Help - addicted to spending



  • mum2one
    mum2one Posts: 16,279 Forumite
    Xmas Saver!
    Pee wrote: »
    Thank you for posting this and sharing your problems. As you can see a lot of us can relate to this.

    I wonder if due to the weightloss shops like H & M and Matalan might have become options for you. Could you give yourself a budget of £80 a month for clothes and try to save some of that?

    I think the idea of freezing the credit card, which I have heard before is just brilliant.

    Paying off debts is addictive. I agree with that one.

    You should also be proud of what you have achieved financially.

    A clothes incentive, join us on the £100 a year clothes challenge - its hard, but we all support each other.
    xx rip dad... we had our ups and downs but we’re always be family xx
  • euronorris
    euronorris Posts: 12,247 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post PPI Party Pooper
    mum2one wrote: »
    A clothes incentive, join us on the £100 a year clothes challenge - its hard, but we all support each other.

    A great idea! The thread will have lots of great ideas AND you will mutual support! Always a good thing :)
    February wins: Theatre tickets
  • mum2one
    mum2one Posts: 16,279 Forumite
    Xmas Saver!
    euronorris wrote: »
    A great idea! The thread will have lots of great ideas AND you will mutual support! Always a good thing :)

    Its certainly tightened my reign in, still have money left from the £100, before that Id think nothing of putting £100 on my Evans card and then the same again 4 weeks or so later, now I think do I really need it, will I wear it more than once, and anything I need over £100 I have to make that money back, got £25 from ebay sales, but I work hard at not buying.

    An example the other day walked into Evans saw the most gorgeous top in the window, went inside it was £45... I put in back, 12 months ago I would of brought it with out a 2nd glance xx
    xx rip dad... we had our ups and downs but we’re always be family xx
  • Hi

    I am a bit of a emotional buyer as well :( my MIL has this phrase she always hammers home to DH which I used to laugh at

    "Do you really want it ? Can you afford it ? Can you live without ?" If you say this whenever you are standing in the shop looking at the item you cant seem to live without I swear it works sometimes.

    Another idea lately I have dreamed up for myself is Gift cards. Clever hubby gave me vouchers/giftcards for my birthday for a few of my fave stores. I was going to rush out and spend them then remembered if I hung on a few weeks there were lots of sales and I would get more for my money and if I could add on a fiver here and there (as a treat) over the next few weeks it would be bargains galore for me come July and totally guilt free spending, also just knowing I could go and spend my giftcard when I wanted made me feel not so desperate for some retail therapy as it was always there as a last resort.

    I will be asking for giftcards from now on for Christmas and Birthdays

    I also did this with my very young daughter who loves the H & M kids shop, she has a giftcard which we top up when appropriate and we can go shopping together in the knowledge we have a little put away

    Sorry if I am a bit sad but I thought I would share

    I love to shop and I dont know if I will ever dislike it but I will control it !
  • tealady
    tealady Posts: 3,742 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Mortgage-free Glee!
    Hi. Another idea I came across was in a book (can't rember the title sorry). It was what the author called "Tantric shopping". Basically the idea was if you saw something you wanted you write down where you saw it and the cost then (this is the hard bit for me) WALK OUT OF THE SHOP!!!!
    Keep the paper for at least a day (or even longer is still better). If you still want the item after that time then think about buying it. It may stop some impulse buys (wish it worked for biscuits!)
    Find out who you are and do that on purpose (thanks to Owain Wyn Jones quoting Dolly Parton)
  • lihar
    lihar Posts: 48 Forumite
    i think that is very true. I have not been able to stop seeing myself as a bigger size than i really am. i have put just a few pounds back on but same I realise now how slim i'd got. Maybe it's the disappointment that i put a few pounds back on and being bigger, even slightly has reminded me of the feelings i felt when i was much bigger and very low.

    last night i told my boyfriend. I didnt tell him the amount i owe, but i told him that i cant manage money and im really nervous and concerned and i told him how i was feeling about the whole thing in depth. he really wanted to talk about it and listened and cuddled me lots and said he was there and supporting me all the way. He came up with a million ideas on how we can save money, ideas for us to go out places without spending a fortune. But then when we were asleep he must have been having a bad dream as his arm spasmically flew in the direction of my face and he hit my eye! So now with one eye half closed, he's unintentionally ruined my social life for a bit. Wow he's good. ;-)
  • fairybird30
    fairybird30 Posts: 31 Forumite
    Thats fantastic news (apart from the black eye! :)) I am so glad you've managed to take a bit of pressure off by talking it through.
    1 debt at a time. :confused:
    Egg Card [STRIKE]£1123.48[/STRIKE] £1060.48
    aim to have paid by end of August '09! :D
  • Some sterling advice on here so far - was wondering though whether alongside a practical debt busting plan you also need to look at why you're (in your words) addicted to spending. Because even if you sort your immediate debt problem, you'd be likely to get into the same situation again if you don't tackle whatever's behind it (just like any addictive behaviour, e.g. overeating, one of my specialities)

    What is it that you get most out of spending? Is it the rush at the till of acquiring something new? Is it being able to have new things so you feel good when you go out or have people round? Are there any patterns in when you tend to spend (how are you feeling? what's going on?) and what kind of things you tend to spend on?

    Like with overeating, it's often a case of finding other activities that give you the same buzz without the spending (or eating or whatever)... and realising that the buzz you were getting from the addictive behaviour wasn't good for you (have you read Affluenza btw?)

    If none of this is relevant, please ignore - it was just your description of the spending as addictive that made me think a two-pronged approach might help :D

    All the best and listen to the guys on here - they know what they're talking about!

    EDIT: oops I see others have tacked this already! sorry! Sounds like you bf is brilliant too!
    MFW Challenge member no. 96 - on hold! :rolleyes:
    Girl Cub due 14th September :D
  • Pee
    Pee Posts: 3,826 Forumite
    I'm really glad you felt able to tell your boyfriend and even happier that a) he was very supportive and b) very positive about the challenge.

    Thank you for reporting that back to us.
  • redstararnie76
    redstararnie76 Posts: 2,205 Forumite
    Well done to you on talking to your bf about this. It's never easy, but it is amazing how much better you can feel after sharing it with someone else. My husband and I now have a deal - he helps me with not spending (and occasionally not eating chocolate - but that's a whole other set of issues!) and I help him with not drinking - neither addiction is easy to deal with, but together it does become a little easier...
    ;) Working hard in the hopes of being 'lucky' ;)
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