Fianc! moving into home I own

gettingtheresometime

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

You totally have the wrong attitude to get married.
You don’t say that you want to, only that he does. Are you in love. You don’t sound like you are.

You sound like you are putting the house before him. I wouldn’t want him to marry you if he was my friend- I would think what is he doing with this person that only seems to care about the house.

Putting your ownership in capitals makes you look very spoilt in my view. Like you are saying it’s MINE MINE MINE.

In fairness I think if my parents had bought me a £200k house I might be a little wary as well especially as we don't know the OP's back story

ViolaLass

Mapeidde wrote: »

I know that, but he wants us to get married as he feels it’s commitment.

But do you?

Do you want to share your worldly goods with him etc?

Deep down, are you concerned that he might be after your house?

Mapeidde

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

You totally have the wrong attitude to get married.
You don’t say that you want to, only that he does. Are you in love. You don’t sound like you are.

You sound like you are putting the house before him. I wouldn’t want him to marry you if he was my friend- I would think what is he doing with this person that only seems to care about the house.

Putting your ownership in capitals makes you look very spoilt in my view. Like you are saying it’s MINE MINE MINE.

Thanks for your comments. I posted on here to ask if there was anything we could do to protect my home and my fianc!’s mone. I didnt find it necessary to detail our personal feelings for each other. I don’t think we would get married if we didn’t love each other. My fianc! wanted to get married months after we were engaged but at that point I wasn’t ready. We have been together a while now and know each other pretty well. A couple of my/our close friends who know us well have told me to seek advice as they fear I could loose it and understand my parents reasons for giving me lifetime security. Not saying he is a bad guy but you don’t know people. They can change. Anything could happen, especially after a break up. People get nasty and are encouraged by others to get what they can. Again, I stress I’m not saying we will split up but just want to protect my home. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here. I don’t think anyone can really understand unless they were in my position. Look at Michael Douglas and Catherine ZetaJones, they signed a pre nup before they got married and several other celebrities have too. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who is in this situation. Referring my to being spoilt is abit personal too. I come from a loving, close family and it was their kind choice to do that for me. Can I shock you and tell you that my 13 year old daughter has a house too. She has had it since she was 2. They currently rent it out. That’s what they want for us.

Mapeidde

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Here's another option.


Rent your home out, and with the rental income on your side, and his wages, rent somewhere for you all to live, that suits you and is big enough.


If that goes well and you want to be a forever item, then move into yours and put it in joint names, or sell up and buy somewhere together.

I like this idea. Again, an option we have thought about but we love my house, the neighbours, the area etc, thank you xx

Mojisola

Mapeidde wrote: »

My fianc! wanted to get married months after we were engaged but at that point I wasn’t ready.

A couple of my/our close friends who know us well have told me to seek advice as they fear I could loose it and understand my parents reasons for giving me lifetime security.

There really is no simple way to settle this -
either you don't get married and don't allow him to put money into the house and so protect your house
or you get married and risk a break-up and having to share the house as part of the divorce settlement.

You can't have a marriage and keep your home for yourself.

System

Mapeidde wrote: »

I’d never want him to live walking on eggshells worried that at anytime I could throw him out, or, he may want to end the relationship and split up. You have to think of these things because they can happen.


This also includes when I get married.

If I were him, I would be walking on eggshells too - affectively a lodger - this will cause damage to your relationship in future I promise that. You have a safety net, he doesn't.



No it doesn't include when you get married at all. He'd be entitled to half of it.

System

Mapeidde wrote: »

A prenup is always an option I guess.

They don't work in reality

System

Mapeidde wrote: »

I know that, but he wants us to get married as he feels it’s commitment.

I would want to too. You have reasonably savvy financial planning...so should he.

Comms69

Mapeidde wrote: »

Would you risk your house which your parents gave you with someone without some sort of protection?

I’m not asking for your opinion, I’m asking if anyone knows if there are any options to take to protect my house AND protect my fianc!’s investments he makes to the property.

Unfortunately no one can see into the future. It’s not really about comparing risks to benefits, I wouldn’t be posting on here otherwise. I’m very sensible, not selfish..... even if I chose not to marry, I’d still need this advise!

You have no choice if you intend to get married.


Prenups are, rightly, not enforceable in this country.


Don't like it, don't get married

Comms69

goodwithsaving wrote: »

This is such a naive view in a world where many people are getting married older and have built significant assets prior, and I get really fed up of reading it on this forum.
There is nothing wrong with being astute and wanting to protect what is yours prior to marriage. I'd split what was earned during, no problem but certainly not what I'd earned myself beforehand.

Hence why I will not get married before pre-nuptial agreements become legally binding in the UK.
OP, what HazyJo said was a good suggestion just be aware that after a few years of marriage entitlement is 50/50 before any movement either way.

It's not naïve, it's just a fact.