Tring to lose weight - accusations and blame

andygb · 2 September 2017 at 8:46PM

I know that that sounds a bit strange - but
We are both trying to lose weight, and we were both managing to do that, until we both found new jobs.
I was able to keep on going to the gym each day and keep fit, as long as I stuck to my personal diet (too complicated to explain, but basically a mix of carbs, fibre and prtein which worked for me - as it had done 30 yeqrs previously as an athlete).
My OH has not been able to keep on going to the gym (as I fully understand, given her journey, the fact that she is kncakered when she comes home).
So, I have been eating my usual food, including cashew nuts (which I love), and have been slowly cutting my weight down (in spite of my office job).
My OH has been doing no exercise (has not joined the cheap works gym), has been eating the same food (more cals less exercise) and yet blames me for her weight gain, because she eats nearly the whole packet of cashew nuts each day, despite my best efforts to hide them from her.
What should I do??????

custardy · 2 September 2017 at 8:52PM

Maybe show her this post. Should keep her clear of your nuts.

karcher · 2 September 2017 at 8:53PM

andygb wrote: »

I know that that sounds a bit strange - but
We are both trying to lose weight, and we were both managing to do that, until we both found new jobs.
I was able to keep on going to the gym each day and keep fit, as long as I stuck to my personal diet (too complicated to explain, but basically a mix of carbs, fibre and prtein which worked for me - as it had done 30 yeqrs previously as an athlete).
My OH has not been able to keep on going to the gym (as I fully understand, given her journey, the fact that she is kncakered when she comes home).
So, I have been eating my usual food, including cashew nuts (which I love), and have been slowly cutting my weight down (in spite of my office job).
My OH has been doing no exercise (has not joined the cheap works gym), has been eating the same food (more cals less exercise) and yet blames me for her weight gain, because she eats nearly the whole packet of cashew nuts each day, despite my best efforts to hide them from her.
What should I do??????

Stop buying Cashew Nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or buy them but eat them at work.

HTH

gettingtheresometime · 2 September 2017 at 8:59PM

Give her smaller portions on a smaller plate?

Ms_Chocaholic · 2 September 2017 at 9:05PM

Maybe she's just not in the zone. I am (in the zone) at the minute and I know how difficult it is when you can't be motivated to lose weight/get fit. Not sure how to fix it though.

goodwithsaving · 2 September 2017 at 9:34PM

You're both adults and perhaps she should grow up and take responsibility for her own actions? You aren't pouring cashews into her mouth each night.
Meal planning, tupperware containers, another distraction away from eating (I sew or do a puzzle, just to distract and stop me eating).

Ames · 2 September 2017 at 10:16PM

Does she actually want to lose weight or is she just going along with what's really your pet project? Or feeling like she should lose weight when deep down it doesn't bother her?

Also, your diet sounds like one that I find puts on weight. I can't exercise so carbs are a problem for me, so perhaps she just needs to find what works for her?

For practical advice, she could have a look at My Fitness Pal. The forums have loads of info about a multitude of diets, so she would be able to find the best for her (they really frown on faddy diets too, which is good). Logging your food intake - as long as you're brutally honest - is easy using their database, and a real eye opener. A lot of things, especially nuts, have far more calories than you think, whereas other things are almost calorie free.

[Deleted User] · 3 September 2017 at 12:17AM

I know it sounds cruel but how about embarrassing someone into realising themselves they need to change - It only took me being walked very quickly to the point of running up 4 flights of stairs recently at the start of a rather important interview, I lost my breath and couldn't get it back until the interview was very nearly finished. I was really ashamed

I let myself go after my week away back in July...
So could you find something like a nice windmill with a lot of steps to climb and time each other in the friendliest cruel to be kind way.

Otherwise I get a lot of motivation, competitiveness, guilt from my fit bit !
Parents will moan if they haven't tracked me doing anything!

chiefie · 3 September 2017 at 7:10AM

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Maybe she's just not in the zone. I am (in the zone) at the minute and I know how difficult it is when you can't be motivated to lose weight/get fit. Not sure how to fix it though.

This is the key. I tried half heartedly to lose weight and it can't be done. I then started slimming world and my competitive nature meant I knew I had to face the scales weekly. This kept me motivated. 3 stone in 20 weeks.

You either want it or you don't. Previously I didn't want it enough to persevere through the weak points.

But I also agree that you need to stop buying things either of you will be tempted by. So for her I would stop buying the nuts or keep them in your car or work.

Good luck

pinkshoes · 3 September 2017 at 8:33AM

Nibble your nuts in your car and keep them out the house.

Go running together?

It is entirely her own fault she is still fat.

meer53 · 3 September 2017 at 8:49AM

Someone telling me they can eat industrial quantities of cashew nuts but still lose weight would push me straight to the nearest McDonalds via the Krispy Kreme 24 hr drive through.

Keep your weight loss to yourself and leave her to come to her own conclusion that she needs to get her !!!! into gear.

Tring to lose weight - accusations and blame

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