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Grandparent fostering a grandchild?

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  • FBaby wrote: »
    Additional funding would be available via tax credits, CB in the same way normal parents would, however, they would get even more by taking the fostering route. Access to support is available without needing to go the fostering route. So why else consider your grand child a foster child but for the additional money to what parents are entitled to?

    There's often, in reality, not a great deal of support even for ordinary foster carers so I'd question how much there'd be for grandparents looking after their grandchildren.
  • There's often, in reality, not a great deal of support even for ordinary foster carers so I'd question how much there'd be for grandparents looking after their grandchildren.

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  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
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    If a child is fostered an allowance is paid. Why should the carers not receive this because they are grandparents? The care they provide is of equal, arguably greater value, because of the stability they offer; and the costs they incur would be the same.
    Because I don't see grand-parents as 'carers' but as what they are grand PARENTS. Where does it stop otherwise? If a child lives with his mum FT and then mum passes away so that the care goes to the father who before then only saw his child once a month as living miles away, should they also be entitled to becoming a foster parent because they are becoming carer for that child?

    I guess I find it shocking as I come from a culture where family doesn't stop at mum and dad. I cannot imagine considering myself a foster parent to my future grandchildren just to get more money if it came to it, nor would I do it for my sister's kids. They are my family and if something happened that meant I had to look after them, I wouldn't expect any additional money then what I would be entitled as a parent.
    Having a child with fost care status also entitles the grandparents to access specialist training around developmental trauma which without it they cannot access and the child/children are denied the benefit of.

    Call me cynical but I don't believe for a second that is the main reason for grand parents do go down that route. Such access would be available from a referral via SS or the NHS. I think what it comes down to is that culture of entitlement when people value any additional cash and the material things that it gets them above that of the message that it gives, which is that the child is a commodity rather than a family member.
  • silvercar
    silvercar Posts: 49,914 Ambassador
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    Fbaby, you are being a bit harsh.

    Elsewhere on the forum people seek to maximise their benefit entitlement, to the extent of choosing to work X hours a week, to getting a job because they "failed" a benefit test etc I don't necessarily see why grandparents are exempt from doing the same.

    Especially when the cost to the state is less by in family adoption and generally benefits the child.

    Its not a case of saying the grandparent is doing it for the money, rather that they are doing it anyway but want to make sure they are getting all their benefit entitlement.
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  • happyandcontented
    happyandcontented Posts: 2,768 Forumite
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    edited 11 February 2018 at 12:59PM
    I come into contact with a family very similar to that described in the OP (through a relatives involvement) and I see first hand how hard it is for a seventy-two year old woman to cope with two boisterous boys both with medical/emotional issues arising from the circumstances of their birth.

    I certainly wouldn't begrudge her state help to do this very difficult job.
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
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    FBaby wrote: »
    Because I don't see grand-parents as 'carers' but as what they are grand PARENTS. Where does it stop otherwise? If a child lives with his mum FT and then mum passes away so that the care goes to the father who before then only saw his child once a month as living miles away, should they also be entitled to becoming a foster parent because they are becoming carer for that child?

    I guess I find it shocking as I come from a culture where family doesn't stop at mum and dad. I cannot imagine considering myself a foster parent to my future grandchildren just to get more money if it came to it, nor would I do it for my sister's kids. They are my family and if something happened that meant I had to look after them, I wouldn't expect any additional money then what I would be entitled as a parent.



    Call me cynical but I don't believe for a second that is the main reason for grand parents do go down that route. Such access would be available from a referral via SS or the NHS. I think what it comes down to is that culture of entitlement when people value any additional cash and the material things that it gets them above that of the message that it gives, which is that the child is a commodity rather than a family member.

    Fathers plan on an intend to become fathers, unless they have been raped. Grandparents have no choice as to whether or not they become grandparents.

