Fianc! moving into home I own

Mapeidde

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

OP


Have you discussed this with your parents? I only ask as you may be hung up on what may happen more than them.


It would certainly be worth having a conversation with them, if only to put your mind at rest as I'm sensing you are concerned about protecting their gift.

I love this reply... I have tried, a couple of years ago, but I don’t think they get it. I think they think We should live in my house as if it were his, but if he’s a naughty boy, he will be asked to leave. This isn’t giving him security or joint commitment, and would make him walk on egg shells / feel like a lodger and I don’t want him to feel like that. I am seeking advice tomorrow, and will have a good chat with my dad, who is also coming along.

74jax

Mapeidde wrote: »

. My parents own a few houses and help me out when needed.

Mapeidde wrote: »

, and will have a good chat with my dad, who is also coming along.

Is your partner coming along too today?

How often do your parents help you out, are they happy you are moving on and won't be your first call when you need help anymore? And is your partner happy to take that role, are you happy to be that person for your partner?

Remember I've been in your position (I'm the one with the prenup) but your situation seems 'off'. I really hope you can find a way to sort this.

Has your fiance said how long he is willing to wait after asking you to marry him, you saying yes, then changing your mind? He might be haply to continue as you are.

ViolaLass

I get the sense your parents don't want you to get married. Does this form part of your decision?

Mapeidde

Thanks for all your comments. It seems to me that I have been judged and criticised by most of the negative comments and not really had the question answered or ideas of what can be done. (With exception of a couple genuine posts) The question I asked has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship, getting married or not, what you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship, my job, my wage, the way I/we choose to do in our lives, what my parents do etc.
I have had a chat with a man about it and he said I was very sensible. There are options such as a
co-habitation agreement, a minute of agreement or a pre nuptial agreement. They get written up, signed by both and logged by a lawyer. Cost = £100 ish. Small price to pay for what could be a huge loss. I also learned that it’s not a 50/50 split after a marriage break up and pre nuptial agreements are legal but often get challenged after a break up so sometimes have to be looked at and decided/altered by the court, depending on the circumstances.
I have lived in my home for 10 years. If I got married and split up within say 5 years, my husband will not get 50% of a home he hasn’t paid for (no mortgage or rent) because he’s lived in it for a short time. If my husband had a big fat savings account, I wouldn’t be entitled to 50% of it either. Seemingly, there are lots of things that are looked at during a break up/divorce when there are situations like I have. Different if we had a joint mortgage or joint rent.

Mapeidde

When you first move in together it may seem unthinkable that things could go wrong. However, making a cohabitation agreement is a sensible way to start this new stage of your life and protect against problems that might arise.

Advice on cohabitees’ rights

Since 2006 couples who live together, without marrying, have had certain rights in Scotland, and financial claims may apply in the event of either separation or death. These include (but are not limited to):

rights to household goods acquired during cohabitation
certain inheritance if a partner dies without having a Will.
If you are already cohabiting or thinking of buying a home with someone or moving in together, a cohabitation agreement can set out what you want to do about those rights. With that agreed, you can focus on enjoying the present, and not worry about what may happen in the future.

We have created many cohabitation agreements for our clients and their families. It’s a simple and straightforward way to protect yourself should your relationship change in the future.

nicechap

Mapeidde wrote: »

Thanks for all your comments. It seems to me that I have been judged and criticised by most of the negative comments and not really had the question answered or ideas of what can be done. (With exception of a couple genuine posts) The question I asked has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship, getting married or not, what you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship, my job, my wage, the way I/we choose to do in our lives, what my parents do etc.
I have had a chat with a man about it and he said I was very sensible. There are options such as a
co-habitation agreement, a minute of agreement or a pre nuptial agreement. They get written up, signed by both and logged by a lawyer. Cost = £100 ish. Small price to pay for what could be a huge loss. I also learned that it’s not a 50/50 split after a marriage break up and pre nuptial agreements are legal but often get challenged after a break up so sometimes have to be looked at and decided/altered by the court, depending on the circumstances.
I have lived in my home for 10 years. If I got married and split up within say 5 years, my husband will not get 50% of a home he hasn’t paid for (no mortgage or rent) because he’s lived in it for a short time. If my husband had a big fat savings account, I wouldn’t be entitled to 50% of it either. Seemingly, there are lots of things that are looked at during a break up/divorce when there are situations like I have. Different if we had a joint mortgage or joint rent.

