Week 2 - There's so much we can do.

RubySewSew

Have managed to track down the baskets thread and am inspired! I think I have only managed to find a fraction of the content on the site so far - there is so much fantastic information!

Have just got in from work. Had a pretty chilled out day today - me and DS3 on the sofa for the most part. We had a little splurge on cakes and hot chocolate and I also made the decision to finally, finally buy some blinds after being woken up at 6am this morning. So £50 on blinds for the boys room. Proper, posh blackout blinds. £25 on a blackout blind for my room, still need to find an internal blind that will give privacy but let light through. And finally, I have ordered blinds for the front room - another £45. I slightly feel the need to justify the spend but we have lived here for 2 years with inadequate window coverings and I never sort out the curtains in a house until I'm about to sell it! I figured that the point it is affecting mine and everyone else's sleep I need to do something about it. So watch this space - fingers crossed we will all get a full night tonight!

It occurred to me that one of the reasons I struggle so much with the budget mid month and I am likely to give up is because I have absolutely no idea what is going on. My money comes in in dribs and drabs and after a rough couple of months I find myself continuously having to move money between accounts. I can never work out exactly how much I've spent because I use a mix of cash and debit card and credit card. Before you panic - I only use the credit card for the budgeted monthly shop and always pay it off in full. However, the payment month doesn't tally in with my spending month so I'm constantly confused. it's also going to backfire on me this month because I set the limit to match my monthly food budget without realising that I would actually need the limit to be 2 month's budget as the months would overlap so will have to pay credit card bill and monthly shopping budget this month! I saw an old lady in Sainsbury's with her cash wrapped in a little individual cash bag presumably piggy banked and I thought how simple a cash society must be. you've either got it or you haven't and you can't spend it if you haven't got it. Maybe I need to try this next month.

I have been wondering about finding a cheap break for me and the boys in half term. I think we could all do with a bit of down time together, particularly now I'm at work. I feel unable to commit financially because I don't know what is going on with my finances. I hate making these decisions. I actually really think we need to get away together as a family. We had a very cheap summer holiday (stayed with my sister and spent only £33 all week) but for lots of reasons it was very stressful. It would be nice to be somewhere where I'm not preoccupied with chores and work, where we could play games and read books and ride bikes and swim and eat and sleep. I can talk myself into or out of anything - I ened somebody unbiased to tell me what to do!

Jumping back a bit, has anybody else had any success with keeping a spending diary? I find I'm always too busy and rushed to keep it properly. Any tips?

I think I'm having my mid-month crisis. Which isn't a euphemism, I'm just spotting a trend for a mid month financial crash!

mrs_robinson_3

Just popping in.....I know the place in the Laines you mention very well, Ruby - Shopper's Paradise, right? And yes, the prices are mad there these days - have bought a few things there over the years, though, but of course that was silly old Mrs R, not frugal MSE Mrs R.

The good news is (you probably know this Ruby, but some reading might not, and might find themselves in Brighton sometime soon).......there is a big old warehouse type place just around the corner, which has some lovely things and is much more sensibly priced. Trouble is, I can get myself there, but don't know the names of any of the streets to direct anyone else! But if it helps, it normally has a board on the pavement on a Saturday, and it is beyond fab. They have some lovely battered Chesterfield sofas, normally, that I seriously covet once I've paid Richard Branson back what I owe him. In the meantime, I dream on.....

Mrs R

RubySewSew

Blimey, what a week. When the boyfriend pointed out that I've worked 3 14 hour days this week it put things into perspective. I've been kicked, fought, hit, pulled and threatened with a metal bar. I've cleaned, I've nursed, I've fed. I've had a cold. I've got over a cold. I've been so tired I've cried. I also was helped out by two different friends and given some yummy cake. And my neighbour just popped in to give me some grasmere gingerbread from her holiday. I've given up my cleaning because it is just too much. I've been offered extra hours at work. I'm not sure whether I should take them. It would involve being in sole care of the child who threatened me with the bar. For a ridiculously small amount of money. I have a birthday party to go to tomorrow, guests staying over on Sunday and am being assessed on Tuesday. I'm tired and my shoulder is frozen. I spent the money from my last cleaning job on pizza for me and the boys. I haven't even had time to worry about money this week.

