Help - addicted to spending

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Comments

  • Casanova
    Casanova Posts: 49 Forumite
    edited 18 June 2009 at 4:38PM
    Lihar, best of luck on your quest. Get yourself calm and analyse those monthly costs one by one - they can almost all be cut (in some cases massively!) using guides and advice on here - there is so much help available you can almost become overwhelmed!

    Anyway, my expertise is cars so I will focus on the petrol cost. £325 a month is a seriously enormous cost, even if you are doing over 20,000 miles a year. It occurred to me that there may be a problem with your car that is causing it to give poor economy. Do you have any idea what economy your car is doing? E.g. how many miles does £10 or £20 of fuel last (or whatever you put in)?

    Changing your car might not be a possibility for you in your current situation, but you can cut down on fuel costs in lots of ways - steady acceleration, correct tyre pressure, being aware of where cheaper garages are (and collecting points on your fuel purchases).
    (MSE Fuel Cost Guide - under Travel & Transport at the top - is worth a read)

    And if your car is giving much worse economy than it should do, its worth fixing the problem not just to save on fuel, but to look after the car.
  • Chops_2
    Chops_2 Posts: 6 Forumite
    Hello Lihar,

    Looking at your expenses, £90 per month on your mobile phone seems very expensive! With my phone I get 1000 texts and 600 mins each mth for £30. With regards to your clothes allowance, I would cut that out completely, only buying essentials e.g. underwear etc. I live on a very tight budget at the moment as I'm out of work and I've had to cut out all non essential expenditure - yes it may really hurt at first, but it is worth it in the long run!
  • lihar
    lihar Posts: 48 Forumite
    i think i might try the five p's idea. i think any amount that i put aside will make me feel a bit better. today i feel really blue. my friend went shopping at the weekend and invited me along. she hammered her credit card and i was so stupid and i did the same. i spent nearly 80 and im so disappointed in myself. if i cant even stop now,when i took a step in admitting it, what chance do i stand? i cant cut the card up as i need it to get my plane tickets (you know when you pick up your tickets it say s you must use the card you paid with). Shall I just give it to my mum and then i wont have any cards, I'll literrally have nothing else but my current account? They keep putting up my flipping overdraft too and now thats another thing to pay off. shall i tell them to stop? They tried to get me to have a second credit card with them (my bank) saying they could help me, by transferring my outstanding debts on interest, but then i got rejected and so thats another credit scoring gone against me and some hope that got stamped on.

    Help....please, i know i should just probably be slapped around the face,but i feel like im sinking today. so badly. im actually getting nervous that im paid in 4 days time, when i used to look forward to it because it meant i wasnt broke. Now im afraid it'll all be spent.
  • Tixy
    Tixy Posts: 31,455 Forumite
    Right can you take back anything that you purchased at the weekend? If you could get any money from that back you will feel much better.

    Otherwise tell yourself you have learnt your lesson, most of us have slip ups on the way, as long as we learn from them they are less likley to reoccur.

    I would tell them not to increase your overdraft anymore. It sounds like its just too tempting.

    Its still early days so don't beat yourself up so much. Its long term thats important lihar.



    Two options with your credit card, 1) give it to your Mum, 2) put in in a plastic tub with water and put in the freezer. Then you only defrost it if you really need it or the day before you go on holiday.
    A smile enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give
    or "It costs nowt to be nice"
  • dancingfairy
    dancingfairy Posts: 9,069 Forumite
    Hi. I think you need a plan to be honest as I guess you go shopping with your friend(s) - fairly often? you need to think of how you can limit the damage - you will need to either
    a) tell your friend(s) and see if they are still your friends
    b) think up some creative excuse - ie I'm saving for my holiday.
    c) buy the clothes and take them all back the day after
    d) suggest other things to do ie why don't we go to the cinema - this way your spend will be limited ie 1 cinema ticket, some icecream/pop corn, etc - it'll still be quite high but will be a lot less than going shopping.
    e) maybe try and suggest a what bargains can we get for under 15 ? - you really need to rummage and be creative and set yourself a budget. 15 is still quite high but you get the idea.
    or something else but a plan would help you not get into the mess every weekend.
    df
    Making my money go further with MSE :j
    How much can I save in 2012 challenge
    75/1200 :eek:
  • lihar
    lihar Posts: 48 Forumite
    ok thanks, I will do that. I did try to tell my friend that we should only buy something if it was in the sale but then we bought so much in the sales. I dont go shopping that often but i lost 4 stone and so i had to throw away most of my clothes/gave to charity, so dont have much. thats where a lot of my debt came from. i used to spend money on clothes because i hated how i looked. it was purely emotional if that makes sense.

    im going to call my bank now and see if they can help me get out of the overdraft mess. maybe they can let me start paying it back a little at a time. worth a try.

    thanks everyone, really appreciate the suggestions
  • Primula
    Primula Posts: 953 Forumite
    Hi there and welcome
    You have been given some good advice already, but re shopping with your friends, I would sit down witha cuppa with my friend and tell her all. Tell her you are in debt and want to get it sorted and pay it off, for all you know, all her shopping may be going on the credit card too, but if she is a real friend she will be behind you all the way.
    Good luck hun.
    P
  • mum2one
    mum2one Posts: 16,279 Forumite
    Xmas Saver!
    Primula wrote: »
    Hi there and welcome
    You have been given some good advice already, but re shopping with your friends, I would sit down witha cuppa with my friend and tell her all. Tell her you are in debt and want to get it sorted and pay it off, for all you know, all her shopping may be going on the credit card too, but if she is a real friend she will be behind you all the way.
    Good luck hun.
    P

    Totally agree if shes a true friend she'll stick by you through thick +thin, I know you've come to the boards and asked for help, which in itself is a brillaint, massive step, maybe sit and talk you ur friends, as maybe there trying to keep up with ur spending xx
    xx rip dad... we had our ups and downs but we’re always be family xx
  • tealady
    tealady Posts: 3,742 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Mortgage-free Glee!
    edited 23 June 2009 at 5:05AM
    Hi. Have you thought about having a "clothes swap" with friends. If you have friends of similar sizes you could swap clothes either temporarily or permanently.
    Also (having been a fan of spendaholics for years) have you considered counselling to see why you feel the need to spend, a lot of people had things which they had never talked about ( eg family illness) which contributed to their spending urges. Sadly I have no excuses I'm just cr*p with money!!
    Find out who you are and do that on purpose (thanks to Owain Wyn Jones quoting Dolly Parton)
  • lihar
    lihar Posts: 48 Forumite
    i think i am emotional spender. definitely but i dont really know why. maybe i should look to get some counselling.

    on a separate note, with regards to paying back my overdraft - i just called my bank and asked them not up my overdraft anymore and asked how i could pay it back. they said they can give me a 5 year loan which is £88.25 a month. this will pay back £3650 plus their interest, making it a total of £5295. should i do that? they said i can make overpayments anytime. or i had thought about reducing the overdraft by £50-100 a month myself, come each payday. but i dont know whats financially less stinging. as obv i have interest on the overdraft at the moment. and what do you think about this, my bank offering me a £12.95 a month on my current account, so i could get my car insurance and preferrential rates on my overdraft and credit card? as i cant move my credit card balance, i could at least reduce the interest by a percentage or two?
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