Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
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    HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »
    Is that the job you do now Purplemum? I know you do marketing too

    No, I did work in a school kitchen for a little while. I'm a document controller for a construction company now.
  • elizabethhull
    elizabethhull Posts: 765 Forumite
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    HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »
    DH just texted me to say was I ok. I replied no I feel tired and depressed. He apologised for getting stressed earlier and offered to cook. I feel a bit better now. Sometimes I just need him to notice how tired and fed up I am. DH tends to snap at me when he's stressed and I really resent that, so I'm glad he apologised.

    What a moanfest my diary is tonight. I hope I'm not depressing everyone :o. I will try to cheer up.

    Moan away whenever you like. What on earth is a diary for if you can't be honest about how you feel ? I think we're a pretty non-judgmental lot too.

    It occurred to me that DH probably hates being overweight, feeling fat/useless/stressed/depressed - none are conducive to seeing anyone else's problems.
    I don't like myself much when I'm at the 'top' of the weight tree, even though I know it's entirely my own fault.

    I don't know if this helps, but there are obviously times when OH and I are scratchy with each other and I don't feel kindly. So I fake it ! I deliberately do some of the little somethings that I'd normally only do if in a good mood, the idea being if you fake it for long enough it becomes real. Seems to work here anyway :)
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
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    I hope your day out goes well, HH, especially if you are enjoying some good weather. It's so cold, grey and showery here, definitely not a day for going out however nice the venue:(


    Are you rounding it off with your usual Sunday meal at your parents'? Another day when you don't have to cook so I hope you can relax and enjoy being cosseted a bit. You certainly deserve it:A


    Probably won't get on later so sending positive vibes and best wishes to you and DH for the hospital tomorrow.
  • Munchin
    Munchin Posts: 2,816 Forumite
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    Hi HHD

    I hope you have a lovely relaxing day and things start to look a bit brighter.
  • HairyHandofDartmoor
    HairyHandofDartmoor Posts: 13,960 Forumite
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    Deleted_User wrote: »
    No, I did work in a school kitchen for a little while. I'm a document controller for a construction company now.

    That's very different :rotfl:. You sound like you enjoy your job :)
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • HairyHandofDartmoor
    HairyHandofDartmoor Posts: 13,960 Forumite
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    elizabethhull wrote: »
    Moan away whenever you like. What on earth is a diary for if you can't be honest about how you feel ? I think we're a pretty non-judgmental lot too.

    It occurred to me that DH probably hates being overweight, feeling fat/useless/stressed/depressed - none are conducive to seeing anyone else's problems.
    I don't like myself much when I'm at the 'top' of the weight tree, even though I know it's entirely my own fault.

    I don't know if this helps, but there are obviously times when OH and I are scratchy with each other and I don't feel kindly. So I fake it ! I deliberately do some of the little somethings that I'd normally only do if in a good mood, the idea being if you fake it for long enough it becomes real. Seems to work here anyway :)

    You're right Elizabeth I know he does hate being overweight and being unhealthy. I try to be tolerant and understanding, but occasionally I just hit the wall :o.

    I think our stress levels are the real problem. DH stress eats, and I rush around relieving stress by going for walks and doing housework etc.

    If we can increase our income that would relieve the biggest stress, but also a change of scene would do us both good. DH and I need quality time together which doesn't involve working or watching tv (our usual time together :().

    Today was good because we went for a short walk which did us good I think :).
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • HairyHandofDartmoor
    HairyHandofDartmoor Posts: 13,960 Forumite
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    carbootcrazy wrote: »
    I hope your day out goes well, HH, especially if you are enjoying some good weather. It's so cold, grey and showery here, definitely not a day for going out however nice the venue:(


    Are you rounding it off with your usual Sunday meal at your parents'? Another day when you don't have to cook so I hope you can relax and enjoy being cosseted a bit. You certainly deserve it:A


    Probably won't get on later so sending positive vibes and best wishes to you and DH for the hospital tomorrow.

    Thank you Carboot :).

    Yes we are going to my parents this evening which will be nice. Although sometimes seeing my mum makes me a little stressed because I worry about her health. She's in her eighties.
    Munchin wrote: »
    Hi HHD

    I hope you have a lovely relaxing day and things start to look a bit brighter.

    Thank you Munchin :)
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • HairyHandofDartmoor
    HairyHandofDartmoor Posts: 13,960 Forumite
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    When we arrived at the NT venue the car park was full :eek: but after driving around a few times a car left, phew :T.

    We went for a short walk (DH didn't want to venture to far) and then had a drink in the cafe. DS1 came too and that was the first time he had left the house for a week. We saw some lovely spring flowers and ducks :).

    I really enjoyed it and I think the others did too. We said we'd try and go out more often on a Sunday.

    I also suggested that we spend a week in the summer going to a National Trust place every day, then we'd feel like we'd had a holiday :). Normally I can only get DH to take odd days off here and there. If we take our own food it would be quite MSE :).
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 90,514 Ambassador
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    Glad that yoou enjoyed your wee trip.
    Food for the soul.
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.     ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.
  • 117pauline
    117pauline Posts: 743 Forumite
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    It's good the three of you had some quality time away from the house.

    I know it is hard to break those habits that have been around for years. everyone gets a role and they play it, often without even realising it. It's also easy for those outside the situation to "see" what is actually happening.

    If you have time, have a look at articles by James Clear or Gretchen Rubin. They write quite a bit about habits. I have found it quite interesting to identify habits I have which aren't beneficial.

    And lastly, we do things for the right reasons at the time. Remember that when you are mulling things over.

    Enjoy your meal, take care honey
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
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