So that is just some of the thoughts in my head and happenings in my week. Oh, and I met a lovely new sewing friend.

RubySewSew

Funnily enough Mrs R, I found the said same place on the way home. Haven't had a chance to go in and have a poke around yet. Will save it up as a treat next time I have a kids free weekend!

savingholmes

hi ruby - you have to look after yourself and your health first - everything else should come pretty much second...

RubySewSew

Dear reader,

I am so sorry! I have been so indulged in my own financial misery and tiredness this week that I couldn't bring myself to inflict it upon you! So I will give you a precis:

Monday: I can barely remember Monday. I think I was teaching. I was definitely highly strung. I think the boyfriend came round to try and recompense for the fact that I was so crabby at the weekend. My Dad and stepmum flew to Italy. I did have delicious left over meatballs and spaghetti for lunch. Yum.

Tuesday: I became the worst mother in the world. Had a crabby crappy day. Got told off at work. This is something I'm really not used to. I've been self employed and a well respected autonomous practitioner for the last 10 years. I've thrust myself into a classroom and all off the politics that goes with it. I've had no training. no orientation, no job description and no outline of responsibilities. Was being scapegoated for things that were totally outside of my control. I'm not going to go on about it too much but this was combined with the looming threat of a review for my evening class - an assessor and paperwork. Eek! I was super stressed vile mummy repeatedly snapping at the boys 'I'm working!'. Ergh, why?! I don't do any of this to be like that. Oh, other super stress for Tuesday was the arrival of the oven which a dear and sweet friend had to take delivery of as they advised me at 5.30 the previous day that they would be coming between 10 and 2 whilst I was at work. After transferring emergency funds, realised that they had in fact delivered and charged for the more expensive oven without advising me. So now, I have credit card payments and utilities due and not a penny to cover them or stop them from bouncing.

Wednesday: And breathe... much, much calmer. The review went reassuringly brilliantly. My assessor felt the same way about the paperwork and was pleased with my teaching.

Thursday: Crash! Bump! That was me falling back down to earth. Worked am and then stopped off for a lovely cup of tea and a rant with my lovely friend. She sat me down in front of The Inbetweeners which was even funnier 2nd time around. Cried laughing and realised that friends, laughter and tea will always be available no matter how broke you are.

Friday: Mostly spent ignoring how broke I am. Had inset day at school and a chance to have a proper chat about the extra hours offered. I will actually be doing individual nurture with 2 very vulnerable children so although I know it will be hard work I'm looking forward to it. Roasted a beautiful organic chicken that I had stashed in the freezer when it was on the reduced counter. And I made a cake! A beautiful, fluffy, yellow victoria aponge with my own homemade blackberry jam. I can't even begin to tell you how happy this made me. I've lived here for 2 years with a barely functioning oven yet still assumed I had lost my baking touch. Every penny of that oven was worth it just to be able to bake cakes again. And it's the weekend!!! And the boys are with their Dad. And I've cleaned my house! Hoorah! Crack open the wine!

Saturday: A lie in gives the world a bit more perspective. Pop to the pharmacist to pick up prescription (have horrendous rash under my arms - probably a reaction to something. Stress maybe?!). Mooch around discount bookstore whilst I'm waiting. I don't buy 2 cookery books I have been lusting after for a while but decide instead to put them on my Christmas list. I do buy 2 half price books for DS1 and 2 for Christmas. My card is declined. Risk putting it on my credit card even though i know the payment has bounced because of the oven. Go home in tears, of frustration mostly. THe boyfriend is suitably sympathetic and supportive. Decide to look at it pragmatically. I have some coins bagged up but the bank is now closed. Decide to go and exchange them at one of those machines - my £23 in coppers (a whole years worth) is converted into a voucher for £21. The BF shops for dinner and I donate a £4.50 voucher I have. We drive into town. I buy a £5 pot of hair colour - the problem with having hair this red is I have to colour it every week. I change up 5 empty pots for a fresh facemask in lush. Pick up my new glasses already paid for and return an unwanted dress. I decide to look for a new watch as it is becoming increasingly apparent I will need one for work. I hate wearing a watch so visualise a little fob watch on a long chain. And I find one! Hoorah. Went for a pootle around the street market and antiques centre/flea market aforementioned here - Upper Gardener Street for future reference and found one straight away. £20 and its lovely. Not sure its keeping time though
Homemade pizza for tea and a catch up on This is England. And a lot more wine!

