MSE Parents Club Part 7

keelykat · 28 October 2009 at 10:35AM

Thank you for all those lovely replies, didn't expect them but needed to write it down and get the worries out. I've always been a worryer, defintely my bad point.

I've always got a lot going on-and i'm not coping too well with everything right now. When i say lot going on, i don't mean i'm busy as such but things going on to worry about. It's been affecting my sleep again

I have been having long chats with my mom, about family issues and how i'm feeling. So glad to get that out. And have started to talk to hubby about things, but still have few things to discuss i think ie another baby and my worries there.

I have put things on facebook then realised ive put my foot in it, because some of my issues are to do with family and they are on there. Very stupid of me. Got myself in too deep there. Will try to watch what im typing from now on!

Keely.

ps-my MIL is going back into hospital on friday, she's had the appointment come through. So keeping fingers crossed.

pps-my sister moved, but went and let the ex in!!

weezl74 · 28 October 2009 at 10:38AM

money_maker wrote: »

Weezl, hope you are feeling better today Hope your down day wasnt for anything too serious

Hi mm, how's your cold this morning?

I think I feel a bit better, but suspect it was probably hormones

;)

I'd been feeling a bit concerned about Fergie after reading a milestones chart (someone posted the linkie yeaterday) and realising how little he can do that at least half of children his age can. I try not to do that but DH asked if I thought he was delayed after we were chatting about various exciting developments of other children.

Anyhooo, I got myself back on track by saying there's nothing I can do about it by worrying and I'm sure that his 8 month check will spot anything (shame ours is when he's nearly 9 months :rolleyes::rotfl:). But then the GP when I took him about more lactulose did a really strange thing and it threw me.

She observed him a bit and asked a few questions that seemed relevant to constipation. Then she suddenly said: 'how old is he?' and I told her. And she went back to the couch where she'd laid him down to look at his abdomen and sat him up and observed the strength of his sitting for a while. Then she said: 'Oh! he can do that quite well!' and wrote it in the notes.

Now I know I'm not a medic, but what on earth can sitting have to do with constipation? :rotfl:

She'd also asked if I'd had him weighed recently, I said no, that we only come when we need to for jabs etc and the next one was at 8 months. We were very happy with his weight gain. I also smiled and said, when you examine him you'll see he's not at all skinny!

At the end of the appt, she returned to that and said I should bring him for more weighing, because it's good to check in with the HVs frequently.

So then I got a bit worried there was stuff she wasn't saying

Sorry, long answer! Thank you for asking though. :A

Am I the only one who wishes we were all a bit nearer. I'd so love to have a mum and baby coffee morning every week and you could all come. It'd be the highlight of my week!

SugarSpun · 28 October 2009 at 10:39AM

keelykat wrote: »

I still worry a lot about the whole breastfeeding problems again and letting down another baby. I also think i'm a rubbish mom in general anyway.

Keely, what these lovely ladies said:

Krystaltips wrote: »

Keeley, I'm sure you're a wonderful Mum... Only people who don't care about being bad parents are crap parents... It's our worrying about it that makes us good

weezl74 wrote: »

I think you are a great mum, especially I like your loyalty to E. Whenever you have to post that things have been a bit ropey, you are always ery careful to point out that it isn't him.

You're a lovely Mummy, and I love the way you talk about your LO.

Mad busy day, so now I've skimmed back I'll add hugs for everyone who isn't sick or covered in someone else's sick (Tia I'm looking at you).

BM, I'm sort of glad you got the result you wanted but sorry it's still a bit sad for you.

Weezl and mel, hope you're both feeling ok.

MM sorry you're sick.

Tara, I'm a bit late but I'd probably leave it and then the next time MIL has the LO tell her that you don't want nasty SIL looking after him because of what happened last time so if she's not going to be able to mind him the whole time she should say at the beginning.

Tigs, LO's been working super hard so is just having a couple of rest days. He'll be fine, and I second the idea of taking walks around the hospital grounds.

Harley, elle and Bruno, those pictures were super cute.

Need to rush off - hope I didn't miss anyone

Edit: Weezl, when Fergie's 16 it won't matter that he reached a couple of milestones a couple of months after others his age. I'm sure he's fine; some babies do things in the wrong order (like Molly, who is happy to grow teeth and stare at strangers/other babies but prefers not to look at her parents if she can possibly avoid it).

Sami_Bee · 28 October 2009 at 10:42AM

Keely as everyone has said if you are worried about being a good mum then you are one

I found BFing much better 2nd time around mostly I think due to the fact that Krystal et al. had armed me with lots of knowledge so I knew that him wanting to feed very often at first, I knew it would be a bit painful/uncomfortable but that wouldn't go as he got better and I adjusted him in to the right position (and I actually knew what the right position was!) etc. I was clueless the first time and I'm quite annoyed rather than guilty about it now because I know that the pre and post natal care I received wasn't helpful or encouraging of BFing but it is much better now.
I also kept reminding myself that Chris was FF totally from 2weeks old and if you met him you would see that he is a bright, healthy (and gorgeous

) little boy, I don't think its done him any harm being FF.
I'd say look at BFing as a bonus or a wish not a need IYSWIM, If it works out then that will be lovely but if it doesn't its no matter.
Or maybe if you'd find it better for you decided to FF from the start then there would be no perceived pressure on you at all?