Mapeidde wrote: »

When you first move in together it may seem unthinkable that things could go wrong. However, making a cohabitation agreement is a sensible way to start this new stage of your life and protect against problems that might arise.

Advice on cohabitees’ rights

Since 2006 couples who live together, without marrying, have had certain rights in Scotland, and financial claims may apply in the event of either separation or death. These include (but are not limited to):

rights to household goods acquired during cohabitation
certain inheritance if a partner dies without having a Will.
If you are already cohabiting or thinking of buying a home with someone or moving in together, a cohabitation agreement can set out what you want to do about those rights. With that agreed, you can focus on enjoying the present, and not worry about what may happen in the future.

We have created many cohabitation agreements for our clients and their families. It’s a simple and straightforward way to protect yourself should your relationship change in the future.

Thanks for taking the time to answer your own question, even if you have not fully understood all the legal implications of your solutions.

Mojisola

Mapeidde wrote: »

Since 2006 couples who live together, without marrying, have had certain rights in Scotland, and financial claims may apply in the event of either separation or death.

Do you live in Scotland?

It's always worth mentioning because Scottish laws are sometimes different to those that apply in England and Wales.

Mapeidde

nicechap wrote: »

Thanks for taking the time to answer your own question, even if you have not fully understood all the legal implications of your solutions.

Why the sarcasm?
What makes you think I’ve not fully understood all the legal implications of my solution?
You must see that most of the posts have concentrated on slagging off my sensible thought of protecting my house, a gift... I am very lucky. No mortgage, no rent for my life. It would benefit any partner I have... can you empathise?!

74jax

Who did you actually speak too? We had a pre-nup, and it's not legally binding? If he told you it was then I'd be a bit wary? You also don't draw them up, sign them and log with a lawyer? For them to be recognised in court (different to legally binding) you both need to have taken separate advice etc etc... I won't bore you with the rest as clearly 'your man' has told you all you need to know, but please make sure this is legitimate advice. As what you have wrote so far has loads of loops holes in it.




EDITED - I've just seen you are in Scotland, you really should have said at the start as the legalities are so different.

maman

Huge chunks of this sound like they're just cut and pasted from a website of some sort of legal firm.

Mapeidde wrote: »

When you first move in together it may seem unthinkable that things could go wrong. However, making a cohabitation agreement is a sensible way to start this new stage of your life and protect against problems that might arise.

Advice on cohabitees’ rights

Since 2006 couples who live together, without marrying, have had certain rights in Scotland, and financial claims may apply in the event of either separation or death. These include (but are not limited to):

rights to household goods acquired during cohabitation
certain inheritance if a partner dies without having a Will.
If you are already cohabiting or thinking of buying a home with someone or moving in together, a cohabitation agreement can set out what you want to do about those rights. With that agreed, you can focus on enjoying the present, and not worry about what may happen in the future.

We have created many cohabitation agreements for our clients and their families. It’s a simple and straightforward way to protect yourself should your relationship change in the future.

And this sounds like the response to a phone call:

Mapeidde wrote: »

Thanks for all your comments. It seems to me that I have been judged and criticised by most of the negative comments and not really had the question answered or ideas of what can be done. (With exception of a couple genuine posts) The question I asked has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship, getting married or not, what you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship, my job, my wage, the way I/we choose to do in our lives, what my parents do etc.
I have had a chat with a man about it and he said I was very sensible. There are options such as a
co-habitation agreement, a minute of agreement or a pre nuptial agreement. They get written up, signed by both and logged by a lawyer. Cost = £100 ish. Small price to pay for what could be a huge loss. I also learned that it’s not a 50/50 split after a marriage break up and pre nuptial agreements are legal but often get challenged after a break up so sometimes have to be looked at and decided/altered by the court, depending on the circumstances.
I have lived in my home for 10 years. If I got married and split up within say 5 years, my husband will not get 50% of a home he hasn’t paid for (no mortgage or rent) because he’s lived in it for a short time. If my husband had a big fat savings account, I wouldn’t be entitled to 50% of it either. Seemingly, there are lots of things that are looked at during a break up/divorce when there are situations like I have. Different if we had a joint mortgage or joint rent.