Sunday: So bringing us up to date. Had a mammoth lie in. Wandered down to world food fair. Had no cash so indulged in tastes and titbits. Oh and a pint of local ale. Yummy! Wandered back and christened the oven with a fantastic roast and apple and blackberry crumble (the latter which I'm about to go facedown in ). And I have read the weekend papers for the first time in weeks. A sure sign that I am more relaxed and my stress levels are returning to normal. And I get paid next week - hurrah!

savingholmes

hurrah for pay day

sounds like a lot has been going on... it might help you to do some positive visualisation of what you would like from the next week - and then subconsciously your mind will work to achieve it!

RubySewSew

I'm about to do me a little bit of life coaching. The problem is I say yes to everything because there is so much I want to achieve and physically not enough time to do it all. Gonna have a brainstorm and look at what my priorities are and try to structure a timetable around this. Also picked up a good tip in a magazine a while back that you should make a list of all the snag points and *pauses to go and rescue the chickens from 2 small boys trying to catch them in the guinea pig run* little irritating jobs that need doing and just get on and cross some of them off. Most of them are only ever 10 minute jobs but looking at them all together it seems like a lifetimes worth. I also think I need to work out what improvements I can make for free with the resources I have already got rather than getting hung up on the stuff I need to buy. I am genuinely penniless this week. Couldn't even afford a pint of milk.

So, visualising, prioritising and organising...

RubySewSew

Eek! Eek! And treble eek! It's all gone pete tong! I have had to update my signature to show how much debt I haven't paid off! Despite monthly repayments of £330 I have only managed to reduce my overall debt by £160 over the past 2 months. How?! Where has all my money gone? I feel like I have been struggling and making do forever - I certainly don't have anything to show for it. And what about the extra money I have earned over the last couple of months?

I am at the limit on all of my accounts. I don't have any funds or cash until payday. I need to pay my babysitter to get to work tomorrow. I'm running out of milk, have no sandwich fillings for lunchboxes and no dinner money for the boys this week. I also already owe £12.60 to school for DS3 for last 2 weeks. And I have sent a postdated chq for £15 for schooltrip for DS1. I owe the boyfriend £25 for bits and pieces over the weekend. I owe my sister £25 from the summer. And my virgin payment of £400 bounced so I owe that to. So before I even start next month I owe £490.

I have 5 oranges, 6 carrots, half a head of broccoli and some frozen peas to keep 4 of us in our 5 a day for the next week. Oh and some homegrown tomatoes which I was going to use to make soup. And I don't know how to make any of this any better or how to stop it from happening again next month.

November is looming large with 3 family birthdays, mot, tax and service with nothing put aside as yet to cover it. Not to mention Christmas.

Not only can I not take boys away for a break in half term but I can't afford to do anything with them at home either. I wanted to start cycling to school to save on petrol but can't afford bike helmets or maintenance. And I am sick of the sound of my voice whingeing about being broke. I have a pretty substantial income when you add all the bits together so don't know why I'm in this mess. I'm pretty savvy by all accounts and have been an ardent money saver since before Martin wrote the money diet book. The only solution I can see is to increase my income but how and when? I've just given up my cleaning because I can't physically fit it in. I've also had to put personal training on hold despite it being free because I don't actually have gaps in the week to fit it in.

Help! Help! Help!!!

RubySewSew

Have listed some books on amazon