Week 2 - There's so much we can do.

Mags30

RubySewSew wrote: »

Something very lovely did happen today. My little brother, who is by no means well off (he works in a factory) sent me a message today to say that he could spare me £200 a month if I needed. I was so touched. I was also saddened that another man has more sense of responsibility towards my kids than their own father. I turned him down but realise that if it came to it I could get him to cover the £40 a month for the kids to go to circus club. !

Perhaps you should take him up on this. I HATE taking money from other people but this wouldn't be for you, it woud be something he was doing for his nephews which would be really nice. Perhaps he could take them to the club too if he likes spending time with them. £200 a month is such a generous offer but too much to accept really. Mr Big does say we should accept all offers of help:)

RubySewSew

I've never been able to accept help. I've managed to never borrow money from anyone other than the bank. I let my Dad pay for my divorce thus far (a slight subversion of tradition but all the more meaningful for it!) and my Mum sent me a Russian Doll stuffed full of cash last summer when I completely ran out of money, food and petrol. I can apparently only accept help when it is foisted upon me. Its not a principle exactly (I let my boyfriend sub me quite a bit) I'm just genetically made up to feel bad about letting people give me stuff.

RubySewSew

Ok, I have redone my Statement to take into account the things that need to be budgeted for and haven't. Thus far, I have always approached my budget by paying for the fixed outgoings, essentials and debts then using whatever is left over for all the other stuff. I can see that this isn't working.

I will post the new version - it's scrawled in bright colours across a flipchart on my living room floor at the moment. Having budgeted to save for all those extras I've worked out that I have £168 a month to spend on debt repayments. I'm currently paying £317! So the scary bit I guess is contacting the lenders and negotiating a reduction in payments. This really frightens me. I also need a clean balance sheet to run a new account from which is the point Eager-Elephant was making. I'm not sure what the situation is with this - if I apply for a basic current account will I get one? I have planned to reorganise my accounts in part to separate business costs from household costs. On the optimistic side, this is all based on my minimum income - most months I do usually have a bit extra coming in from somewhere.

Earlier this year, I made 3 Student Loan repayments totalling £390 whilst I was waiting for my deferment to come through. I don't know if I should ask them to refund the payments in order to reduce my overdraft liability? Or is this just robbing Peter to pay Paul? I also wonder where I stand with reclaiming charges?

Haven't heard anything from the ex-OH so far. He picked the boys up earlier and was quite normal with me. He was also unusually considerate when asking me if I could look after DS1 today who is sick from school.

Not quite a no spend day. Managed to find the £10 for circus club by transferring £1.27 into a savings account in order to withdraw a tenner! Had to pay £3.30 to post a book sold on Amazon so still a fiver in profit. Was going to buy beans and cheese to go with jacket spuds for tea but decided to reheat the homemade baked beans from last night. I knew it wouldn't be popular but the chickens enjoyed it! I do feel bad though as I was meant to sort out dinner for me and the boyfriend. Instead I'm feeling ill on the sofa (again) so he's shopped, cleaned and cooked.

I'm also facing up to not having any money for the weekend. There's a show I was hoping to go to and we always go to the pub for Sunday lunch. It's our fortnightly ritual - pub lunch, papers and crossword. Not sure how I'm going to manage this week. That is the only downside to the new budget. Treats and outings and luxuries are going to have to be earned separately - selling stuff, extra work, however I can.

It seems like phase 2 of my debtfree adventure is beginning...

RubySewSew

I have had a lovely weekend. Had to get up on Saturday morning because the boyfriend wanted to go and look at a car. His is about to collapse so he sold his motorbike to cover the cost It wasn't any good. He did find a beautiful vintage Morris Minor that wanted a new home - oh, if only! One day

Had a lovely drive along the coast to see a Mapplethorpe exhibition. That was pretty cool, I got pretty excited particularly trying to explain it to the boyfriend who doesn't really appreciate photography as art. He reckons it was a bit like a lot of Athena posters! I tried explaining about depth of field and light meters etc etc but to no avail. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny weekend so enjoyed a stroll down the pier. The bf treated me to lunch so free lunch, free sunshine, free art and free entertainment. A dvd in the evening meant a no spend day!

