Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

[Deleted User] · 5 December 2018 at 10:59AM

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Thank you DIA . I think that can be the useful thing about counselling, being told that you really are going through a tough time and it's normal to feel terrible. I guess we just need to hear it more often sometimes.

What you say is so true, HH. I think we're all conditioned to feel guilty if we 'give in' to what, after all, are perfectly normal feelings after experiencing major crises in our lives.

Don't forget you suffered twice within a very short time from losing someone, your Mum who passed away and your son who left the family group, albeit temporarily. Although both events were not comparable they both left a huge gap in your life.

No two people's experiences are identical but I'm sure all of us on here have suffered losses and grief in our lives. Although we may not fully understand exactly what you're going through we know from our own experience that maintaining a 'normal' life can be an uphill struggle at times like this. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You know we're always here for you to try to give some small crumbs of comfort through your dark times and to offer whatever support we can. We don't even know you in the true sense of the word but you've really touched our lives:A and we all want you to come out the other side of the dark tunnel and face the light again.

jwil · 5 December 2018 at 11:15AM

Great news that you've been paid :T

CBC - congrats on the F&F being accepted :j

Munchin · 5 December 2018 at 11:34AM

Hi HHD,

Good luck with all your plans today.

As you know, I saw a counsellor/therapist for my eating issues this year but she did discuss my Dad's death which is 18 years ago now. I was in tears straight away discussing something I thought I had come to terms with and from talking to my therapist once the initial shock of his sudden death had worn off I had just buried the emotions - so not good or healthy (eating disorder started not long after). I felt like I didn't want to upset people with my grief. I think the journal is so helpful and I wish I had sought help all those years ago and truly acknowledged that it's not something to get over and it doesn't have a timeline. We are all here if you need us.

[Deleted User] · 5 December 2018 at 12:58PM

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I've been wide awake since 6am, so only six hours sleep which is not really enough for me. All the things I talked to the counsellor about were traipsing through my head all night .

Anyway, an early start is never a bad thing. Today I have the weekly food shop to do with my normal £60 budget, plus hopefully I'll get some Christmas food if it's on offer.

DS2 has revealed he still has whisky left from last Christmas (I'm glad he's not an alcoholic) so I need to return the whisky gift set I got him. Unfortunately I can't find the receipt so I'm hoping they may agree to an exchange.

Then I need to print off another 200 statements for the accountants as they didn't print properly :mad: (I think an ink cartridge was running out. My fault for not checking them ). So I'll need to buy more paper today. That's another two hours I'll never get back :mad:.

Then I'd like to finish putting up the Christmas decorations. So a busy day but it should be manageable if I get myself organised.

I still haven't had my YG money, but then it's only been a week so I may be being impatient :rotfl:. I'm up to £18.55 on OP, and have about £13 in PA once approved. I'd like to spend this on Xmas presents, or if we could pay those another way, keep it for a secret emergency fund (if it's secret we won't spend it ).

Have a good Wednesday everyone .

Sorry you didn't get much sleep last night. I hope you manage to catch a bit of time today to have a nap. I didn't get much sleep either, I was posting on here before 3 a.m.:eek:. I'd been to bed and was sleeping well but OH got a sudden cramp in his calf and got out of bed to try to walk it off. He didn't want to wake me but should realize after all these years that it takes a lot to wake me up once I'm on a deep sleep. Anyway, he didn't switch the lamp on and stubbed his toe which made him jump around yelling and swearing:eek:. It was all quite comical actually, like something out of a comedy film, but I managed to contain my sniggers. I felt sorry for him really and decided to get up and make us both a cup of tea, I didn't bother going back to bed as I get up at 6 anyway and it didn't seem worth it.

How annoying about the statements. I hope you manage to buy some reasonably priced printer paper and get them printed again. All extra work that you don't need though.

I was thinking about your whisky gift for DS and wondered whether, if the shop won't refund or exchange, you could hang onto it and give it to DS for his birthday:think:. Whisky doesn't 'go off' does it?

beanielou · 5 December 2018 at 1:27PM

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I don't know either, beanie. I know the climate is a bit milder in lovely Devon where HH is fortunate enough to live but it's winter even there;). I know you're not as old as me but older than HH, I think(apologies if I've got that wrong) and the older we get the more we seem to feel the cold. Certainly true in my case although I'm still physically active and don't sit still for long if I can help it. Here's something to warm you up a bit:coffee:. I think I'll join you:coffee:

I had to go out really early on Tuesday morning, before it was fully light, and had to scrape some really hard ice off the car windows. The first real frosty night of the season. The grass and paths were still white even at 10. I've been putting our heating on for an hour morning and evening too as this is a very cold old house at the best of times. OH has been having a bit of a moan about the evening one especially if I 'forget' to switch it off once the hour is up:rotfl:

Thanks for the cuppa:D
I am now in my late 50's.
Not sure how that happened:eek:

beanielou · 5 December 2018 at 1:31PM

HHD~# Hope you get the whiskey set changed.
Big boo to a poor sleep

HairyHandofDartmoor · 5 December 2018 at 2:31PM

@Nicnal @Jwil @Beanie Thanks

.

HairyHandofDartmoor · 5 December 2018 at 2:32PM

carbootcrazy wrote: »

What you say is so true, HH. I think we're all conditioned to feel guilty if we 'give in' to what, after all, are perfectly normal feelings after experiencing major crises in our lives.

Don't forget you suffered twice within a very short time from losing someone, your Mum who passed away and your son who left the family group, albeit temporarily. Although both events were not comparable they both left a huge gap in your life.

No two people's experiences are identical but I'm sure all of us on here have suffered losses and grief in our lives. Although we may not fully understand exactly what you're going through we know from our own experience that maintaining a 'normal' life can be an uphill struggle at times like this. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You know we're always here for you to try to give some small crumbs of comfort through your dark times and to offer whatever support we can. We don't even know you in the true sense of the word but you've really touched our lives:A and we all want you to come out the other side of the dark tunnel and face the light again.

Thank you, that's a very nice thing to say

.

HairyHandofDartmoor · 5 December 2018 at 2:34PM

Munchin wrote: »

Hi HHD,

Good luck with all your plans today.

As you know, I saw a counsellor/therapist for my eating issues this year but she did discuss my Dad's death which is 18 years ago now. I was in tears straight away discussing something I thought I had come to terms with and from talking to my therapist once the initial shock of his sudden death had worn off I had just buried the emotions - so not good or healthy (eating disorder started not long after). I felt like I didn't want to upset people with my grief. I think the journal is so helpful and I wish I had sought help all those years ago and truly acknowledged that it's not something to get over and it doesn't have a timeline. We are all here if you need us.

Thank you Munchin

. It's very easy to repress trauma and not deal with it properly. Presumably losing your dad and not dealing with the emotions caused your eating disorder? It's good that you got the therapy.

HairyHandofDartmoor · 5 December 2018 at 2:37PM

@Carboot Your house must be like a sitcom sometimes :rotfl:.

Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free