Getting married - Family issues , needing advice

Pollycat

Your wedding, your choice of who to invite (may be a bit less clear cut than that if someone else e.g. parents are funding or helping fund the wedding.

We had something similar at my first wedding (that me and OH-to-be were funding entirely on our own).
Smallish do, we invited one cousin & his partner as we were friends with them and went out with them every Saturday. I'd not even met the other cousin, OH hadn't seen him for years.

The cousin who had been invited got bolshy and said he wouldn't come unless his brother was invited so we rescinded the invitation.
No discussion, no going back. We didn't miss their company.

Pdbaggett

Same as other advice.

Send invitations to who you want and forget about it, if they come they come. Its your day not theirs

Gavin83

This really isn't much of a dilemma. Invite who you want, don't invite who you don't want there. If other people complain remove their invitations. To be honest it sounds like if they were out of your life it would do you a favour so consider it a plus if they don't talk to you again.

I assume you aren't inviting your dad either?

Mojisola

xironsongx wrote: »

Basically I don't want my cousin,her 2 kids or her partner at our wedding.

There was massive fight between me and my whole family as my family ignored my feelings and couldn't understand why i was mad.

My fiance has asked that I do not invite her because he doesn't want me to get stressed and anxious that anything will happen and spoil my day as well as his.

Now the thing is , my nan said she will not come if I don't invite my cousin. Which is fine but then I'm faced to deal with if my nan isn't going , my uncle (the one who planted the knife in my bag) and his family won't come .

Good! That will make the day much easier.

If your Nan wants to miss your wedding, that's her choice.

With such a messed-up family though, I'd have a very small ceremony with people you actually like and can trust to behave.

thorsoak

The only people necessary at a wedding are the bride, the groom, the officiating registrar/priest and two witnesses.

Everyone else is surplus to requirements. You don't need anyone else - unless you really, truly want them there.

BrassicWoman

Elope. Your family sound like Shameless. Enjoy marrying into something more sane.

pinkshoes

xironsongx wrote: »

We've changed our date to next year , I'm trying to get as much sorted before then as we are on a small budget

Lots of your family sound like unhinged loonies!!

If you have a small budget then why not just elope??

You can then have a small party for the family members you do like. If they want to be petty and not go because you haven't invited your cousin, then yay! Less costs!

Mojisola

xironsongx wrote: »

We've changed our date to next year , I'm trying to get as much sorted before then as we are on a small budget

If you do the basic legal ceremony, you've got more than enough money now and can divert any more savings you get into your emergency fund.

Haylescom

It's your day and potentially costing you a lot of money; invite who you choose and let them decide.
My grandad fell out with my cousin just before Christmas. Apparently he's now refusing to come to mine and OH's wedding in October. He hasn't told me this, just told my dad. I think he's waiting for me to say my cousin isn't invited. It's their squabble, they're both invited and if one chooses not to come despite it having nothing to do with me, it's up to them!

Pollycat

Haylescom wrote: »

It's your day and potentially costing you a lot of money; invite who you choose and let them decide.
My grandad fell out with my cousin just before Christmas. Apparently he's now refusing to come to mine and OH's wedding in October. He hasn't told me this, just told my dad. I think he's waiting for me to say my cousin isn't invited. It's their squabble, they're both invited and if one chooses not to come despite it having nothing to do with me, it's up to them!

If it's a sit-down meal that is going to cost you if one or both choose not to attend, I'd be asking who was coming and who wasn't.