Still not learned my lesson

elantan · 3 February 2008 at 2:48PM

well as some of you know i finally became df last year which is a good thing and i had been doing well slipping slightly back into the od but not too much that i had to worry...some of you might remember that my main money problem comes with the dreaded visa cards i got a american expressone last year that gives cash back so that's good...thing is i have started spending crazily on this card i mentioned this to someone the other day and they suggested i confess i was trying to put this off but as usual that person is right (always has been) anyway there i was on friday and i spent £50 on yankee candles i mean candles for !!!! sake ...and this isnt the first thing i have wasted money on i have previously tried freezing the card but as soon as i needed it i just melted it with water from the kettle so that doesnt work. Now i have written on an envelope "DO YOU WANT TO PAY OFF YOUR MORTGAGE EARLY?" AND "DO YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT ROUND THE WORLD TRIP" "FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY" and sealed it so i have to look at it before i use it...then today i bought hubby a talking heads dvd i did this as i felt so guilty for me spending all the money i did ...do you think it will work or can anyone suggest anything else

benbenandme · 3 February 2008 at 2:52PM

Just live on here permanently then you won't have time to spend money

benbenandme · 3 February 2008 at 2:53PM

Seriously though, I don't know your situation too well but how about saying that yes you can spend money ... but it has to be extra money you've generated ... eg. money from ebay / quidco etc. That way you wouldn't be depriving yourself of treats but you will have to find some way of paying for them other thn your normal income, which would mean that your usual income can go towards debt payments??

elantan · 3 February 2008 at 2:54PM

that's a good idea i will add it to my list of things to try ..no harm in trying lol

redsquirrel80 · 3 February 2008 at 2:57PM

Are you giving yourself a budget for treats? If you're being very strict with yourself budget-wise then maybe this is your 'act of rebellion' against that.

If you've got out of the habit of budgeting since being DF, what about doing a current SOA, including an affordable monthly amount for nice things?

Just a thought.. x

elantan · 3 February 2008 at 3:02PM

i'm lucky in a way that i get what ever i want when i want it i dont really have a budget for treats it's more just what i want but i think spending £50 in candles is just boardering on the ridiculous i only got 3 of them ..i'mnot really out of the budgetting habit though infact if anything because i am trying to become mortgage free i am better at it ...it was just i went out saw the cards reached in my purse and used the visa without even thinking about it ...have now removed it from my purse and put it in the envelope in the drawer i dont have a debit card (thankfully i asked to get the facility taken away) and i now only transfer £100 very thursday that has to do hubby and i for the week and to be honest with you it does were getting good at that bit it's just the visa (which has always been a problem for me)

mrs-d_3 · 3 February 2008 at 3:07PM

Would it help reading about other people's debt and the struggle they are going through? Look at your debt free life as a treat. I think we all tend to forget to value little things in life and so splash out on expensive things seeing it as treats. Be strong.

Burlesque_Babe · 3 February 2008 at 3:19PM

I've been tempted by Yankee Candles before elantan, they sound lovely, but the price does scare me a tad!!

I know how you feel. I put £180 on the CC before Christmas. I've paid off £100 this month and I'll pay off the remaining £80 next month, but it was on silly stuff that I could have got cheaper (Christmas meat was one of the items).

If you can't trust yourself with it, cut it up, pay it off and call them to close the account.

If you can afford them and they can be built into your budget - remember - you are allowed to buy things!! Although saying that, I bought a CD on a whim last week, it's good but i've put it on Ebay already as I won't play it loads and if I want to hear the tracks I can always listen on You Tube.

I don't know how bad your situation got, but if it got as far as the harrassing phone calls, constant nasty letters and threats, sit for a few minutes and bring all those sensations of worry back, the lack of sleep, the fear of the phone ringing, the dread of the postman deliverying the mail............not nice......:( Now think about how good it feels to be debt free - and vow never ever to be in a situation where those feelings are real rather than imagined.

chivas · 3 February 2008 at 3:20PM

Hi!

Firstly, well done on getting DF

If your cc is only for emergencies, then could you give it to a trusted friend (maybe the one you mentioned?!) so whenever you need it you have ask to get it back. Would defiinitely help with those impulse buys. And just having to ask for a cc to (i.e.) spend £50 on candles - might make you consider it more!

Good luck

tara66_2 · 3 February 2008 at 3:20PM

Hi Elantan
Have been lurkin on the boards for a while and have always loved following your diary. You have done really well to get to this point and you work really hard, so I wouldn't get too stressed about the candles, now you have them you might as well enjoy.

With regards to the credit card, having one for the cashback benefit is a great idea, but it isn't for everyone. If it is stressin you out then you may need to think about gettin rid of it for now. I'm sure you will sort somethin out, good luck with it.
T

postingalwaysposting · 3 February 2008 at 3:22PM

elantan i agree with the other posters, make sure you allow for treats. As for the card, i think the envelope is a good idea but i know its a cash back card but cant you close the account? or just snip the card up? That way the card is still showing each month on your credit record but you arnt using it?

I am now debt free as you know and i must say being debt free i think is harder than being in debt. Purely because you have to have your own motivation to save/opverpay your mortgage whereas when you were in debt you were paying it off to stop your house being repossed etc etc. I think there is a fine balance between saving/spending/bills. Its about getting that balance. That will take time but i am sure you will get there.

good luck :j

Still not learned my lesson

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