin, did he have no relatives at all? Did he have a will?

thanks for replying

I was recorded at the hospital on the computer. He had no relatives (he was in a care home for most of his child life) As for a will I'm not sure, He does have a letter in his safe that he showed me entitled "In the event of my death" maybe thats it?

thorsoak · 29 December 2009 at 8:16PM

Firstly Jill, may I send my condolences to you on the death of your friend - it must have been a horrible shock for you.

If you look here http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/DG_10029808

It tells you how to go about notifying people.

vaio · 29 December 2009 at 8:16PM

Sorry to hear what’s happened, it must have been a shock & upsetting.

On the practicalities, I’m not sure that being down as NOK at the hospital actually gives you any legal rights (or responsibilities). You really need to get hold of the “in case of death” envelope you mention to see what it says. Your friends estate will be responsible for the funeral costs and be careful because if his estate can’t (or won’t) pay then if you contact the undertakers and arrange it then you will end up paying.

Having said that I’m not sure what happens if there is no money, I’d get some advice before taking any action, maybe the registrar or the council would be able to outline your options.

Good luck

Jill__2 · 29 December 2009 at 8:36PM

vaio wrote: »

Sorry to hear what’s happened, it must have been a shock & upsetting.

On the practicalities, I’m not sure that being down as NOK at the hospital actually gives you any legal rights (or responsibilities). You really need to get hold of the “in case of death” envelope you mention to see what it says. Your friends estate will be responsible for the funeral costs and be careful because if his estate can’t (or won’t) pay then if you contact the undertakers and arrange it then you will end up paying.

If I have to pay anyway, I don't mind. Its the last thing I can ever do for him. I'll go over and get that letter tonight.

Having said that I’m not sure what happens if there is no money, I’d get some advice before taking any action, maybe the registrar or the council would be able to outline your options.

Good luck

Thanks for that, but as I said If I need to pay I will he has done enough for me over the years, time for me to pay him back!

Should I go over on my own or with a witness? WHen I get my envelope what am I looking for?

onetomany · 29 December 2009 at 8:57PM

my real mum died on the 13 november and was found on the 9th december, i was going to take on the funeral but couldnt afford it , i wasnt etilteld t any help ethier, so the council did a cremation, i wasnt allowed to arrange anything but the envioment health rang and asked my opitions on stuff, and on the day it was just as i would of wanted but free , please dont feel bad about asking for help a cheep funeral cost between 2-3 thousand its alot of money , so if i sound harsh hope you get it sorted x

Errata · 29 December 2009 at 9:17PM

Sorry to read of your sad and shocking news OP. Please, please make sure you truly can afford to pay for the funeral, as someone else has mentioned, they can cost £2-3 thousand pounds depending on where you live. You need to understand that whoever makes arrangements with the undertaker for the funeral accepts responsibility for paying the whole bill.
If your friend left enough money to pay for the funeral then it can be paid from that. If there was no, or little, money then if nobody takes responsibility for arranging the funeral the local authority take responsibility for doing it and paying for a very simple one. HTH

LydiaJ · 29 December 2009 at 9:17PM

So sorry to hear what a horrible thing has happened to you, Jill.

As vaio has said, being NOK on a hospital document just means you are the person they contact in case of emergency. Being NOK legally when someone has died is quite different, and I'm pretty sure it only applies to people who are actually related to the person who's died. If your friend had no relations and hasn't left a will then I am very sorry but I think there will be a nasty mess to sort out legally.

As onetomany has said, funerals (even cheap and basic ones) are very expensive - a few thousand at least. Unless you have that kind of quantity of spare cash to spend, I'm afraid you will need to do as onetomany has done, and allow the council to arrange your friend's funeral at their expense.

It wouldn't hurt to take a witness when you go to find the envelope, but it probably isn't crucial. What is really important is that once you've got the envelope you get some legal advice about what to do with what's inside it. Sorry I can't be more helpful. Hope you get everything sorted out OK.

Jill__2 · 29 December 2009 at 9:50PM

Hi

Thanks for your replies they are really helpful.

I went over and got the envelope with my dad, A brown envelope an inside 2 further envelopes One addressed to me and another one that contained a will. The one addressed to me contained a personal letter and a note which said "basically I'm leaving everything to you, go out and have some fun have a drink and remember me, My executors are Barclays and my will solicitors is theirs, again I ask you don't shed a tear for me and thank you for being my friend"

Would it be wrong of me to inform his friends the news? Im sorry I don't know the procedures

As for the funeral, I really don't mind paying for it, I have the cash to, he did alot for me when he was alive and I'd like to do this final thing for him.

Now that he has a will, does it mean there will be a legal mess afterwards? Will they try and find his parents/family? According to my friend when we had the chat many years ago he said "they are dead to me".

LydiaJ · 29 December 2009 at 9:59PM

Hi Jill

So glad to hear there's a will. That should make things much easier. You'll need to talk to someone at Barclay's to find out what's going on, but if he's named his bank as executors then there shouldn't be much mess for you to deal with.

Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss, but I hope you'll be able to remember him as positively as he wanted you to!

Death of a friend

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