Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017

Feral_Moon · 6 January 2017 at 2:05AM

You don't need to explain yourself or detail your finances to anyone here Mooloo xx

Redlady..... · 6 January 2017 at 2:06AM

I read your diary most days Mooloo and love reading about you and your life. I'd hate to think your frank openness would be stunted because some people think you should do things differently.

You live your life how you want to, you're doing ok. Most of us think we could live other peoples lives better than they can themselves, it's easy really, just take out all the emotions, feelings and worries.

I hope things work out with your son, that your daughter has a fantastic wedding and your twins get wiser as they get older.:)

Oh......and keep up the honesty in your diary.....it's a great read.

Almost-free · 6 January 2017 at 3:13AM

In your position I would be very worried that my daughter was marrying someone with 12 yrs of undisclosed debt,and I would have been encouraging her to delay the wedding until it was clear he has changed his ways -I've lived with someone that lied constantly about money and I honestly think it's so ingrained they are unlikely to change .

I also agree that you do have an answer for any sort of negative comment & are very defensive .

i cannot however imagine the stress of juggling debt and bills the way you do. I was left in a horrible financial situation 8 yrs ago because of my dishonest financial nightmare of an ex . I took advice at the time and the one thing I took to heart was - no credit cards .At all. Having seen my own parents never use credit (apart from their mortgage )and save for everything they wanted, it was easy fir me to stick to that .

I now only have my mortgage , and it has been boring - no holidays etc but the knowledge that I don't have debt is worth more to me than any holiday ( a few days away from the stress is always followed by months of dealing with it again)plus I think it has been a good example to my kids.

I don't love my kids any less than you do ( nor they me) because I don't choose to try to solve any short term problem that they can solve themselves with maybe a slightly less fun alternative - i.e. Postponing a wedding that they clearly cannot afford . A wedding can cost virtually nothing if it's that important to do right now, and have a blessing/party when funds allow. Plus a lesson learned that we would all benefit from trying to live within our means .

I don't doubt you have a heart of gold but I think you have to consider if you are enabling poor decision-making in your children .

thorsoak · 6 January 2017 at 7:14AM

(Text removed by MSE Forum Team)

If, like some of us, you have followed Mooloo's very honest diaries over what - 7 or 8 years - you would know that Mooloo tells us - very honestly - about what goes on in her life. It's all very well criticising her choices and giving her spurious advice but don't you think that she already knows all this? She does. Life knocks her down and she gets up again and carries on.

Mooloo isn't asking for advice, she comes here to let us know how things are going.

mellymoo74 · 6 January 2017 at 7:20AM

I agree with thorsoak
Don't feel disheatend MooLoo a few of us realise your doing your best.

Savvy_sewing · 6 January 2017 at 7:58AM

Biggest's partner only lied by omission I believe, as he was on a good wage he believed that he was able to handle the debts, but he never did a budget and was not honest with himself. I agree that it is not very good way to start a marriage, but cancelling the wedding is not going to happen as his Mum has Luikemia and Dad died of cancer last year. So it may be for the wrong reasons in some people's views but for them, it is what they want to do.
Biggest now has control of his money, is dealing with the debts and I believe that they will get there. Yes I am soft and have helped (or hindered in some opinion), my children, as they have grown into adulthood and I am not very good at saying no. Yes in some people's eyes they are using me.
I don't expect everyone to understand me, or agree with me, yes I may come over as defensive, as a Cat with her kittens, and in some eyes I am full of excuses.
In my eyes I am telling it as it is because when I needed help a lot of you were there, I have got used to diarising my life and I suppose although I don't like criticism I have to expect it and run with it.
I don't have a loan. Just the credit cards.
I am not in overdraft, and there is money in the various accounts that if I had to pay off the credit cards I would have only £1200 worth of debt and if I really had to I have that in the business savings accounts.
I could go back to scratch and start with 0 debt if the worst befalls me.
However I would rather divide my funds into the little pots, make use of the system ( granted I made a mistake and took my eyes off the ball in November), but I am aware of every single penny and where it is. ( or isn't).
I am not perfect, I do overspend occasionally but I am good at reining it in again and I am so used to juggling that it doesn't worry me, I am just challenged by it occasionally.
I don't bury my head in the sand and ignore debt, and yes I have taken on DSs debt, and didn't have to. Yes I was niece to think that he would buck up his ideas and grow into a man.
No I don't have a magic wand that will sort them out and I am frustrated with them all at times. I get exasperated at times, but I am going with my motherly instincts and I am not going to apologise for that.
I have helped others less fortunate than me, not just my children, and I will probably do that again.
When I die, I will be able to say that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference. Be it only a small one.
I do need to reduce my debt and increase my savings etc, and I have a plan and a budget worked out. I have a date in 2019 to be debt free by.
At the same time my savings will be growing at £100 a month and so there should be no need to use the credit card except for the rights it gives, the convenience and in some cases like car hire, the only card they accept.
Considering that I was only able to start to pay my self a wage since last spring/summer, and I have achieved what I have, I am confident that I can budget well enough.
I may not do it, but I am sure that I will.