Sunday, lie in, diy and pub lunch (my lovely bf paid again - I think he realises how crap things are at the moment). Beat my Dad at the crossword for the first time ever! I paid for drinks from the newsagent and the paper. I thought it was the least I could do, feeling a bit guilty about being such a financial liability. So, low spend rather than no spend.

MSE activities this weekend included - emptying the car, studying the budgets until my eyes bled & going to the farm for straw rather than the pet shop (only £6 for a bale and a massive bag of sawdust). And my sewing friend asked me to do a Christmas fayre with her so I need to get making!

I have got a lot to be getting on with. Am feeling vulnerable both at work and with the self employed work. The former because having had a week off sick I'm due to go back tomorrow but I have a pukey ds2 to look after. The latter because the way our self employed contracts work is being changed to our detriment. As a local group we have decided to make a stand which risks losing our contracts altogether. Maybe the universe is pointing me in a different direction. It doesn't make sense to work so hard and still be so broke.

Have no milk tomorrow, no money for school swimming and no lunches/money. Bum. I did pop to Sainsbury's but then remembered I'd left all my cards at home on purpose. I haven't got any money on any of them anyway! I keep checking to see if my invoices have been authorised yet. I need the next little pot of money to come in. And quickly. No point worrying about it now.

Result! Just remembered I have a milka dime bar hidden in my bag! Hoorah. Have a date with some chocolate!

RubySewSew

Where has this week gone? I've had a mad one. Monday was an inset day and also had to teach at the university. The invoicing system there is a bit strange so I invoice at the end of the academic year. Tuesday I was due to go back to work but DS2 was sick. Went back on Weds to a 'return to work meeting' which is an entirely pointless exercise - they tell me its bad to be off work, I tell them there was nothing I could do, they nod sympathetically. Bureaucracy is so frustrating! I've been referred to occupational health (policy!) and it has been pointed out that my level of absence is not tenable and I am on probation. I know! I'm surprisingly calm about this. At the end of the day, if I can't put my children and my health first then I don't want to be doing to the job, it's just not worth it. I think I'm feeling a general surrender to fate at the moment.

As an aside, I'm watching a woman in the Phillipines being evicted from her house in the slum with her 10 children. They have nowhere to go. There is always somebody worse off than you. For that poor woman, much much worse off.

I'm not sure how much of this I've mentioned but my self employed contracts are under threat and courses that have been booked for at least 9 months are being cancelled at very short notice, leaving me with no income. Both my courses for this month were cancelled (bad news) and then I was offered another course by another teacher (good news financially but will involve more work as I will have to transport my resources as well as travel). So just back on an even keel when I find out that my November course has been cancelled to. My initial reaction was panic and desperation. After sleeping on it I realised that I have to be the one to change something. You can't choose what happens to you but you can always make choices about how you deal with it. So, inspired by Memory Girl, I realised that I need to make the most of my skills. I feel an incredible amount of loyalty to the charity I work for and to my fellow teachers but this cannot continue. I need to be able to support my family. I also want to fulfil my potential as an educator and to better support the women in my care. I have lots of ethical dilemmas to resolve - I object strongly to how pregnant women are exploited. I think though that a supportive business which gently turns a profit rather than extracting every penny from expectant mothers is viable. I also hope to run it as a co-operative. I'm hoping to start a business that supports my principles and beliefs as well as my family.

But before I do all that I need to clean my house, do some shopping and make a big fat coffee and walnut cake!! Yum yum!!

Before I go I wanted to share a recipe with you. We had beautiful spaghetti sauce for dinner. Pretty cheap as we tend to have parmesan in the fridge and basil around (the boyfriend buys it not me!).

1 small onion finely chopped - sweat in olive oil for 10 mins then add 1 tin of tomatoes blended, 1-2 cloves of garlic crushed and 1/2 - 1 tsp of dried chilli. Bring to boil and cook vigorously for 3 mins.
pasta cooked in salted water, drain, toss in butter. Stir in sauce and good handful of grated parmesan. Season and shred handful of basil leaves over top. Serve and gobble. Yum!

Serves 4. Seemed worth sharing as it was quick, cheap and delicious!

Off to watch Come Dine With Me!

RubySewSew

I am a hideous stress head today. Urgh, I really don't like myself very much, shouty, snappy and grumpy. I think I need to do some reflecting on why I'm being like this...

