Help - addicted to spending

Nitha · 16 June 2009 at 6:08PM

As someone who also has a loan from the bank of dad, that has definitely been incentive to stop using the cards. I've cancelled every card bar one which I use for one bill and pay off in full (just to essentially rebuild my credit rating). Everytime I want to buy something I just think of my dad and it stops me straight away.

lihar · 16 June 2009 at 7:34PM

thanks, i do live with my other half, so the bills and rent are basically my half. my holiday has already been booked for August, so i have to commit to that. I think you are all so lovely to take the time to give me advice. I feel inspired. I really think that ive done the right thing to tell someone and feel encouraged to get this straight. Currently because of my spending i literally have £3 left, so i'll have to use my credit card to get things like petrol, which i will need. But i wont be socialising anymore this month and will really analyse my pay packet when i next get it.

it is true, i feel very guilty and think of my dad almost every time i use my credit card, thinking that he loaned me the money he worked hard to earn. so by stopping spending the guilt of that will also go.

I really cant face telling my other half just yet. I know maybe I should but i just really dont want to. I want to be able to get this a little bit under control. I cant balance transfer my credit cards as I must be a "stay away from" customer, so i think i'll have to pay off the smallest one first, i read somewhere on here.

I will re-read the suggestions and really set about doing something. Will keep you posted and be honest about wobbly moments because if im not plannign to tell anyone, then i will definitely be needing some more support i think.

Sadly i cant earn overtime where i am and am registered on lift share but no takers, so i think train and cutting back are my solutions here. Or look for a new job near my home.

Thanks again!

tallyhoh · 16 June 2009 at 7:55PM

Dont leave it to long before you speak to your OH, make a plan of action & then tell him. You can always reassure him that you are sorting it.

It will be much worse if he finds out (& he will, trust me) before you have said anything.

Having got that out the way, nearly £300 on clothes & mobiles! WOW!

Burlesque_Babe · 16 June 2009 at 8:04PM

lihar wrote: »

I feel inspired. I really think that ive done the right thing to tell someone and feel encouraged to get this straight. somewhere on here.

Honestly - it could be the best thing you have ever done

My advice (as kind of part of the furniture around here :rotfl:) would be to start small, don't think you can tackle everything on day 1. Read around the threads. Say hello on the DFW daily chat and getto know us all.

-start a spending diary. This can be a bit of paper, a notepad, anything to record every penny you spend on 'stuff' like magazines, coffee, chocolate etc

- have a look at the Old Style board for ideas on meal planning and cooking from scratch. Some inspirational people over there who can stretch food to amazing lengths

- See the journey as an exciting challenge to tackle and beat rather than a worrying situation. It won't be long before you end up being excited about getting CC bills because you have a little bit extra to pay off them. Sad, but true :rotfl:

- log on here regularly - I mean really regularly to keep yourself motivated. OK, you'll then never leave, but that isn't the worst thing in the world.

- See it a bit like a battle plan or trategy to put together and then take it day by day. Join a few challenges if you fancy it.

Good luck :T

mum2one · 16 June 2009 at 10:19PM

lihar wrote: »

Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 337.5
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 52.5 - can you get that spread over 12months not 10,
Electricity............................. 10.5
Gas..................................... 7
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 12
Telephone (land line)................... 6
Mobile phone............................ 90 - that has to reduced, can you do sim only plan when contract up - in theory £30 should be plentiful
TV Licence.............................. 6
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 3.5
Groceries etc. ......................... 120
Clothing................................ 200 - do you really need to spend £200, I'm on the £100 year challange for clothes, reduce to £50 month maximum
Petrol/diesel........................... 325 - how come so much
Road tax................................ 10.5
Car Insurance........................... 29 - can you change at renewal and go through cash back sites
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 15
Other travel............................ 20
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 15
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 18
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 15- maybe search at renewal, cash back sites
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30- reduce even if its by £10 month, go to thrify thread
Haircuts................................ 30 - extend the time inbetween, make last 6 weeks, so in 3 months instead of 3 hair cuts have 2 save £10 per month
Entertainment........................... 130 - this needs to be reduced - try £90 pm,
Holiday................................. 50
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1552.5

