im in it big time,need help/advice.....

artic_fox_2

mickey66 wrote:

Thanks.:o

i know ive gotta deal with it,but it just seems so unfair,just trying to live an 'honest' life has done this to me,seems the more err 'wrong' you are the better you get on.

sorry,i'll get over it,just feel low at the moment.

i know what you mean but it will get easier and the paniky feeling will fade

you cant get a yes if you dont ask

in_my_wellies

10 years? It might be but on the bright side it could be less. Use this board to get ideas and you can find ways to save. Saving you will get used to and wont notice after a while - they just become habit.
For every pound saved that will be a little of the 10 years - set yourselves the challenge!

I_was_a_fool

mickey66 wrote:

spoke to CCCS today,very helpful,but my situation looks a bit grim.....basically i gave him all the info,and total debts were nearly £34k,they will suggest a budget which they will send through,but to become debt free will take roughly 10 years and cost me £280pm.

i feel totally destroyed at the moment,realising that i cant have a proper life for my family for at least 10years,but basically its my fault.

some of the budget ideas they suggest just wont work in my opinion,but i'll have to make them work.

feeling very down.

Mickey66, dont feel that way, just think if someone makes minimum payments on their credit cards it can take 40 years to pay off! No-one thinks twice about taking out a loan for 10 or 15 years although it often leaves them short!
In the long run everyone in the family can appreciate the value of money & learn to budget and you can teach them not to make the same mistakes.

We are in a similar boat, at least 10 years to pay off & three months ago I was in the depths of despair but we are regaining control now and living OK on the budget. Stick with this site, read all the "sticky" threads & you will be amazed how much you can do to reduce your debt and make a little extra income.

On-line surveys, cashback sites, ebay & amazon sales, collecting vouchers and so on. There is also a freebies board where you can send off for freebies, it means that sometimes you get something nice in the post!

You can also review your budget periodically if it isnt working, reduce or increase if necessary.

christabell

Welcome to MSE. The hardest thing you did was to type the first line, then you made an appointment with a professional advisor. These are very positive steps. Please remember that YOU did not write EVERY cheque or make EVERY CC Transaction, your wife made spending choices as well.

Even when you stated that you did not think the budget would work, please give it a try. I don't know how electricity works either, but when I hit the switch, the light goes on.

I had it all until I lost my 30K pa tax free job in 1999. Then came back to the UK, and things got even worse. Now, I am too ill to work, and have to live on DWP Benefits, but through this site I have learned how to budget, live more cheaply. I have had to change my spending ideas, but with a positive attitude help is available.

I wish you and your family the best of luck.

spaghetti_monster

Hi Mikey, just wanted to add to the encouragement....

Also that I've read so many stories of people changing their lifestyles, sorting out their budgets etc on this forum - really incredible.

Might sound a bit new-agey but..... sometimes people put labels on themselves (eg."the sensible one", "always late" - in your case "cr*p with the finances") which they then live up to - and they think that this is their personality and won't change. But I think you can really change these things if you want.
You may not be there with the calculator for hours every night, receipts ironed, filing cabinet full, accountant degree in the post BUT you can make crucial changes and turn things around.

Good luck!

Alex x

mickey66_2

kind words***

we will get through this.:T

bank_of_slate

The hardest step is actually working out the exact amount that you are in debt by, once you know that figure you can start to change things.
Before I worked mine out I was so scared of the 'unknown figure', terrified to work it out because it would mean I had to face the problem...so much easier to turn my back and put it off I thought.

Once I had faced the problem I felt so much more in control, even though I knew it would take a few years to sort out.
Keep a log of all your changes and savings, then whenever you feel down, you can look back at how far you've come.
It may seem hard to believe but there is ALWAYS someone who is worse off than yourself.

Remember, even if you do face bankruptcy, what's done is done, you may be kicking yourself for it but don't stress over what you can't change.
Follow the advice on this site to change to cheaper utilities, insurance etc...

And finally, remember that we are here to help and support you, not to judge you!
Welcome to the debt free wannabe family Mickey!

artic_fox_2

you may be kicking yourself for it but don't stress over what you can't change.quoted from above

i learnt this when we had a major money crisis a few years ago OH was sacked at christmas and we had £25 per week to live on for 4 weeks lots of stress untill i realised there was no point in stressing over what i didnt have control over so i went to the council and explained i wasnt going to pay rent till money was sorted and rest of money was going on food and gas and elec(payment meters) untill benifets could be delt with.

You can't get a YES if you don't ask?

mickey66_2

things they suggested was to get a new 'standard' bank account,which i have done(co-op bank)...now how do i go about closing down my old bank? do i just tell them and duck?,theyre not gonna be happy as ive gone way over my overdraft ,but i had no choice,had no more money/credit anywhere and basically i have to live!.

im also in dispute with my bank for scuppering my new re-mortgage(had to in clude them,because i have a secured loan with them:mad: ),they had been dragging their heels with every request i made to them,'can i have some settlement figures?'....they turned up 3 weeks later after numerous telephone calls,this has made the re-mortgage drag on and get absolutely no where,new mortgage was gonna save me at least £300pm,but seems like Barclays couldnt give a monkeys!,also with regards to the secured loan,im also complaining against the PPI which i now realise ive been mis-sold,they are of course denying it but they 'urged' me at the time to take it,and being in the vulnerable position i was,i took it:mad:

so there you go im now awaiting a response to the 2 complaints ive made today,Barclays are the bank concerned btw,a bank ive been with for 20 years!.....like they care.

problems...they just keep mounting

mickey66_2

mickey66 wrote:

things they suggested was to get a new 'standard' bank account,which i have done(co-op bank)...now how do i go about closing down my old bank? do i just tell them and duck?,theyre not gonna be happy as ive gone way over my overdraft ,but i had no choice,had no more money/credit anywhere and basically i have to live!.

im also in dispute with my bank for scuppering my new re-mortgage(had to in clude them,because i have a secured loan with them:mad: ),they had been dragging their heels with every request i made to them,'can i have some settlement figures?'....they turned up 3 weeks later after numerous telephone calls,this has made the re-mortgage drag on and get absolutely no where,new mortgage was gonna save me at least £300pm,but seems like Barclays couldnt give a monkeys!,also with regards to the secured loan,im also complaining against the PPI which i now realise ive been mis-sold,they are of course denying it but they 'urged' me at the time to take it,and being in the vulnerable position i was,i took it:mad:

so there you go im now awaiting a response to the 2 complaints ive made today,Barclays are the bank concerned btw,a bank ive been with for 20 years!.....like they care.

problems...they just keep mounting

help! any advice greatly accepted