£75 for a hen party??

paddlingfuriously · 14 August 2008 at 11:48AM

Hi Twinkle - I had to comment on here as expensive hen parties are one of my pet hates...especially when you have to pay for the wedding (hotel, outfit, present, travel) too...it can quickly add up to the equivalent of a week in the Carribean! The allergy excuse sounds like a good one to me!

SandC · 14 August 2008 at 11:59AM

Beauty things are not my scene either. It is a difficult one, but the bride should consider everyone's situation when it comes to hen parties. You could get a night away somewhere for that sort of money! Even a day at a health spa somewhere which would include meals.

Seriously I would gently explain you can't afford it - after all no doubt you will be going to more expense for the wedding itself? It's better to say no early on rather than back out closer to the date.

Dinah93 · 14 August 2008 at 12:19PM

Expensive wedding things in general are my pet hate. I don't have a lot of money spare at the moment. Have a wedding in September to go to where we are invited to the ceremony, but then not the meal after, but then invited back at 7.30 to the reception (no food there). This does bug me a bit as finding a way to amuse ourselves for 7 hours seems a pain, I had to take a day off work to go, and my holiday time is very valuable to me since my OH currently lives in another country and we travel back and forth a couple of times a month, and the hotel where the reception is held is 15 miles from the ceremony so the options are
a) Drive, take ourselves off for a meal between ceremony and reception then drive out to the hotel, then either pay £180 :eek: for a night in the hotel or don't drink and drive home (about 40 mins)
b) Get a bus to the ceremony, bus to somewhere with food, taxi out to the hotel and get my dad to come pick us up afterwards as a special favour!

Neither option is going to come in at under £100 for the two of us, plus the holiday day, I feel like I have to go as I do want to see her get married, and she was one of my best friends in my teenage years, but between the gift, the hen day out, and the wedding I'm going to be looking at the best part of £250 and I've only met the bloke she's marrying twice!

swiss69 · 14 August 2008 at 12:58PM

For me it depends on how much cash you have. If you have none then you have an excuse. If you have plenty then I would say go. At least your drinks etc will be cheap as it will be take your own. Wouldnt you spend about this on a night in a restauarant somewhere followed by drinks anyway?

If you are totally skint and have lots of debt etc then I agree that prudence is the key! however there is nothing more annoying than people who have lots of money and all they do is save save save. They end up with a shed load of cash when they retire and still dont spend it. Saving becomes a habit that is difficult to break. Me and my mates still talk about stag do's and trips away that we did ten years agao. spending a bit here and there creates memories...

lady_stardust · 14 August 2008 at 1:56PM

Dinah93 wrote: »

Have a wedding in September to go to where we are invited to the ceremony, but then not the meal after, but then invited back at 7.30 to the reception (no food there)

This strikes me as really mean! If you want people to come to your wedding for anything other than just the evening you should really feed them, and it's good form to provide snacks in the evening for those who didn't make the meal.

hannahsmummy1 · 14 August 2008 at 3:57PM

Its becoming the norm these days things like that. For my hen night i went 'back home' instead of people coming to me! I paid for everything- doing their t-shirts, drinks at my mums before, party bags. Then when when we got married everyone was invited to the whole day (less hassle actually!) and the day before was spent at my house where i had invited everyone that was going to be at the wedding for a huge chinese- which we paid for. I wouldnt have dreamt of asking my nearest & dearest for 75 quid to cover the costs etc of my hen night!

*Louise* · 14 August 2008 at 5:14PM

lady_stardust wrote: »

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dinah93
Have a wedding in September to go to where we are invited to the ceremony, but then not the meal after, but then invited back at 7.30 to the reception (no food there)

This strikes me as really mean! If you want people to come to your wedding for anything other than just the evening you should really feed them, and it's good form to provide snacks in the evening for those who didn't make the meal.

I was thinking the same. Every wedding I have been to has had a buffet at the evening do. And usually an invite to the ceremony means an invite to the meal. Maybe the bride and groom are only having immediate family for the meal to cut the cost, but it seems rather cheeky to expect people to go an amuse themselves for 7 hours, especially when so far from home.

Dinah - perhaps you should go for the don't drink and then drive home option - will certainly be much cheaper than the other options. And the money you save on drink - perhaps you and your OH could have a nice meal out together to kill some time?

If it were me, I would skip the ceremony and just go to the evening do, to make life much easier (and save taking a day off work) but I'm not a lover of attending weddings.

bringmeshoes · 14 August 2008 at 6:30PM

As others have said it depends on how close you are to the bride
last year for my sisters wedding a group of us went to centre parcs for 3 days (she also had a night out for those people who could not afford/make centreparcs) my sis did check howmany people wanted to go before she booked it. My sis wanted everyone to wear pink ladies jackets but she paid for them as she said she wanted them and people had already paid enough to go away, we had a whale of a time!

chloecc · 15 September 2008 at 1:43PM

i think it is a sad society we live in these days where you feel bad if you can't afford to go on a hen do, i've had to decline a few this year, because i genuinely have had to pick and choose them as i seem to have hit a time in my life where all of my friends are getting married/having babies - Its a shame that so many of these bridezillas make you feel bad for not being able to afford their big plans. If I ever get to this stage i really would be happy with my closest friends all gettign together and just having a laugh pouring over old photos, a lot of wine and maybe a take away with a spot of dancing like loonies to old 80's songs! - Beats trips abroad where half of the party dont want to be there or mountain biking/pole dancing/quad biking days out where people only tend to resent you for making them feel bad for not wanting to go

MrsTinks · 15 September 2008 at 2:27PM

Depending on the treatments I don't think it's outrageously expensive... we had a joint hen and stag which involved go-carting and then out for meal at Pizza Express followed by drinks down a nearby pub - was a good crack and those who didn't want to do the carting were happy to watch the rest of us make a hash of it all!
We wanted paintballing but I bruise easily and I didn't want any leftover bruises on my wedding day!!!
I guess it all depends on what treatments they are... but basically near me a pedicure is £20+ manicure £20+ and a mini facial £20+ so that's £60 for just the cheapest stuff... my facial usually costs £60 on it's own... but then it IS a special treat

If you can't afford £75 then just say it's too expensive... I'm going to a wedding in Nov where we'll have to cough up well over £100 for a room for the night - I won't be able to drink as pregnant so seriously thinking of saying sorry we'll drive the 100 miles home afterwards thanks... There isn't a hen do but a baby shower so again 100 miles there and again back in one day - then gift for baby shower and another for the wedding... well... Have to say I'm tempted to just send the present to be honest - I'm not even particularly close to the hen/bride and I already spend way too long in the car every week - 200 miles+ extra is NOT filling me with joy...

£75 for a hen party??

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