im in it big time,need help/advice.....

sanfrancisco · 5 January 2007 at 1:50PM

Hey Micky,

Just take one step at a time.

You need to get your wife on board, so she can share the burden with you.

You either confront this now, or it gets worse and it confronts you in 6 months - 1 year. It will be hard, but it better to face it. We are all here to guide you.

justruth · 5 January 2007 at 1:51PM

Bankruptcy might be the only option for you, but when you get your SOA up here we can see if there is an alternative. Once you have sorted through all the paperwork, and got all the figures in sight, you will feel sick. Sorry about that. However when you go through the figures again with an action plan even if that involves calling one of the free debt advice charities to deal with creditors, you will start to feel in control again.

Put the kettle on, grab a brew and pull your finances apart. At least you know where we all are for support.

bobbie78 · 5 January 2007 at 1:54PM

I'd really try and hold off adding the debt into your mortgage. If you look at the whatisthecost snowball calculator and add in each of your debts seperatley with their different aprs there is a section and the bottom that shows just how much more it costs you to add the debt into your mortgage instead of pay it separately.

Are all the credit cards 0% if not try applying for the HSBC one or similar that martin mentioned in his last email so at least the interest isn't building up all the time.

It might be worth speaking to cccs or the national debt helpline and see if an IVA or DMP is right for you at this time.

The one thing you have to understand it if you do end up moving everything into a different loan, or 0% cards you have to stop using the credit cards. Cut them up straight away. You need to write down every penny you and your wife are spending for a month to see where all the money goes. It may turn out your spending 500 a month a tesco and not realising it is that much, or the fact that a trip to starbucks or a takeaway every day adds up to hundreds a month that would be better spent else where. Unless you take a good hard look and get a grip on where the money is going it doesn't matter how to managed to move the debts around now as in 6 months times you'll be back in the same situation with an extra 10k of debt, I know it happened to me. It sounds simple enough but really it will mean changing your lifestyles to the minimum and that takes a lot of hard work.

So post your SOA if you can, and everyone will chip in an hopefully save you some money on that which you can use to paying of the credit cards etc. Good luck, and just keep posting you are making the first postitive steps for you and your family to get out of debt. Well done :T

Seaxwyn · 5 January 2007 at 2:04PM

I'd just like to add that it is really worth posting your full SOA. When I did it people queried how much I was spending on lmortgage term insurance, I had never questioned this, just seen it as an essential cost. Now I'm getting much lower quotes for the same insurance, which will save over £100/month, and things like that are a big help.

Surely you can sell that Cherokee. Yes theyre out of favour but someone somewhere will want one. Paying off some biggish lumps will give you a huge boost too.

Good luck, don't panic, it can only get better. You and your wife may be useless with money now but stick around here and you'll soon be geniuses!

mickey66_2 · 5 January 2007 at 2:19PM

i didnt think i'd get any,feeling abit better already.

i have also just contacted the CCCS and they are gonna contact me next Friday 12th,to go through my debts etc.The 12th!! they must be busy!,and in a way that makes me feel better as i now know im not alone,being in alot of debt is a bit of a 'taboo' subject,and people dont mention it do they its just brushed aside.

Sallys_Savings · 5 January 2007 at 2:22PM

I just wanted to offer my support...you've done the first step

You've seen the light

I have to dash off at the moment, but I'll be looking for you once you've posted your SOA and try to help out abit. Please remember to include EVERYTHING how matter how small so people can pick it over to save you some money...dont forget those small bits and pieces really add up and could save you quite alot.

This is such a fantastic friendly site you will be overwhelmed with suggestions and help I'm sure. Lots of people are in/were in the same position as yourself.

I know at the moment your mind is in such a muddle but once you've got it all written down on paper and able to work through it I'm sure you will feel better sorting your debts out.

There are so many helpful suggestions on this site and once you've posted your soa and sorted a few things out you should sit down with a notepad and pen and browse through the site.