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 162000 - your paying rent, but you have a house, sorry am I lost
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 600
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 162600

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
credit cards...................5400......160.......0
Total unsecured debts..........5400......160.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,470
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,552.5
Available for debt repayments........... -82.5
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 160
Amount short for making debt repayments. -242.5
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 162,600
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -5,400
Net Assets.............................. 157,200

I've put a few suggestions in blue, by just cutting the haircut by £10 pm, cut the clothes budget by £150, £10 on both haircuts and £10 on presents, and £40 on entertainment, thats £220 saved, more than enough to clear the debts.

The main things are the phone bill, and petrol, there the main issues I would say need adjusting and the debts would be reduced asap.

x

Crazy_Jamie · 17 June 2009 at 8:45AM

Just focusing on the mobile phone bill, but that strikes me as one of the easiest things to cut down on, because chances are you're simply not on the best deal for your usage. I'd suggest that you make a topic in the Mobile Phones forum about cutting that monthly spend. State who you're with, what contract you're on (if any), what phone you have, and what your monthly usage is (including data charges in you use the internet on your phone). We should then be able to find a better alternative for you to cut that down. If you don't want to post that information or don't feel comfortable enough making another topic, just PM me with that information and I'm sure I'll be able to give you some specific suggestions, be it by finding you a better alternative or through other tips.

poorandindenial · 17 June 2009 at 10:55AM

Hiya hun

I am a reformed spendaholic, looking at your SOA we had one thing in common - clothes. I also was obsessed with cosmetics and toiletries and between these I was probably spending 300-500 a month and up to £1500 from time to time.

I ended up doing a year of pretty much cold turkey on spending and then have been more lenient with myself since then.

If you look at my signature you can see how bad I let things get before I took action to sort out my situation.

I now have control over what I am paying back and I do go and spend from time to time (clothes are quite important to me and after a year of cold turkey I was looking seriously dated and tatty) but I am endlessly amazed at what I can find in my wardrobe that is still verty much servicible from a condition AND style point of view and I often talk on here about my excitement when I have 'shopped' from my own wardrobe and I can't remember the last time I paid full price for something.

Good luck to you in getting a handle on this, the things that worked for me were:

-keeping a spending diary, both a reality check and a deterrant
-allowing yourself a cash allowance per week - I used to give myself £70 a week to cover EVERYTHING except rent, council tax and utilities but the amount is obviously to be based on your own circumstances
-posting on here for advice and support (you are already doing this :T)

slig · 17 June 2009 at 11:52AM

Re telling your other half, why don't you set youself a date on which to tell him, perhaps a month or two away? That gives you a deadline by which to sort out a strong plan of action. It won't feel so bad telling him if you know that you're in control of your finances. In fact you might be itching to tell him by then, so you have someone to share things with - how you've reduced your debt free date by a month, how you've had four NSDs (no spend days) in a row, how you haven't bought new clothes for a month, etc. This debt busting gets quite addictive, just to warn you

.

jessegee · 17 June 2009 at 7:46PM

I feel for you, having been through the same thing myself

One thing I learnt is, why are you addicted to shopping? You dont have to say what is missing in your life outloud to anyone but yourself, just be totally honest, no one will hear, and it might suprise you!

Hope you have a great holiday, I saved a whopping 300 by saving 5p's in a big jar that I had to break

Best of luck and follow your dreams!

jessegee

poorandindenial · 17 June 2009 at 8:08PM

jessegee wrote: »

I feel for you, having been through the same thing myself

One thing I learnt is, why are you addicted to shopping? You dont have to say what is missing in your life outloud to anyone but yourself, just be totally honest, no one will hear, and it might suprise you!

Hope you have a great holiday, I saved a whopping 300 by saving 5p's in a big jar that I had to break

Best of luck and follow your dreams!

jessegee

Good advice

Even if you can't identify what is missing, I couldn't, then just taking control over this bit of your life feels really good. I realised that lots of my life was in chaos, not just the money bit, and I started to take control of other bits too.

If only I could get control of the housework

Help - addicted to spending

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