    As an adoptive parent I can assure you that access to training, play therapy etc is not available from social services or the NHS. Before my son was adopted all of his fostering allowance was spent on therapies (it didn't come close to covering the cost, nevermind lost income or a trashed house) he needed to cope with the abuse he had suffered and to deal with attachment disorder. Without fostering allowance not only would my son not have been able to access therapy, we wouldn't have be able to ultimately adopt him as we can't provide 24/7 care for his entire life as housing, utilities and food are not free. Due to his therapy he is now a well functioning adult, it is disgusting that people want to remove vital therapy from children.

    I suggest you watch a home for Maisie to see the realities of fostering and the almost non-existent support for foster carers.
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
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    Some information here about what support you get in different kinship roles

    http://www.fosterline.info/kinship-care-friends-and-family-care/

    Hopefully, it informs the discussion.

    As I said earlier my partner is pretty much a parent to her grandson these days. She is worn out and it has affected her social life. She does it because she loves the child and wants to give him the best possible environment Fostering is not an option (her son lives with her). If it was (and while money is tight for her) there is no way she would go down that route purely for the cash. She would only do it if it produced extra support, care, help for him.

    I know quite a lot of others in similar situations and they would say the same. I will also say that no amount of extra money would compensate for the stress, tiredness, etc that she now suffers.

    I would not call you cynical Fbaby. In this case, for the vast majority of grandparents fostering, I would say you were wrong.
  • FBaby wrote: »
    Because I don't see grand-parents as 'carers' but as what they are grand PARENTS. Where does it stop otherwise? If a child lives with his mum FT and then mum passes away so that the care goes to the father who before then only saw his child once a month as living miles away, should they also be entitled to becoming a foster parent because they are becoming carer for that child?

    I guess I find it shocking as I come from a culture where family doesn't stop at mum and dad. I cannot imagine considering myself a foster parent to my future grandchildren just to get more money if it came to it, nor would I do it for my sister's kids. They are my family and if something happened that meant I had to look after them, I wouldn't expect any additional money then what I would be entitled as a parent.

    You might not expect any extra money for looking after your grandchildren but how would you manage if you or your husband had to give up your job to look after them, particularly if neither of you earned the sort of salary that I think you do?

    You're writing as if the need would arise after a car crash killed the parents or similar but this is rarely the case. It's far more likely to be in this position because the child's parents had abused them or were drug addicts/alcoholics or any of the multiple tragedies where children have been taken into care. It would be unlike being a parent over again -the relationship would need to be far more therapeutic and far more akin to being a carer than the relationship you'll have enjoyed with your own children.
  • FBaby wrote: »
    I wouldn't expect any additional money then what I would be entitled as a parent.

    Would you turn it down if it was available to help you though?
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Fathers plan on an intend to become fathers, unless they have been raped. Grandparents have no choice as to whether or not they become grandparents.
    Quite a few fathers would argue this, with all those 'accidents' taking place. Still don't see what difference it makes. Grand parents don't have to take on their grandchildren if they don't want to either.
    As an adoptive parent I can assure you that access to training, play therapy etc is not available from social services or the NHS
    So make these services available to grandparents without them having to become foster parents and gain additional funding as a result.
    You might not expect any extra money for looking after your grandchildren but how would you manage if you or your husband had to give up your job to look after them, particularly if neither of you earned the sort of salary that I think you do?
    I would claim the same benefits than parents do, tax credits etc... I have no issue with this, I have an issue with the fact that foster parents can claim these benefits in addition to the extra funding that comes from fostering.
    I will also say that no amount of extra money would compensate for the stress, tiredness, etc that she now suffers.
    And what about all people in their 60s who look after their own parents, exhausting and stressful too. Should they too claim because they didn't ask to look after their parents but it's better than going into care? They get CA and that's that. As a foster parent, you can get up to £400 a week and that is income that is not counted for tax credits purpose I believe.

    I wonder how these children introduce their grandparents in these circumstances? 'Hello, please meet my foster parent, oh yes, she happens to be my grandmother but looking after me is stressful and tiring, so that makes her a foster parent!' Poor kid.
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