You may not agree with my methods but I understand where you are coming from.
I don't expect every posting here to be in agreement with me. I don't expect everyone to be nice, kind, or sympathetic when the need arises. I do expect challenges.
I don't like criticism naturally but I chose to put my life and thoughts here, so I have to go with the flow.
I have made many friends from here, helped many deal with Social Services, adoption, fostering, have produced budget plans for people that have approached me, and produced a menu plan for a food bank, to give ideas to those who have a random bag of tins and dried goods to survive off when they have nothing.
I think that that is a good reason for me to carry on telling you how it is in my world.
Thousands of you have regularly read my story over 9 years and those who met me in real life know what a turn around I have made of my life and health and how far I have come.
I am on a journey that is moving forward ever nearer to my goals and I will continue to strive to make it happen.
I don't expect everyone to agree with me, to always follow me, and occasionally some comments upset me, but that is just how it is.

Dansmam · 6 January 2017 at 8:24AM

Hi Mooloo hope you don't mind another lurker jumping in just to say I dip into your diaries from time to time and follow your ups and downs because you seem such a resilient person and I never know what's happening next. I love that you weave the fun things in with the boring and take holidays with your mum. Yes there are patterns in what you do but that's how humans are and at the end of the day you have a plan for debt freedom and you're following it. If a(nother) blip happens you will sort it and move on. Because that's what you do ��

dktreesea · 6 January 2017 at 3:48PM

Mooloo wrote: »

.......
When I die, I will be able to say that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference. Be it only a small one.
.....

What a beautiful aspiration. I think you should put this in your signature.

dreaming · 6 January 2017 at 4:23PM

I have been reading for a long time Mooloo and really admire how open you have been. It is very easy for others to criticise/comment on how you live your life but as someone who has faced major family upheaval in the last few years I also know that sometimes you find yourself doing things to support family members which you never thought you would. There have been some people who have felt it necessary to give me (unasked for) advice about my situation, often saying "if I were you I would .....". I did say to one person "No, if you were me you would do exactly the same thing, but maybe you as you would do something differently". I'm not sure that comes across as I mean it but I have done what I have felt was the right thing at times (although I have since thought I could have done some of it differently). But sometimes you don't have the benefit of time to seek advice from friends or professionals (and that has been sadly lacking) in a given situation - you just have to make a decision in that moment and hope that it all works out.
I wish you all the best in 2017 and will be reading along and cheering you from the sidelines. May even pop into your shop one day as I in the same county.

Savvy_sewing · 6 January 2017 at 5:38PM

Just seen the last customer of the day.
Wow it has been a great day!
We have taken some £254!!
I have enough work in from today to keep me sewing for about three days.
I am really happy that I am not going to be sitting twiddling my fingers at this rate.
People are coming in with 3,4 and even 5 items to be done.
Long may it continue.

Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017

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