Fianc! moving into home I own

Kynthia

Unfortunately no matter how much you wish it were different, there is no way to guarantee your house remains yours if you marry. In England when you marry all your assets become marital assets. If a marriage is short or you have a pre-nup there's a good chance you would retain the home in a split. Similarly if he has equivalent assets when valuing his savings and pensions then a split would likely mean he would keep those while you kept the house. However you've no idea if there would be illness, debts, job loss, etc in the future that would erode your combined savings.

I can understand the greater responsibility you feel to protect the property due it being bought with your parents money and not yours. However it may have been better if tgey had retained ownership then, although that comes with its own downsides.

anna_1977

sadly I don't think there's much you can do.

Your parents should have put the house in a trust fund then it could have been protected.

74jax

Mapeidde wrote: »

I don’t think we would get married if we didn’t love each other. My fianc! wanted to get married months after we were engaged but at that point I wasn’t ready. .

Do you know 'being engaged' is 'being engaged to be married', if you weren't ready when he said 'will you marry me?' why did you say yes....


I have been in your situation, I was a single mum with a house and my now husband moved in.


I can't help but feel your parents having given you 'joy' from this, they have given you independence that you feel torn with.

LandyAndy

Mortgage the house for the maximum you can borrow, in your joint names, and give the money to your parents to keep for you. Then you and your fiance can repay the mortgage just like most other people but 'your' money will be safe. You may be able to tell a lot about your fiance from their reaction to this proposal.

FBaby

Simple. Dont marry if you are not at he stage of commitment where you are prepared to see everything you own as yours as in his and yours rsthercthan yours and his. Until then, you are not in 5be right mindset to be married. You don't need to be married to have a fulfilling relationship.

He moves in and pays nothing towards the house, repairs paid by you etc... He doesn't invest in the property but get a BTL property and rents it out. He is fully responsible for paying all costs associated with it.

In many years to come and all goes well, maybe you can then consider sharing everything.

nicechap

Mapeidde wrote: »

Yes, I’ve thought about that. She is 13 just now so not long till she turns 18.... haha I like that!!! I’m laughing but even your own daughter could evict you lol ��

So you don't trust your fianc! or your daughter. Not sure the problem is him feeling like a lodger.

You mention your fianc! has offered to put money into the property for improvements but (I may have missed it) what other assets he would be bringing to the marriage (his current property, higher wage, pension, savings, investments). Is he "worth" more than you over the next 5/10/15 years? (you mention you staying in a minimum wage job.).

Maybe you're focus is too narrow and you would benefit from seeing it as a whole picture.

Poor_Single_lady

But if you want legal advice on protecting your assets (which I do think is sensible) then spend some of your money going to see a solicitor.

If you want the public’s opinion then post on a public forum.

I just think your post is sensible but cold. Your house is controlling what you do. Which I think is sad. I think you would be happier marrying your possessions and your house.

74jax

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

. Your house is controlling what you do. Which I think is sad.

That is totally how I see it and tried to reply. You put it so much better than me.

gettingtheresometime

OP


Have you discussed this with your parents? I only ask as you may be hung up on what may happen more than them.


It would certainly be worth having a conversation with them, if only to put your mind at rest as I'm sensing you are concerned about protecting their gift.

Mapeidde

nicechap wrote: »

So you don't trust your fianc! or your daughter. Not sure the problem is him feeling like a lodger.

You mention your fianc! has offered to put money into the property for improvements but (I may have missed it) what other assets he would be bringing to the marriage (his current property, higher wage, pension, savings, investments). Is he "worth" more than you over the next 5/10/15 years? (you mention you staying in a minimum wage job.).

Maybe you're focus is too narrow and you would benefit from seeing it as a whole picture.

Its not really a case of is he ‘worth’ more than me in the future (in my eyes)... My fianc! is 58 and I’m 17 years younger. He is self employed and will possibly retire in the next 5 years. My parents own a few houses and help me out when needed. I love my job. It’s very flexible, part time, stress free and allows me to be there for my daughter when required. The fact it’s minimum wage sucks but I’d rather have that than my previous job, full time, home work, working late, under pressure, and not having time to spend with my daughter.
I have looked at the wider picture and understand what you’re saying but my question was, is there any way of protecting my home if my fianc! was to invest in it.
I have heard of minute of agreements and break up agreements which are done through a lawyer. We are seeking advice tomorrow so hopefully get some more advice.