Break up, debt build up and house advice need

jordonjb · 23 November 2016 at 3:36PM

Hi all,

(I apologise if this is in the wrong thread, please move it if need be :A)

This is going to be some first post - I've been ignoring the issue, but now feel it's getting on top of me.

Around 6 months ago my partner broke up with me, she continued to live in our house although seeing some one else. She decided she wasn't going to pay towards the bills any longer also. She stayed in the house for around 6 weeks. Without paying towards anything.
She normally put £500 a month into our joint account I put put £700 in. Most months we went over drawn and I topped the account up.
So since that day I've been paying all bills and the mortgage (£620pm) on my own, and the fees to have her name removed from accounts etc whilst trying to deal with the solicitor and have her name removed from the mortgage. As I cannot take over the mortgage on my own as yet, my brother had offered to pay my ex fiance for her 'title of deeds', which he was seeing as an investment for himself.

We loaned £124,500 and still have to pay around £122,000. Although the work I've put into the place is 80%, estate agents have told me if I was to sell now I'd be best asking for around £140,000, but I'd still need to do some work to the external to make it look attractable for people (inside almost complete, outside not). If I was to finish all the work they suggest marketing it for between £160-170,000.

Obviously I want to keep hold of the place, but have not got my self in a mess, borrowing on credit cards (we had wedding planned which was on my credit card! :mad:) and things for the house.

I've recently started a new job which I'm having to use my credit card for and claim back expenses, which is tripping me up.

Basically, I think I need to sell now. At least I can inform bill & utility companies and get my outgoings down, but shes holding out for ex amount of money now and shes trying to bring my labrador dog into the problem and asking me to legally sign sharing her week on week off (the dogs in my name with kennel club and microchip).

How do I go about this?

I just want an end to this mess and don't want to get myself into more of one.

There's probably loads more I should have wrote but I've done this quite quick, so can answer questions if more info is needed.

THANK YOU!

Dobbibill · 23 November 2016 at 11:30PM

Hi jordonjb,

Welcome to the forum,

I'm not sure I can add any value to your post but I didn't want to read 'n' run.

How amicable is your ex being with the bills or anything else?
Have they just stopped paying or have they told you why they can't/won't pay at the moment?

I would certainly make sure that other than the mortgage, all accounts are in your sole name with no risks to any of your funds you are putting towards bills/mortgage.

Have you told them, you are removing your name from the utility bills while you are not using the facilities? If so, what was their response?

It must be very difficult being left with all the debt on the CC for the planned wedding.

I hope someone more knowledgeable than me will come along shortly and offer some further/better advice.

I wish you all the best.

National_Debtline · 24 November 2016 at 2:49PM

Hi Jordonjb,

This sounds like a very stressful situation where emotions are running high. To limit the financial damage I would suggest (if you haven't already done so) meter readings to everything from the date she left/leaves and getting the bills in your name to keep things simple. She can be held accountable for fuel and water as a beneficial user even if not named on the bill. If she isn't paying anything to the household then you can ask her to leave and seek legal advice about how you may be able enforce this action if she refuses.

Try and seek some independent financial advice about whether to re-mortgage with your brother or sell. You could try the Money Advice Service as a starting point, but you may need more independent financial advice.

From what you have described you could have approx. £20k equity, maybe more if some work has been done. A few more details may help future posters guide you. Roughly, how much would the work cost to get the higher valuation for the property? How much credit debt do you owe and what does it cost you monthly? Can you put a SOA to show affordability of maintaining the house on your own?

Laura
@natdebtline

enthusiasticsaver · 24 November 2016 at 3:16PM

If there is any equity in the property after sale and fees then legally she is entitled to half although you could negotiate depending on who has paid for upkeep and mortgage since your split. Legally though the starting line is 50/50. Your brother could get her to sign her half over to him for a fee but he would need to see a solicitor for that. There would be fees and stamp duty to pay. Again you should negotiate with her re the credit card debt for the wedding but if it is in your name there is no guarantee she will accept responsibility for any of it. A salutory warning indeed for people considering merging their lives and finances.

jordonjb · 24 November 2016 at 3:46PM

Dobbibill wrote: »

Hi jordonjb,

Welcome to the forum,

I'm not sure I can add any value to your post but I didn't want to read 'n' run. I appreciate that!

How amicable is your ex being with the bills or anything else? Not very. Shes just left and doesn't care.
Have they just stopped paying or have they told you why they can't/won't pay at the moment? No, she just stopped paying. Shes since asked to pay again but thinks we can make this into a business venture and expects me to continue doing the work then in 6 months say, sell up and be quids in!?

I would certainly make sure that other than the mortgage, all accounts are in your sole name with no risks to any of your funds you are putting towards bills/mortgage. I'm trying! Easier said than done

Have you told them, you are removing your name from the utility bills while you are not using the facilities? If so, what was their response? Not yet, this is my next call, although we were in deficit with the gas and electric, which again, she doesn't care about whilst I'm still paying it.

It must be very difficult being left with all the debt on the CC for the planned wedding.

I hope someone more knowledgeable than me will come along shortly and offer some further/better advice.

I wish you all the best. Thank you very much!

Thanks for your words Dobbibill!

swampduck · 24 November 2016 at 4:32PM

If you are wanting to keep the house, have you considered taking in a lodger? It helps to pay the utility bills and gives you time and breathing space to finish the jobs that need doing and sort your finances out.

EssexHebridean · 24 November 2016 at 4:41PM

Firstly, congratulations being rid of your ex prior to actually marrying her. It sounds as though you will be able to do substantially better for yourself.

Have you spoken with the Mortgage company about the situation with the house? If both names are on the mortgage, then it'll be registered in both names as well, and if you're changing the mortgage into your name only (or yours and your Brothers) then they will want that noted on the registration as well I suspect. Is she likely to play fair about being removed? It will require her signature, so if you can get things to an amicable level at least until this is sorted, so much the better. If she's not going to play nicely, then you may be best to seek legal advice on this front. Look for a local firm of solicitors who deal with matrimonial work and offer a "fixed fee" first interview - usually in the region of £120 - £150 for an hour. It may well be the best money you'll spend, at this stage! If she IS going to be obliging about things crack on and deal with it promptly, before she changes her mind. At some stage put in writing to her that you presume she has taken independent legal advice. This might help to cover your backside if she kicks up later.

On the rest of your spending, can I suggest you put together an SOA (Statement of Affairs) - you'll find the link in the "Sticky" post at the top of this board. Not only does thisn help you to see what goes where, if you post it in here we can take a look and make suggestions on any savings you may have missed.

wishus · 24 November 2016 at 6:05PM

Just want to say good luck Jordonjb.

Dobbibill · 24 November 2016 at 7:58PM

When you say it's easier said than done separating the bank accounts. What sort of difficulties have you had?

It will require both of you to sign to change it over to a sole or only one of you to sign if you want to close it. (it needs to be at a zero to close, this isn't possible if it's in an overdraft)

It may be worth you getting a sole account set up for yourself/your wages and the mortgage payment so that is safely paid and untouchable.

Break up, debt build up and house advice need

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