Thus far today I have achieved:
a lie in
pancakes for breakfast
tidying, sorting and cleaning the boy's room
2 loads of washing (although it's raining now )
feeding the children (even if it was 2.30 before they had any lunch!)
sitting down with a cup of tea to do this!

Still to do:
clean hallway and stairs
clean front room
clean kitchen
clean bathroom
put washing away
sort out wardrobe
sort out stuff for sale
dye my hair and paint my nails
make shepherds pie for tea

and this weekend I must:
list some stuff on ebay
sew labels in DS3's PE kit (whoops! Bit late!)
Find £30 to go to the apple fayre tomorrow

Yesterday I found out about a big pre-Christmas 2nd hand fayre in Brighton and so i have emailed to enquire about a table. With all these fayres lined up I better start making some stuff!!

Need to make up to the boyfriend as I have been just horrible today. Struggling financially makes me unbearable to be around!

Once the house is clean and tidy I have loads of home improvements I'm desperate to get stuck into. I think that is adding to my grumpiness as it's making me resent any time I have to spend on anything else (cooking, cleaning, working etc!).

Ok, rant, rant, rant, grump, grump, grump. Time to go and clean my house see if I can find where I left my positivity!

RubySewSew

I am now sat on the sofa with red wine and coffee cake. I have not liked myself today but I am quite happy now.


clean hallway and stairs - tick
clean front room - tick
clean kitchen - tick
clean bathroom - tick
put washing away - tick
sort out wardrobe
sort out stuff for sale
dye my hair and paint my nails
make shepherds pie for tea - tick and yum!

Bring on tomorrow, apple fayre, roast and papers!! And please, please no-one be ill on Monday.

RubySewSew

Apple festival was wicked! Had loads of fun followed by a big fat roast followed by the most scrumptious blackberry upside down cake with real custard. Nom nom nom!

Managed to get all 3 boys to school today. I came home, tidied up, put on 2 loads of washing and then tackled the filing. 2 years worth!!! Had a reorganise, batched up old stuff for the loft and put stuff aside for my tax return. Some of it is still admittedly in piles on the floor - why does that always happen? And I did manage to sneak in a little nap. Lunch was leftover roast chicken sandwiches and dinner was pasta bake made with leftover bacon, leftover sauce and leftover mozzarella. Only cost me a £1 for the pasta

Bad news managed to clock up £70 of charges on my account for returned items. Bum bum bum. And bum again. I could have bought the boys winter coats with that and still had change. What a waste. I don't know how to stop the cycle of charges. On this occasion it is because I've been waiting for more than 2 weeks for my invoices to be approved.

It does seem a waste of time costing dinner at a quid to then wipe out 70 on nothing. The banks are just perpetuating this cycle of debt.

I've just posted in a bit more detail on Cheery Daff's diary about work and what to do in that regard. I need some of Memory Girl's momentum! And bravery! I have booked another Christmas craft fayre in the centre of Brighton and there is also the possibility of selling cakes to.

Hmmm, got the munchies. Not the real munchies. The stressy slightly bored munchies. Why does being poor make me want to eat more?!

RubySewSew

PS How cold is it?!! I've been at home with my scarf on all day!!

Cheery_Daff

Hi Ruby, just popped over to give you a hug and some cheery vibes for the time of decision you've found yourself in! It does rather seem like your self employed income is rather unreliable at the minute - a bit sad, but how fab that you can look at it from a different angle and ask yourself 'what can I do myself to sort this out?'

You said you found being employed difficult - is that because you don't like the structure? Or is it this particular job? There's an advantage to a regular income! But I know what you mean about not wanting to feel tied to it. But might it be an option to carry this on for now until you've sorted out what you want to do about your self employed work?

Sounds like you've half decided the teacher training isn't for you right now.

Also sounds like a patchwork lifestyle may well be what you have, and you wouldn't go far wrong in aiming to add a couple more patches! :j Might you feel like your income is more reliable if it wasn't all coming from one source? Could you offer your education classes to somewhere else too? (sorry if this doesn't work, not entirely sure how it works for you!). Also sounds like you'd love to learn dressmaking! (so would I! ) Is there a course, or would you like to start doing it yourself?

No advice at all in there! Just being nosey and asking lots more questions

Good luck, hope you manage to sort through it all xx