12-24 weeks pregnant (part 4)

Mrs_T_M · 16 December 2014 at 12:12PM

ashtray_heart wrote: »

Hello all. How is everyone getting on? I am not sure where the time is going - seems to be flying by. Have a terrible cold and not sure what I can take as there seems to be so much conflicting advice out there. My throat is really sore but I read that I can't take strepsils and somewhere else that I shouldn't have honey? Any advice ladies about how to get over it?

I'd stay away from the strepsils, but honey is perfectly fine. It's babies who shouldn't have honey until they are 1 year old.

Best things for a cold, drink more water than usual, keep away from too much dairy (can cause mucus to get thicker, not good when you're trying to get it out!), and rest as much as is possible.

georgie262 · 16 December 2014 at 2:39PM

Bit of a long shot, specific question here: Have any of the ladies expecting Baby number 2+ who had emergency c-section decided what they are going to do about the delivery of baby number 2? I've just been handed a load of literature and told to decide between planned c-section or VBAC and I don't know what to do

RingToBe · 16 December 2014 at 3:04PM

This is a bit of a rant, but also searching for help/answers/opinions.

Without going into too much detail, I had a really bad time after the birth of DS 15 months ago (complaint currently in hand with NHS), which required more surgery in a few areas but has still not yet been done. We actually ended up paying to have one problem corrected because I literally couldn't function without me being in agony. Referred backwards and forwards etc, and now I'm (obviously) pregnant again so can't be operated on until after birth.

I have been seen by numerous consultants, though I have 3 regular ones. They have all told me that I should categorically have a C-section, no room for discussion, with any subsequent children otherwise there's a risk I will end up faecally incontinent due to the damage that was done during delivery of #1. It's known that even the weight of the baby will be putting a strain on the issue and so I've been seen by a physiotherapist who has suggested a support band when I get bigger and heavier to relieve me of the weight.

After relaying this to my midwife at our booking in appointment, she referred me to a see a consultant so that I could be counselled correctly about the birth and make sure I knew everything that was going on and why. After seeing the consultant, who actually turned out to be a registrar who hadn't read my notes and had assumed I'd had a normal delivery, I was told there was no reason I couldn't have a normal vaginal delivery. I didn't think too much into it since she hadn't even bothered to read my notes, so I thought hey, what does she know?

Obviously this has got me thinking. Over the last 12 months I've mentally prepared myself for the fact that I will be going in for a caesarean should I have any more children and erased any hope of every having a natural delivery again.

Now I get told yesterday at my 16 week appointment with the midwife that she'd spoken with a senior (whose never seen me) that she can't see any reason why I can't go ahead normally either.

I am now waiting for an appointment to come through from the consultant I should have seen in the first place.

I am just becoming increasingly frantic and, quite frankly, p***ed off with all this conflicting information. Who do I believe? What do I do?
Do I go ahead, run the risk of a natural delivery, and end up incontinent? Or just go for the C-section I'd resigned myself to. I was completely devastated when I was told that I couldn't have any more children naturally, so this is a small ray of hope, but risky nonetheless.

I just genuinely don't know who to believe - 3 consultants, or a midwife, senior midwife and a registrar?

RTB x

georgie262 · 16 December 2014 at 4:35PM

Hi Ringtobe sorry you had such a hard time after your first labour - sounds terrible. I feel like I've read your story before have you posted on another thread/forum recently? I would just start by asking lots of questions. Speak to the consultants and ask specifically why you couldn't have a natural birth again and then put this to the midwives who have said they can't see why not.
I had an emergency c-Section with my DS1 and although previously I had said I categorically do not want one it wasn't actually that bad. Yes the recovery time was longer (but possibly not in your case from what you've said) but the overall experience was not that bad and for me this was after 2 days of labour! I've been given the choice of what I want and am in a total quandary I have no idea what to do :-(

Aunty-Pickle · 16 December 2014 at 4:42PM

RingToBe, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. It must be bad enough having had a bad experience last time - and now being shunted between two almost completely conflicting options and not knowing who to trust.

