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On the surface of it it does appear to be more hassle than it's worth but perhaps in helping them the three of them have developed a certain level of understanding or a bond of some type between them
Not sure about a "bond", but... Kicking one or the other (or even both) out would only add to the homeless problem and wouldn't solve the issues they have. By helping these two people to talk about their personal problems, I can point them in the direction of expert help, and with the assistance of the police C.I.T. safeguards can be (have been) put in place.
That he hit her the once does not make him guilty of domestic violence (assault, yes). Her alcohol fueled "tiffs" may suggest domestic abuse on her part - Neither of them have shown any sign of aggression towards myself. If anything, it has been a courteous, polite, and respectful attitude. As long as that continues, and we can work on the personal issues, they can stay subject to two things - No violence/abuse, and the rent is paid in good time.I don't remember giving you permission to address me as "Smod".
I've got a couple of juicy quotes from ajak81that you can use against him...:D
Or I can loan you a wet kipper.Her courage will change the world.
Treasure the moments that you have. Savour them for as long as you can for they will never come back again.0 -
You are their LL not their counsellor.
As for domestic violence you clearly have no idea. Once is enough if the partner doesn’t leave the first time they are hit they are extremely unlikely to leave. You are encouraging them to stay in a dysfunctional relationship for your own gain.1 -
Your relationship with the lodgers has certainly changed since the start of the thread and like many of the others I don't see that its changing for the better.
Both your lodgers need help and not the type that you are providing.
I cant help but wonder if the next step is that they forget to pay the rent to you now that you are viewing them as friends.
You have become too connected to their lives to realistically continue in a lodger/LL situation.
In just a very few short months these 2 have completely taken over your home and your life.What started as a thread about a request to cook has clearly turned far more sinister in the space of maybe 12 weeks. Goodness only knows what the next 12 weeks will bring but you aren't qualified to deal with it.
They need proper help and you need to back away.in S 38 T 2 F 50
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That he hit her the once does not make him guilty of domestic violence (assault, yes).
Since they are in a relationship, yes it does.
I've got a couple of juicy quotes from ajak81that you can use against him...:D
Or I can loan you a wet kipper.
No thanks, FB. I think I have read quite enough of his/her posts already. I also think he/she is doing just fine with that big old wooden spoon, don't you?1 -
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So....
Are the cooked meals good at least?0 -
Red-Squirrel wrote: »Yes, yes it does.
Don't know why you assume/believe it was/will be just once anyway. Its hardly ever just once.
Once in this house,but I doubt its the first time.
Possibly its even a contributing factor as to how they ended up at OP's place,after a similar occurrence somewhere else.
I wonder if the OP took any form of reference for the couple as I cant believe this cycle of violence is a new trait that has just developed.
how these 2 behave is by no means normal behaviour in a relationship and if the OP thinks she can save them in some ways I want to use the word deluded.in S 38 T 2 F 50
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need_an_answer wrote: »Both your lodgers need help and not the type that you are providing.
I cant help but wonder if the next step is that they forget to pay the rent to you now that you are viewing them as friends.
You have become too connected to their lives to realistically continue in a lodger/LL situation.
In just a very few short months these 2 have completely taken over your home and your life.
I am not a counselor, but I can push them in the direction of professional help - This is something that has already been done. I can also provide an ear and encourage them to talk, if only they would spend time in the lounge.
I do not view them as friends - It is a business relationship that depends on the rent being paid in a timely fashion. If the rent isn't paid, then out they go. A point that I have made abundantly clear from the outset. As for taking over the place or my life, certainly not. Aside from two extra toothbrushes in the bathroom and a tiny bit of clutter in the kitchen, you'd be hard pushed to know they are around.
I've even asked them what colour they want the walls & woodwork in their room - Still waiting on a response despite providing colour charts.Her courage will change the world.
Treasure the moments that you have. Savour them for as long as you can for they will never come back again.0 -
As for my two lodgers, they are very real. I do not "enjoy" having to intervene in their arguments, but do so in an attempt to prevent things turning nasty. If that means dialing 101 and asking for assistance, then that is what I'll do.
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sorry but this quote alone makes it sound as if they have taken over more of your life,and your ability to have "quiet enjoyment" and personal space in your home.
That's a little bit more than 2 toothbrushes and a little bit of clutter if you ask me!
"hard pushed to know they are around" sounds pure domestic bliss really until the next time.
Colour charts for their room,thinking of painting it whatever colour they want...deluded.
They've got you wrapped round their finger and if you think that's a business relationship you have,think again.in S 38 T 2 F 50
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You getting a new lodger OP ?0
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