Looking after partners daughter advice please

System · 21 April 2018 at 10:50PM

and meanwhile, in the middle of all this drama theres two kids stuck in the middle.

So sad.

Sea_Shell · 22 April 2018 at 7:17AM

I think the Mum just needs to reflect on what might continue to happen in the future, if this new relationship turns into a long term, serious one....she's going to have to come to terms with the fact that the OP will be spending time with her children, whether in their Dad's presence or not.

A lot of families (mine included) face these situations, and i'm sure the kids end up spending "one-on-one" time with their Step-mum, on their "Dad Weekend" occasionally. Especially when they go for even longer in the holidays. What should the Mum do....she might not like it, but no point in making a fuss, that doesn't help the kids at all.

Red-Squirrel_2 · 22 April 2018 at 9:16AM

anna_1977 wrote: »

I have suggested that maybe we all sit down together, however, the last thing I want to do is make things uncomfy for worse for her. I do want her to know that I'm absolutely not trying to replace her or be a mother to her children. I am very fond of them BUT I have been there, done that and put the other side

Honestly I wouldn't do this. You are dad's girlfriend of less than a year, I'm sure you care about him and the kids, but don't be making moves that suggest you see yourself as an equal party in the childrens' lives to their parents. Your stake in the situation is nothing like their mother's.

Let your partner take the lead in coming to agreements with the ex.

anna_1977 · 22 April 2018 at 9:38AM

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Honestly I wouldn't do this. You are dad's girlfriend of less than a year, I'm sure you care about him and the kids, but don't be making moves that suggest you see yourself as an equal party in the childrens' lives to their parents. Your stake in the situation is nothing like their mother's.

Let your partner take the lead in coming to agreements with the ex.

Thanks for the advice - taken on board

I'll let him deal with the situation directly with her knot getting involved

Red-Squirrel_2 · 22 April 2018 at 9:54AM

anna_1977 wrote: »

Thanks for the advice - taken on board I'll let him deal with the situation directly with her knot getting involved

That's great, its really good that you are so open ti advice and opinions. Another thing to consider is that if you did all meet up, she would be outnumbered and probably very aware of it being '2 against 1' and likely to feel on the defensive, so it wouldn't be the best dynamic for sorting things anyway!

anna_1977 · 22 April 2018 at 9:59AM

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

That's great, its really good that you are so open ti advice and opinions. Another thing to consider is that if you did all meet up, she would be outnumbered and probably very aware of it being '2 against 1' and likely to feel on the defensive, so it wouldn't be the best dynamic for sorting things anyway!

I'm absolutely up for advice. My main priority is making sure these kiddies are happy and supporting the OH. I just want an easy life

pollyanna24 · 26 April 2018 at 4:01PM

Haven't read all the posts, but I've been in this situation as the "mother."

My ex would take the girls for his weekend and then go to work on the Saturday.

I get that he might need to do this and leave the girls with his girlfriend from time to time, but from my point of view, I would rather them have stayed with me as their mum so I get to spend more time with them (I work a lot, so appreciate what time I do get with them) rather than them just spending it with the girlfriend.

I suppose it never entered my mind that she mind want to spend time with someone else's kids which I guess was naive of me.

Looking after partners daughter advice please

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