From the face of it (and without knowing all the details) I would be tempted to say that I would put more trust in the opinions of your "regular" consultants who surely are more aware of and more knowledgeable about your previous experience and the impact it has had on you physically (and mentally).

I know from personal experience that it is hard to think that you have no choice about giving birth via a c-section and how disappointing that can be when you want the chance for a "normal" vaginal delivery. I am fortunate in that after my recent surgery I am "allowed" to have (well, try for!) a vaginal delivery which I'm really pleased about. However, I suppose you need to weigh up the pros and cons for each option.

Is having a scheduled c-section - as much as that might not be your preferred choice - the "better" option in terms of having a controlled birth experience, with less risk of further complications to pre-existing conditions?
Or, are the risks of a c-section, coupled with the feeling of disappointment and lack of choice, too much to contend with?

For what it's worth, when I was going to have to have a c-section, I talked to my best friend who had one (scheduled for twins). She really reassured me that it was a completely calm and wonderful experience. Is there anyone you can talk to who has gone through a c-section?

I guess I may not really be helping! I'm sure your head feels like it's going round in circles with no definitive option being obviously "better" than the other - just pros and cons for each.

When do you have to make a decision by?

jediquigley · 16 December 2014 at 6:21PM

=georgie

I am aiming for a home water birth after a emergency c section. I found the facebook group 'vbac support group' extremely helpful. There are midwifes, doulas and everyday mums on there with some great advice.

I have been to vbac clinic and was told by consultant that he wouldn't recommend a water birth or a home water birth as they like to continuously monitor baby as in 50-80% signs of scar rupture can be picked up from fetal distress. But I hope to go against there plans as at the end of the day I make the decisions about my body and my baby. I plan to speak with supervisor of midwfies to make this possible, I wouldn't know any of this was possible without that facebook group as doctors don't give you the whole story.

Maybe post your thoughts and feelings on the Facebook group and ask for advice. For me personally I would like to avoid hospitals, induction and csection as for me they made the labour/birth of my child the worse time in my life.

Laura

wendz86 · 16 December 2014 at 7:24PM

Appointment went well today. Heard the heartbeat which made me feel better, will feel even better when i feel some more movement. Midwife said it made her day and was lovely. She has told me to come in for same appointments as a first time mum so at least i will get a couple more check ups.

Ringtobe - sorry about all the conflicting advice you have been getting. Must be so hard to know what to do.

Georgie - i am leaning towards a vbac . Going to go to the session they do on it and find out more. I didn't mind my section but i don't really want to be in hospital so long again.

Aunty-Pickle · 16 December 2014 at 8:07PM

wendz - so glad you had a good appointment and hooray for hearing the heartbeat!!! It's good you are having more regular check-ups too.

x_missymoo_x · 17 December 2014 at 8:53AM

Glad you had a successful scan wendz

I'm 24 weeks as of yesterday :eek: how did that happen!? Actually, don't answer that, I know how it happened

but time is just whizzing by isn't it?! Anyways, I have a midwife appointment this morning - supposed to be next week but I didn't really fancy seeing her on Christmas Eve

- so I will come back to give an update before moving on up (now singing the M People song...) Think I may just say hello but will probably use this thread more still until more of you join me!

Will pop by later, have a lovely day ladies

Princess_kate · 17 December 2014 at 10:10AM

I'm 24 weeks today, you're right missy it has flown by! Can't believe we're ready to move to the next, (and final!!) thread! It is another important milestone reached, and a really important one.

I also have the midwife this morning, same reason as you missy as not fancying it on christmas eve, has meant I've had a bit of a lie in & not had to rush around his morning.

Don't know if I'm brave enough to move yet, safety in numbers tho, hehe, and there is quite a few of us due to move shortly. x

12-24 weeks pregnant (part 4)

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