If you're worried about another birth or PND try not to, you will be given more support a 2nd time around with the option to request an elective c-s if that would make you feel better about it?
I'm sure if you spoke to OH about it he would understand, he's probably quite worried about it too, I'm sure he didn't enjoy seeing his wife in pain physical or mental either x

money_maker_3 · 28 October 2009 at 10:48AM

weezl, I was a slow developer according to my mum, couldnt sit unaided till nearly 9 months. All babies develop at different times, so the charts plot the average, there has to be kids below and above the average. As for getting weighed more, that may be just because medical people like to plot things in little lines, and you arent giving them very many points of reference to plot !!

keelykat · 28 October 2009 at 10:49AM

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Keely as everyone has said if you are worried about being a good mum then you are one
I found BFing much better 2nd time around mostly I think due to the fact that Krystal et al. had armed me with lots of knowledge so I knew that him wanting to feed very often at first, I knew it would be a bit painful/uncomfortable but that wouldn't go as he got better and I adjusted him in to the right position (and I actually knew what the right position was!) etc. I was clueless the first time and I'm quite annoyed rather than guilty about it now because I know that the pre and post natal care I received wasn't helpful or encouraging of BFing but it is much better now.
I also kept reminding myself that Chris was FF totally from 2weeks old and if you met him you would see that he is a bright, healthy (and gorgeous ) little boy, I don't think its done him any harm being FF.
I'd say look at BFing as a bonus or a wish not a need IYSWIM, If it works out then that will be lovely but if it doesn't its no matter.
Or maybe if you'd find it better for you decided to FF from the start then there would be no perceived pressure on you at all?

If you're worried about another birth or PND try not to, you will be given more support a 2nd time around with the option to request an elective c-s if that would make you feel better about it?
I'm sure if you spoke to OH about it he would understand, he's probably quite worried about it too, I'm sure he didn't enjoy seeing his wife in pain physical or mental either x

Thank you

Strangely enough, the birth bit isn't worrying me. Even though i didn't love pregnancy, i didn't hate it. I managed to stay relaxed throughout, and my husband gave me great support. It's the bit when baby is here!

I wish i'd have known kyrstal better back then, to get help off her. The midwives here weren't great if i'm honest with bf.

For some reason my husband is still proud of me! He keeps very positive, need it to rub off on me a bit more i think!

I admit i would be more prepared next time around, a lot of things stressed me out to begin with ie his reflux, but as time went on i learnt to stay calm and clean it up with no stress. I guess the reflux thing worries me too.

OK-positive vibes/thoughts

Sami_Bee · 28 October 2009 at 10:50AM

Claire_Jones wrote: »

will pop back and catch up in a min but just windered if any of you know how to work out how much it would cost to send a parcel to singapore? Not very heavy maybe 2kg but probably 2ftx2ftx2ft

Check out THIS thread

weezl74 · 28 October 2009 at 10:51AM

Hallo again, can I ask one of my long complicated questions?

*assumes yes*

thanks for all the thoughts about legal guardianship.

I've been thinking a bit about how to provide financially and how much needs to be in place to make sure our legal guardian person (my brother) can look after Fergus ok.

Has anyone else done anything about this/got any thoughts? Would love to hear what you all think, if you don't mind...

Hey, Bruno, I'm being on topic again, it's about money and kids! Shall I go hide

:rotfl:

money_maker_3 · 28 October 2009 at 10:58AM

weezl, we have many things set up if you want to see

*I will assume yes too

*

House - life insurance set up to pay this off so home is there for kids
Normal costs of house - 2nd life policy set up for minimal amount to cover at least 5 years of housing costs like insurance and rates
Long term money for J & D - Chris pension has been assigned to them to get a monthly income from their 18th birthdays, up till then it goes into a trust fund
Money for my sister (guardian) - My private pension - this will give the equivalent of £7k a year which will be topped up by a lump sum paid by my death in service payment of 4 times my salary paid directly to her.
We also have an investment policy that is assigned to the kids to give them a lump sum out of when they turn 21, (well Jasmine does, I will set Dylans up when I go back to work) and I have also set up a pension for both of them too

weezl74 · 28 October 2009 at 10:58AM

weezl74 wrote: »

Am I the only one who wishes we were all a bit nearer. I'd so love to have a mum and baby coffee morning every week and you could all come. It'd be the highlight of my week!

EDIT: naughty weezl, I mean I want to have a parent and baby group. I want Bruno to come too :rotfl:

MSE Parents Club Part 7

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