Help - addicted to spending



  • Tixy
    Tixy Posts: 31,455 Forumite
    Hi Lihar

    What is the interest rate on your overdraft? What is the rate on the loan they are offering you? Compare the APRs for both.

    Apart from choosing the one with the lowest rate I think it depends on a number of things. Many people change their OD or CC into a loan, then a year later run up the overdraft again. If you are an emotional spender this could happen to you as well.

    Also consider how quickly you think you could clear it without a loan. If you think you can do it sooner than 5years it might be better to stick with the overdraft. If you think you might still have a £3k overdraft in 5years, then a loan could suit you better.

    If you decide on a loan you may want to have a look around and see if you can get a better interest rate with anyone else.

    Regarding the fee charging bank account, i would say nearly always the amount you pay exceeds the benefits you get. You need to work out what you are getting and how much you are saving compared to the fee of £155 per year. I did have a 'plus' account for a while because they waivered a £200 mortgage fee which made it worthwhile for 1 year but don't go for this option just for things like travel insurance & car breakdown cover - it doesn't work out as effective.
    Before you sign up ask them exactly how much it will effect you interest rate on your overdraft & credit card, then compare the interest saving on a loan calculator to the fee (

    Good luck
    A smile enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give
    or "It costs nowt to be nice"
  • I looked into a loan instead of my overdraft, but it seemed like a long time to pay it all off - and as Tixy says, you can then go into your OD again too!
    I have a budget for my 'fun' money - clothes, going out, eating otu and other miscellaneous stuff. I take this out IN CASH, and once it is gone, it's gone. That has calmed my spending on clothes and magazines etc so that I am now saving rather than spending.

    WHY are you spending? That is the biggie.
  • Pee
    Pee Posts: 3,826 Forumite
    Thank you for posting this and sharing your problems. As you can see a lot of us can relate to this.

    I wonder if due to the weightloss shops like H & M and Matalan might have become options for you. Could you give yourself a budget of £80 a month for clothes and try to save some of that?

    I think the idea of freezing the credit card, which I have heard before is just brilliant.

    Paying off debts is addictive. I agree with that one.

    You should also be proud of what you have achieved financially.
  • lihar
    lihar Posts: 48 Forumite
    sometimes i am just bored. sometimes i want my boyfriend to see me in a new top and think wow. he loves me for me, but i like to impress him i think sometimes. sometimes i spend because im unhappy or stressed and for a short while i get a release in buying somethign -anything that is new.

    my boyfriend thinks im reckless with money. he just doesnt realise how much. i think im sleepless because we want to save for a house together, to buy and im holding us up. im pressuring myself, because im single handedly ruining my own future with these c0ck ups. :-(
    he'll understand that i need to delay it but point is i really do need to clear this so that life can begin. id be a lot less reliant on redbulls during the day if i could sleep. i could sleep a lot more if i wasnt worrying so much
  • lihar
    lihar Posts: 48 Forumite
    oh and sometimes i spend because im happy and i love clothes and beauty things. i used to shop when i was particularly unhappy in a previous relationship, when i felt quite lonely. i dont feel like that now, but i got into the habit of spending beyond my means. sorry if this has turned into a bit of a counselling session. but maybe it will help unearth the whys.
  • OK I used to spend money on clothes because I was bullied at school for not having the best stuff. Also I just love fashion! I learned how to make fascinators and basic jewellery and became a real bargain hunter, plus I have a challenge with my wife to see who spends the least amount of cash each month - you could do it with a friend? We are both very competitive so it works for us.
    Plus I tidied my wardrobe so I could see what I actually have and I always ask for clothing giftcards for birthdays and christmas.
  • fairybird30
    fairybird30 Posts: 31 Forumite
    I know you said you're not ready, but I think you really need to tell your boyfriend to get it all out in the open.

    You'll feel much better and I'm sure he'll support you.
    1 debt at a time. :confused:
    Egg Card [STRIKE]£1123.48[/STRIKE] £1060.48
    aim to have paid by end of August '09! :D
  • And I should have said you need to sleep! Go for a long walk, meditate or have a long bath before you go to sleep, after a good nights sleep you will feel better - take Nytol if you have to but only as a last resort.
  • Pee
    Pee Posts: 3,826 Forumite
    It will all seem a lot better if you can get some sleep.

    So there is def a link mentally with shopping and happiness.

    Why do you feel unable to tell your boyfriend? I am not saying that you need to tell him, but buying a house with him is a big commitment. How would you feel if he was hiding something similiar from you?

    Also, have you ever found that he just doesn't really notice what you are wearing... This is quite normal male behaviour and whilst annoying usually has it's uses when you are trying to spend less.
  • euronorris
    euronorris Posts: 12,247 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post PPI Party Pooper
    I think you may have some self esteem issues, which is triggering the shopping.

    You've mentioned before that you used to go shopping because you hated how you looked, and then you needed new clothes because you lost weight (well done you by the way!), but it has continued since then also.

    I think, although you have lost the weight and changed your physical appearance, you probably still think of yourself as the bigger version of you. I know I did for a while. In fact, it wasn't until I put a few lbs back on that I realised how slim I had become in the first place!

    I'm no expert though, so I'm not going to offer any specific advise. But, I do think you need to assess why you feel this way, and how to fix it, perhaps with the help of a counsellor. If you talk to your doctor about this, they can refer you to someone on the NHS. However, the appointment times may be difficult to plan around work.

    Persevere if you can though, as sorting out the root of the problem will really help in making sure that a) you pay things off quicker and b) you don't repeat past mistakes.

    Good luck, and keep talking, even if it's only on here (plan how to tell others in time), especially if you are feeling down. Reach for the mouse and not the CC. We'll all be here, chatting, helping, supporting :)

    OK, I have to go learn Dutch now (eek!), but I'll catch up with you later. As you can see from my sig, I've been no angel myself!
    February wins: Theatre tickets
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