Week 2 - There's so much we can do.

RubySewSew · 29 September 2010 at 1:37PM

Sold 2 things on amazon straight away for the grand profit of £4.58!! Amazon are so tight that they charge postage but don't pass that cost on!

So, books are listed. Ebay next.

RubySewSew · 1 October 2010 at 7:24PM

Oh money savers, money savers, money savers. I want to give you good news. I want to say that I'm back on track. I want to direct you to Cheery Daffs diary where I've had some revelations over the past couple of days. I want to say that we had an amazing store cupboard bake off and made yummy blueberry muffins and banana flapjacks using up stuff that was on the turn. What I actually have to tell you is that I've just had the rug pulled out from under me again. Yesterday saw what would have been my 10th wedding anniversary and a rough anniversary of a 3 and a half year separation. Our divorce has been pending for at least 2 and a half years of that and my ex has a new baby with his partner. We have both moved on and I am desperate for closure. We've had an agreement in place for the last 18 months and I'd talked to him about formalising this giving him a draft consent order. Sent the final draft to him for printing and signing and yesterday and suddenly out of nowhere he has changed his mind. The first I hear of it is a letter outlining why he can no longer continue to support his children to the level he does because he has to consider his new family. He has made me an offer in the interest of expedience that would mean a £200 pm reduction in maintenance payments (a 30% reduction). His evidence is that my income must be substantial because I'm working 3 jobs, the third being as a cleaner. There are so many anguishes and anxieties and disappointments, most of which are too personal and tedious to express here but the thing that frightens me most is how am I going to manage? I am already struggling to make ends meet and this reduction in income could quite possibly bankrupt me. And how do I avoid dragging my children into what is about to become a bitterly fought battle? And how am I going to afford a solicitor, a luxury I have so far managed to avoid to my own detriment, when I have minus disposable income? I don't qualify for legal aid. Despite my situation my income is considered to high.

Utterly lost. Overwhelmed. Lost. Frightened. Desperate. Any advice really appreciated.

Mags30 · 1 October 2010 at 8:18PM

Oh Ruby you sound so stressed, right now the only thing I can think of is the Memorygirl Matrix. Have you posted there? They seem to be able to fix everything.

scaredy_cat · 1 October 2010 at 8:42PM

Ruby, i may sound callous but so what if he's got children with his current gf!! That doesn't mean he caan give up responsibility of yours!!!! Go to the CAB and see what they advise. Has the CSA been contacted at all?

Tregemred · 1 October 2010 at 8:52PM

RubySewSew wrote: »

Oh money savers, money savers, money savers. I want to give you good news. I want to say that I'm back on track. I want to direct you to Cheery Daffs diary where I've had some revelations over the past couple of days. I want to say that we had an amazing store cupboard bake off and made yummy blueberry muffins and banana flapjacks using up stuff that was on the turn. What I actually have to tell you is that I've just had the rug pulled out from under me again. Yesterday saw what would have been my 10th wedding anniversary and a rough anniversary of a 3 and a half year separation. Our divorce has been pending for at least 2 and a half years of that and my ex has a new baby with his partner. We have both moved on and I am desperate for closure. We've had an agreement in place for the last 18 months and I'd talked to him about formalising this giving him a draft consent order. Sent the final draft to him for printing and signing and yesterday and suddenly out of nowhere he has changed his mind. The first I hear of it is a letter outlining why he can no longer continue to support his children to the level he does because he has to consider his new family. He has made me an offer in the interest of expedience that would mean a £200 pm reduction in maintenance payments (a 30% reduction). His evidence is that my income must be substantial because I'm working 3 jobs, the third being as a cleaner. There are so many anguishes and anxieties and disappointments, most of which are too personal and tedious to express here but the thing that frightens me most is how am I going to manage? I am already struggling to make ends meet and this reduction in income could quite possibly bankrupt me. And how do I avoid dragging my children into what is about to become a bitterly fought battle? And how am I going to afford a solicitor, a luxury I have so far managed to avoid to my own detriment, when I have minus disposable income? I don't qualify for legal aid. Despite my situation my income is considered to high.

Utterly lost. Overwhelmed. Lost. Frightened. Desperate. Any advice really appreciated.

Dear Ruby,

I was directed here by Mags30 and can only repeat her invitation to join the Memorygirl thread. We support each other, make suggestions and offer help where we can. Most of all, we no longer feel alone against the dark.

TGR

Memory_Girl · 1 October 2010 at 9:07PM

Oh sweetie - you have been in the wars.

Come on over and lets see if we can find you some informal legal advice as to what you can do - and maybe find a way of helping you find a less stressfull balancing act for you and the kids.

We don't just offer hugs - theres loads of talented and helpful peeps who are working minor miracles with the most practical of solutions.

Memorygirl

Cheery_Daff · 2 October 2010 at 1:55AM

Oh Ruby

(((((((((ruby and family)))))))))))) deep breaths lass, he can't just decide to stop paying you. And working 3 jobs does NOT mean you're loaded, as you well know! I can't give you any practical advice, other than to drink tea, pop over to as many cheery threads as you can, ask for help, try to stay as positive as possible, and carry on keeping the kids out of it. Sorry, slightly incoherent, it's late, but wanted to say I'm thinking of you and will see how you're doing in the morning. Hope you managed to get some sleep
xx

moo2moo · 2 October 2010 at 6:19AM

Ex-OH is a wankmeister extraodinaire. Just because he decided to have more children doesn't make the children he already has any less valuable. It doesn't sound like hes helping out much as it is without reducing that figure because if he was helpingout you wouldn't be totally exhausted and working three jobs and still struggling. What an imbecile!

On to more positive things. If you work in a school you have a staff room - home to a captive audience with money buring a hole in its pocket - which makes it the perfect platform to sell your home made cards. Put them in a basket on a table with a jar for money and wait and see. Birthday cards will fly out of there at an astronomical rate as will Christmas cards and valentines cards and anything that makes them smile. In fact as proof teachers will buy anything and everything we have five different companies who drop off randm boxes of carp which sells. I mean who knew you ever needed egg cosies (like tea pot covers but for boiled eggs)?

Helen105 · 2 October 2010 at 12:00PM

Hi Ruby
Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

I agree with Scaredy Cat that you need to get down to the CAB asap for proper advice.

I've seen you on Memory Girl's thread so you will know what I mean when I say that this seems to be what Mr Big calls a turning point, an event which may be very unpleasant which jolts you into taking stock of where you are and where you want to be.

Good luck

Eager_Elephant · 3 October 2010 at 8:46AM

Hi Ruby

I too have come over from MG's thread.

I don't know much about child maintenance (except I barely get any!!) but I am a Debt Adviser.

I'm not sure if you have ever posted a SOA but could you do this, if you are worried maybe you could PM me and I will have a look for you and see if I can help either if the money is cut or even if it is isn't to help you manage month to month.

If you do put some details up could you also include info on the house, mortgage etc.

Thanks

EE

Week 2 - There's so much we can do.

Comments

Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

🚀 Getting Started

Categories

Is this how you want to be seen?

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free