MMD: Should I pay more than my partner?

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Former_MSE_Naomi
Former_MSE_Naomi Posts: 519 Forumite
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edited 6 March 2018 at 8:42PM in Marriage, relationships & families
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
I've been with my partner for nearly eight years and we've always split everything 50/50 (bills, meals out etc). But recently he brought up that I'm earning 25% more than him - so should I pay more?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

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Comments

  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    Yes you should. After 8 years I have to wonder why you haven't got married and why you don't have shared finances but are still splitting everything like flatmates. Do you have children?

    Oh wait, nobody's going to answer, are they?
  • ska_lover
    ska_lover Posts: 3,773 Forumite
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    No, why should you pay more towards the household expenditure as a punishment for your success, if he wants more excess income he should earn it
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • KxMx
    KxMx Posts: 10,605 Forumite
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    Do whatever works for you as a couple.

    Your partner may well feel you should pay more, discuss the reasoning behind this with them and see where you can meet in the middle maybe.
  • riotlady
    riotlady Posts: 442 Forumite
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    After 8 years together I would expect a couple to have more of an "our money" approach than splitting everything 50/50, but I don't think it's necessarily a moral imperative.

    I'm curious as to why you wouldn't though- surely you're a team?
  • comeandgo
    comeandgo Posts: 5,744 Forumite
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    How sad this is, you have to ask some faceless people rather than discuss this with your partner. Do you never surprise him and take him out for a meal or he you? You say everything is paid 50/50, even meals out.
    Pay more into your pension so that you both have exactly the same disposable income.
    Another thought, if you get more Christmas presents than he does, does he sulk?
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,367 Forumite
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    What do you do with your extra disposable income? A bit awkward when you plan a nice holiday abroad and he tells you he can't afford it when you have £1000s in the bank.
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,751 Forumite
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    riotlady wrote: »
    After 8 years together I would expect a couple to have more of an "our money" approach than splitting everything 50/50, but I don't think it's necessarily a moral imperative.

    I'm curious as to why you wouldn't though- surely you're a team?

    It works differently for different couples, not all would work like this. I've been with my fianc! for 11 years and we still keep our money separate. Works for us. Of course if children are involved I can see why it would work differently.

    In regards to the OP I don't necessarily think so. However given the difference in your salaries maybe the odd treat would be nice.
  • Gloomendoom
    Gloomendoom Posts: 16,550 Forumite
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    edited 6 March 2018 at 7:04PM
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    MSE_Naomi wrote: »
    I've been with my partner for nearly eight years and we've always split everything 50/50 (bills, meals out etc). But recently he brought up that I'm earning 25% more than him - so should I pay more?

    Suggest he gets a better paid job... or go part time yourself.

    Problem solved.
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    .
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  • Ames
    Ames Posts: 18,459 Forumite
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    Here's my tip - do a forum search for the many, many times this has bee discussed. Much quicker than emailing the forum team to ask them to start yet another thread on the subject.
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
  • Gloomendoom
    Gloomendoom Posts: 16,550 Forumite
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    Ames wrote: »
    Here's my tip - do a forum search for the many, many times this has bee discussed. Much quicker than emailing the forum team to ask them to start yet another thread on the subject.

    I always assumed that MMDs were made up by the forum team to promote activity on slack days.
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