Getting married - Family issues , needing advice

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  • Slinky
    Slinky Posts: 9,987 Forumite
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    Haylescom wrote: »
    It's your day and potentially costing you a lot of money; invite who you choose and let them decide.
    My grandad fell out with my cousin just before Christmas. Apparently he's now refusing to come to mine and OH's wedding in October. He hasn't told me this, just told my dad. I think he's waiting for me to say my cousin isn't invited. It's their squabble, they're both invited and if one chooses not to come despite it having nothing to do with me, it's up to them!


    Which is all very well until they both decide to come, have too much to drink and you end up with one of those wedding fights that gets posted on the internet.
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  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,393 Forumite
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    How the heck does someone contemplate planning a wedding for two years!!!!

    There!!!8217;s more to life.
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    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
  • chesky
    chesky Posts: 1,341 Forumite
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    Isn't it nice - and so unexpected - when EVERYBODY agrees in a thread.

    When I got married, there was just me and him, plus his best friend and my mother. And the registrar. His parents didn't come. Didn't miss them. Highly recommended.
  • onlyroz
    onlyroz Posts: 17,661 Forumite
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    How about having a minimalist wedding (eg just yourselves and both sets of parents) followed by a larger party possibly on a different date, where you invite whoever you want?
  • seven-day-weekend
    seven-day-weekend Posts: 36,755 Forumite
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    pollypenny wrote: »
    How the heck does someone contemplate planning a wedding for two years!!!!

    There!!!8217;s more to life.

    Glad it's not just me who doesn't understand this.

    It's one day of your life. An important day,yes, but you don't need to spend a fortune or invite the world and his wife.

    Just get married with two witnesses and tell people afterwards. Then no-one can argue over who was invited and who wasn't.
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  • Out,_Vile_Jelly
    Out,_Vile_Jelly Posts: 4,842 Forumite
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    If your family can't be trusted to behave like grown-ups, then invite good friends/colleagues instead.

    A friend of mine's husband has a family with a distinctly ne'er-do-well side. She's been to some properly shocking weddings; speeches being heckled, guests released from prison the day before, fights, police being called etc. Do you want your wedding to be the one that random strangers laugh about in offices across the country when the stories get passed on?
    They are an EYESORES!!!!
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    Some wedding venues are now looking at the possible wedding guests - and refusing bookings - see https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/local-news/travellers-essex-cancelled-wedding-orsett-14392549
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,688 Forumite
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    edited 12 March 2018 at 12:15PM
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    pollypenny wrote: »
    How the heck does someone contemplate planning a wedding for two years!!!!

    There!!!8217;s more to life.
    I guess the venue might need booking that far in advance.

    Not my cup of tea (I had 2 small weddings, both in a Register Office and arranged within a few months - our choice) but then again it's not me or you who is getting married.

    If I had the family that the OP says she has, I'd not invite the cousin, her partner, their kids, her Dad, her Nan, the Uncle who pulled the knife stunt and his family and the whole family who told me I was being silly and selfish to the wedding.
    In fact, I'm nor even sure I'd want my own partner there after he retaliated and 'said some things that were so out of order'.

    What a sorry mess it all sounds. :(
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,688 Forumite
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    thorsoak wrote: »
    Some wedding venues are now looking at the possible wedding guests - and refusing bookings - see https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/local-news/travellers-essex-cancelled-wedding-orsett-14392549
    I've read the article.
    Not a lot of it rings true,
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    edited 12 March 2018 at 12:15PM
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    Believe me - the fact that the venue has cancelled is correct. And the ethnicity of the guests/bride and groom is confirmed in social media and I understand this gave the venue cause for concern.

    Whether the venue's action in cancelling the event for the reasons given is legal is, of course, open to question.
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