Theres lots of things you can do to achieve extra money..look on the Bit on the side hunt on the Mortgage free board (no its not about how to have a mistress lol but working extra on the side and have lots of ideas you may not have thought of)....try selling on amazon, ebay and car boots (you'll be surprised on what people buy)....clicking on quidco/rpoints etc to gain points to exchange for vouchers/items etc....theres a thread called "money for nothing" where people are raising money (over £1000 in some cases) begining from nothing at all and has some great ideas on...also "money for anything" thread....check out insurances...electric/gas...cutting back on using the car...bargains and offers on the grabbit board...using vouchers for your shopping (if your supermarket doesnt take them sell them on ebay people buy them all the time)...use tesco clubcard points for days out...try tesco r & r (where they refund your money if you have been charged more for anything, some people get quite a bit of money for this)...swap credit cards over for 0% interest etc etc......cheap hols/days out with the children...........sorry bit too much info just know for you. But there are some great ideas on these forums so take advantage.

I'm still unsure if you have told your wife you are in debt..have you?

Good luck and please try not to worry too much...I know you will but take a deep breath and brew up and take one thing at a time.

Sallys_Savings · 5 January 2007 at 2:24PM

You're definitely not on your own...........crikey just look at all those stupid ads (dont answer them) that are on the TV, Debt is big business

You'll be surprised on the amount of people who are in debt because no one does talk about it. Neighbours/friends that seem as if they have everything but owe thousands.

YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT ON YOUR OWN..all the best

mickey66_2 · 5 January 2007 at 2:29PM

Sallys_Savings wrote:

I just wanted to offer my support...you've done the first step
You've seen the light

I have to dash off at the moment, but I'll be looking for you once you've posted your SOA and try to help out abit. Please remember to include EVERYTHING how matter how small so people can pick it over to save you some money...dont forget those small bits and pieces really add up and could save you quite alot.

This is such a fantastic friendly site you will be overwhelmed with suggestions and help I'm sure. Lots of people are in/were in the same position as yourself.

I know at the moment your mind is in such a muddle but once you've got it all written down on paper and able to work through it I'm sure you will feel better sorting your debts out.

There are so many helpful suggestions on this site and once you've posted your soa and sorted a few things out you should sit down with a notepad and pen and browse through the site.

Theres lots of things you can do to achieve extra money..look on the Bit on the side hunt on the Mortgage free board (no its not about how to have a mistress lol but working extra on the side and have lots of ideas you may not have thought of)....try selling on amazon, ebay and car boots (you'll be surprised on what people buy)....clicking on quidco/rpoints etc to gain points to exchange for vouchers/items etc....theres a thread called "money for nothing" where people are raising money (over £1000 in some cases) begining from nothing at all and has some great ideas on...also "money for anything" thread....check out insurances...electric/gas...cutting back on using the car...bargains and offers on the grabbit board...using vouchers for your shopping (if your supermarket doesnt take them sell them on ebay people buy them all the time)...use tesco clubcard points for days out...try tesco r & r (where they refund your money if you have been charged more for anything, some people get quite a bit of money for this)...swap credit cards over for 0% interest etc etc......cheap hols/days out with the children...........sorry bit too much info just know for you. But there are some great ideas on these forums so take advantage.

I'm still unsure if you have told your wife you are in debt..have you?

Good luck and please try not to worry too much...I know you will but take a deep breath and brew up and take one thing at a time.

....everything,we dont hide things,but like i said in an earlier post,she's as useless with money as i am...not a good combination!
im the one who gets stressed about it,she seems very laid back...and too be honest this winds me up and does cause the occaisional argument.

hobo28 · 5 January 2007 at 2:29PM

Hi mate

I don't usually post anything here but read your story and really sympathise with you. I'm not an expert so I will leave the financial advice to others. Does your wife work?

You've taken the first big step which is acknowledging the problem which is great. if you haven't already done so, I would take a moment to figure out the root cause of the problem. Is it just over shopping on "stuff" or is there another reason? The reason I ask is that unless you find the root cause and address it, you'll end up coming around a full circle.

Little_Miss_Winner · 5 January 2007 at 2:30PM

Hi Mickey,

Congrats on making the first step by posting on here.

Your'e not alone, and together we will crack this! Rushing out just now, but will be back later to see how your'e getting on, just wanted to offer my support too!

regards
POt
x

im in it big time,need help/advice.....

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