Fianc! moving into home I own
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Correct, that’s exactly what it is. Not a phone call though. I went to seek legal advice today.Huge chunks of this sound like they're just cut and pasted from a website of some sort of legal firm.
And this sounds like the response to a phone call:
Yes, I live in Scotland and now realise the laws are different to most of those in England relating to marital/co-habitation stuff. Why? Scotland is part of UK...!!0 -
As someone who went through hell and back with having to buy someone out and had to increase the mortgage from 39,000 to 60,000 (yes this was between 1989 and 1990 when interest rate was at 15%), I would say rent this house out and buy a house together.
If you have to remortgage and take out your deposit do that. This way both of you will have equality in the new house.
And get him to sign a prenup so that if you were to divorce the house your parents bought you would not be part of the settlement.
This may sound vicious, but I have been there, of course, not everything goes there, do you want to look back on this and say I wish I had.
Bear in mind also, that 90% of the time, it's the women that is left with the children.
I am in a stable relationship now, both of us have our own properties - we live in his and mine is rented out.
One final word, do not have join credit cards and have a bank account in your name only.
All of the above does not mean that you do not love your fiance, but sometimes men and women let love cloud their judgemnet.
If the shoe was on the other foot, I would advise your fiance of doing the same.0 -
Thanks for all your comments. It seems to me that I have been judged and criticised by most of the negative comments and not really had the question answered or ideas of what can be done. (With exception of a couple genuine posts) The question I asked has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship, getting married or not, what you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship, my job, my wage, the way I/we choose to do in our lives, what my parents do etc.
I have had a chat with a man about it and he said I was very sensible. There are options such as a
co-habitation agreement, a minute of agreement or a pre nuptial agreement. They get written up, signed by both and logged by a lawyer. Cost = £100 ish. Small price to pay for what could be a huge loss. I also learned that it’s not a 50/50 split after a marriage break up and pre nuptial agreements are legal but often get challenged after a break up so sometimes have to be looked at and decided/altered by the court, depending on the circumstances.
I have lived in my home for 10 years. If I got married and split up within say 5 years, my husband will not get 50% of a home he hasn’t paid for (no mortgage or rent) because he’s lived in it for a short time. If my husband had a big fat savings account, I wouldn’t be entitled to 50% of it either. Seemingly, there are lots of things that are looked at during a break up/divorce when there are situations like I have. Different if we had a joint mortgage or joint rent.
I would go and get proper legal advice from a qualified legal practitioner as there is no way that a complex, legally binding document will be drawn up and executed for such a small amount. Solicitors charge more than £100 for an hour of work. To mitigate against the possibility of the documents being challenged you will have to pay for two solicitors - one for each of you, so that it can be demonstrated that you both had impartial legal advice before signing.0 -
As someone who went through hell and back with having to buy someone out and had to increase the mortgage from 39,000 to 60,000 (yes this was between 1989 and 1990 when interest rate was at 15%), I would say rent this house out and buy a house together.
If you have to remortgage and take out your deposit do that. This way both of you will have equality in the new house.
And get him to sign a prenup so that if you were to divorce the house your parents bought you would not be part of the settlement.
This may sound vicious, but I have been there, of course, not everything goes there, do you want to look back on this and say I wish I had.
Bear in mind also, that 90% of the time, it's the women that is left with the children.
I am in a stable relationship now, both of us have our own properties - we live in his and mine is rented out.
One final word, do not have join credit cards and have a bank account in your name only.
All of the above does not mean that you do not love your fiance, but sometimes men and women let love cloud their judgemnet.
If the shoe was on the other foot, I would advise your fiance of doing the same.
Sorry to hear what you went through. This is my fear. I think it’s a very sensible move. My house does not have a mortgage. We won’t be able to get one as I returned to work, part time a year ago after taking a 10 year break. My partner is 59 in May (17 years older than me) so doubtful he will get a mortgage, or it would be very high monthly payments. We don’t have children together. Thank you for your comments re doing all this doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. You just don’t know what the future holds and my parents wish is I’m never homeless. Xx0 -
I would go and get proper legal advice from a qualified legal practitioner as there is no way that a complex, legally binding document will be drawn up and executed for such a small amount. Solicitors charge more than £100 for an hour of work. To mitigate against the possibility of the documents being challenged you will have to pay for two solicitors - one for each of you, so that it can be demonstrated that you both had impartial legal advice before signing.
This was proper legal advice I got. It’s just 1 document we need (for the 3 options suggested to us) for both. The documents can’t be changed without permission/signatures from both of us. The £100 ish is just for the document. Maybe there is a charge for their time, I’m not sure. Thanks0 -
A 57 year old man who doesn't own his own house? Who plans to be not working within 5 years whilst his wife will still have a minimum of twenty years of working to go at that point?
Wanting to get married too quickly for his girlfriend and pushing for it?
Wants to move in and is already deciding upon improvement works? (How many places need two bathrooms and to be made larger when, if anything, the amount of space required will be less once a child grows up and moves out - is it to increase the value of the property with a view to a [strike]forced[/strike] sale, to perhaps fund care home fees, to ensure it can't be left solely to the now 13 year old?)
Talk of having to 'walk on eggshells' because you might throw him out?
Out of interest, exactly how long have you been together, how long was it before he proposed and how long will it be until the wedding? Was he extremely intense, sweeping you off your feet, promising you the world and that he'd never known anyone like you?
In other words - are you absolutely sure that this man wants to marry you - or is he pushing to marry you because he knows it gives him ownership of around £100,000 + the cost of all improvement works and if you don't, it goes to your daughter?I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
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My suggestion? Rent out the house that your parents have bought for you, so that you have an income - use that income to rent a house for you to share with your fiance. Keep "your" house out of all joint finances.0
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This was proper legal advice I got. It’s just 1 document we need (for the 3 options suggested to us) for both. The documents can’t be changed without permission/signatures from both of us. The £100 ish is just for the document. Maybe there is a charge for their time, I’m not sure. Thanks
As prenuptial agreements are not legally enforceable their intent is only accepted in some cases and a "cut and paste" document is very unlikely to reach this standard. It's a bespoke document, like a properly drawn up will (something else you will need to do post marriage/ in contemplation of marriage). If you've been told that £100 will give you your "get out of jail free card" in the event of relationship breakdown/ divorce then you will be getting a worthless piece of paper. A quick Google search will tell you that this type of legal work has another zero on the cost.0
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